SKALBS

Be Wary!

For the first commentators who queried why Conrad had mangled "SCALDS" only exist as a radioactive vapour, thanks to my Remote Nuclear Detonator.

Kinda like this, I am told*

     In fact it's an artificial word I just made up from the initial letters of a bunch of VERY questionable Codeword solutions.  Let the ranting begin!

"SHOO": What?  This is an exclamation, not part of English as she is spoke or wrote.  Yes, it's in my Collins Concise, which made a splendid thud as it hit the wall and fell to the floor.  Bah!

"KIBBUTZ":  What? again.  This refers to a variety of collective farm as found in Israel, owned communally by the members, and which is derived from the Hebrew "Quibbutz", which means "Gathering".  ARE WE NOW EXPERTS IN ANCIENT BIBLICAL LANGUAGES?  Grrrrr.

Buncha hippy farmers

"AXIOM":  I bet this swining word has Greek roots.  It is defined as "A generally accepted proposition, sanctioned by experience".  Why not just say 'good idea' and be done with the Hellenic posing?  Because yes, it comes from the Greek "Axioun" meaning "Worthy".

Conrad guessing that would be "Anaxioun", chaps.

     Sheesh.  Mock-translating "Wayne's World" into Greek.  This is not how I saw today going.  Next!
     "LUX": This sounds suspiciously familiar.  Suspiciously.  Conrad feels certain that he's ranted and tanted about this word recently,  but cannot summon up the enthusiasm to bother looking.

At least I made a clean breast of it

"BUOY": O boy did this one throw me.  How many words can you think of that have "UO" in the middle?  You can have endless malicious fun asking South Canadians to pronounce this, whereas we here in This Sceptred Isle simply omit the "U" and say "Boy".

"SONATA":  O I give up.  I'll be at the gin trough if you want me.

     So there you have the origin of "SKALBS".  Some smart-bottom is likely to come by and announce "O actually that's the name of a proto-Aryan tribe from - " and then they will be cut short, whilst local Geiger counters tremble slightly.

     

A Crash Course

As you should surely know by now, Conrad gets into some very odd corners of teh Interwebz, usually without intending to and often being unable to find his way back.  Let us now look at an incredible series of events taking place - we presume - in China.  Art!

     Look to upper starboard, where you can see Crash Bandiscooter score his first hit of this scene; for all we know he's been proceeding in exactly the same fashion, just out of camera view.  Once he's picked himself up, he remounts his trusty steel steed and -

     Scores another broadside.  Drink?  Drugs?  Both?  Stupidity and an inner-ear problem?  All of the above?  Who knows.  Crash the Bandiscooter isn't going to let these minor disasters stop him from his karmic destiny, which is yet to come.

    Small beer, this; he only hits another scooter rider, which is a bit of a comedown from a van and a car.  But wait!  Our hero was merely rehearsing for the big one -

    A bus, head-on!  Wow, that's ambitious.  Naturally he and his scooter come off worst in this uneven competition.

     At first he runs off, then comes back to his now rather-battered transport, and a couple of kind souls put back bits that fell off.  

     Crash then drives off, right into a safety fence, which is plainly visible and has been ever since he came into shot.  

     The fence is there to keep folks away from the GIANT HOLE IN THE GROUND which has also been plainly visible all the time.

     I've Googled a bit about this and the chap seems to have survived relatively unscathed, though there's no information about whether the traffic police had a little chat with him.  You can, after all, fix a scooter; the same cannot be said of stupid.

     

Arnel Baluyot

Another name from that poster over at "Printed In Blood", which is a pretty handy-dandy method of getting artistic recommendations.  Arnel seems to go by the alias of "Ninjabot", and even has a marque displaying the same.  Art!

     He looks to promote himself on half a dozen platforms, because if you're an artist you have to hustle to pick up gigs and pay the rent.  Art!

You know who

     And he's not limited to one style or medium.  You ought to know who this is -

The Man Of Steely-eyed Determination

     So there we go.  All of us are better-informed than we were five minutes ago.

"Pivot" And "Divot"

Here we go again, two words similar in spelling that Conrad mused about last night and determined to track down today.  "Pivot", for your elucidation, is of French origin and goes back to the 14th century, which is all the detail I could find.  Art!

     That's a pivot in the sense of being a rod which allows a turning motion.  And that's about all I could find about it.  The "T" was probably silent way back then, and the French probably sneer knowingly when they hear us pronounce it, the bally swines!

      "Divot" means a piece of turf hacked out of the screaming earth, usually by sporting means as with a golf club, cricket bat or boot-encased foot.  Art!

     I couldn't find a root definition, only that the word comes from Scotland and referred to the turves that were used to roof houses way back then.  This actually makes sense, since the Scots invented golf in between going to war with each other, and if things on the course got heated you have a handy weapon already to hand.  Conrad confesses he cannot see the attraction of golf**.

Finally -

I was going to regale you with another Darwin Award wannabe, and then thought we'd had enough of this topic thanks to our Chinese Crash Course Collider King.  What, then?  Well, earlier yesterday I was whanging on about Laser Cannons, and that apprentice DA anecdote involved a laser.  An industrial one for cutting metals.  Art!

     Conrad also mused that you are able to see laser beams in normal use because they reflect light of dust or water vapour in the air.  Out in deep space they would be invisible because - nothing to reflect from.  ALL THOSE SCI-FI FILMS LIED TO US!

*  Of course I rely on witnesses - it is a "Remote" Nuclear Detonator, after all.

**  Horses for courses.  Most people cannot find any fascination in nuclear weaponry.