Since We Have Been Dealing With Heavy Metal Of Late
I thought I'd post a parody of Steppenwolf's genre-defining hit - was it their only hit ever? Conrad unsure as not an expert in the field. Talking of fields, a 'wold' is (according to my Collins Concise) defined as open rolling country, especially uplands, and it comes from the Old English 'weald', meaning 'bush'. I thought it seemed more apt for This Sceptred Isle than a picture of a bunch of scruffy-looking thuggish musicians, who probably take drugs and pass port on the left hand side, the dirty curs! Art!
Art, you bafoon! Where are the rolling uplands?
Just look at 'em. Bad news for gentleman's couturiers. Excuse me whilst I prod Art with a red-hot toasting fork -
Stow On The Wold
Let me pause briefly here to access my "Concise English Dictionary Of Place-Names" which I bought in a charity shop last year, which I've never looked at and which is going to be departing The Mansion O So Soon.
Hmmmmm, interesting. "Stow" is down as being a "holy place" such as a monastery or church; BUT they state that "Wold" derives from the Old English 'Wald' meaning 'Wood'. OMG ONE OF THEM IS LYING TO US!!
I think I'll go with the Oxford on this as they refer to <deep breath> the "Rolls of the Justices in Eyre for Gloucestershire", "Index to the Charters and Rolls in the British Museum" and "Charter Rolls".
Incidentally, if you feel mischievous, ask a foreigner to pronounce "Gloucestershire".
Well, all I expected from this Intro was a few lines about the countryside in The Sceptred Isle and a few cheap cracks at a band, when in fact we have ended up mired in unbelievable controversy.
Motley, go put some ice on Art's burn and prong marks, he's making a fuss.
"Samothrace"
Ah yes, another random word popping up in my mind. If you can explain why this happens, I would be very grateful. In the meantime it does provide a source of material for BOOJUM! so I cannot complain too much*.
Who, what and where is it and can it be eaten? are the questions I like to get settled first. Okay, it's an island, so not edible. It's one of the Greek possessions in the northern Aegean sea, and if Art will -
As you can see, it's very mountainous, so there's not a lot of land for agriculture. Nor does it have any natural harbours, so it got bypassed for most of the ancient period, until someone began promoting it as a religious destination, thanks to it possessing the Sanctuary of the Great Gods. That put it on the map, so to speak. Art!
Before
A lot of a fixer-upper, hmmmm? Whilst poking about amongst these remains in the nineteenth century, a French archaeologist found the fragments of a winged statue, which has been dubbed "Nike - Winged Victory of Samothrace". He promptly stole them and the re-assembled statue, minus it's head, now stands in the Louvre. Art!
So there you are. Samothrace, so called because it fell under the administration of Thrace and was settled by people from Samos.
Imitation Is The Sincerest Form Of Flattery
It says here. Okay, cast your mind back a good few decades to the Second Unpleasantness, when Perfidious Albion flew the Mosquito, an aircraft with an airframe made principally from wood. A light body and two powerful engines meant that it went like stink. The Teutons were appalled and fascinated in equal parts by this birch-bound beastly bird of bomb and bang, and after a while decided to build their own version. Art!
Note that this is a 'clean' prototype, without weapons or radar. The Teutons only began development of this aircraft in mid-1943, which meant that development and testing would last until well into 1944. Matters were not helped by the rivalry and outright hatred between Luftwaffe general Milch, who backed the Ta 154, as it was known, and aircraft designer Ernst Heinkel, who backed a completely different aircraft. Teuton efficiency at work, hmmmm? Art!
Working model with cannon and radar aerials
The working model was still slower than the Mosquito, by 15 m.p.h. and only 50 were made by late 1944; so it was outnumbered 154 to one by the Mozzie. Nor is that all ... The wooden airframe was glued together by a Teuton invention called "Tego", which was a stable and highly effective wood adhesive. However, the RAF then inconsiderately went and bombed the Tego factory, meaning a less effective substitute was used instead. When I say 'less effective' I mean it ate through the plywood and aircraft fell apart in mid air that summer. By September the plug was pulled and the "Moskito" got swatted. Art!
Suicide squad assemble!
Business As Usual
Conrad's crotchety combat contra Codeword compilers continues. I shall refrain from uttering the string of swears after completing one today, lest your ears blister and your eardrums implode. Let us kick off, whilst fondly imaging that a certain set of compilers were within kicking distance.
"CRUX": Who let the dogs out? Never mind that, who let the Latin in! I believe this is the Latin for "Cross", which is what I am. English is spoken by 98% of the world's population, SO USE IT INSTEAD OF ZOMBIE LANGUAGES. Bah!
Conrad being Crux
"TORQUE": This is something spin-related to engines. I think. Conrad pretty hazy on any kind of engineering detail, SO WHAT ARE WE ALL MOTOR MECHANICS NOW? Is there any way Art can clarify this?
"SCRAG": Grrrrr. Now they're using slang. Is this even in the Collins Concise? <checks>.
Dead right
There was more - O so much more, Jude Law! - but the human eye can only tolerate so much Frothing Nitric Ire.
See you tomorrow if neither the Robot Revolution or the Zombie Apocalypse strike.
* But still do.
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