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Thursday 20 May 2021

Blogger Better Boldly Bite Bullet

I Have Been Vacillating

No! Nothing to do with getting innoculated against Covid.  From Latin, I bet <checks Collins Concise Dictionary> yup, from "Vacillaere", meaning "To Sway"  - Art!

Like this puppy!

because I was stuck for a way to begin the Intro: should I pick up with David's Devilish Deeds? Or give Nick the Hat a fairer crack of the whip?  Or choose one of the horrid smelly hidden underground secrets beneath the streets of Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell? 

     Actually I think we'll begin with that last one.  Okay, way back in the Seventies, there was a bustling and fairly large underground market in Manchester, which rejoiced in the unoriginal name of "Market Centre", local Mancs being too busy making money to bother about novelty in name.  Art!

With the escalators indicating it is underground

     Your Humble Scribe remembers entering it one day way back when, just because I was as nosy then as I am now, and you got a glimpse of just how extensive it was when travelling down the escalators.  Anyone of a certain age (i.e. well over forty) and from Gomorrah-in-the-Irwell will probably go a little misty-eyed with nostalgia reading this.  Art!

As was, on Brown Street

As today, from the other end of Brown Street

     When the Arndale Centre opened it put a stake through the heart of Market Centre, and it had closed by 1989.  As you can see from the above, it's got no remaining presence above ground, gone like the Krell -  <ahem> The entrance has been concreted over and the other access via Boots is also closed off.

     However - or it would be a short Intro - a chap named "Matt" had been doing a lot of tracking, checking and exploration in subterranean and vintage Manchester and discovered the metal covers that allow access to the old Centre.  Art!

Taken from "Iđź’“Manchester"

     Conrad isn't going to explain exactly where these are, because getting sued for people breaking their necks is never a pleasant experience.  Matt put up pictures on his Facebook pages of what he'd encountered underground.  Art!

A Fixer-upper!

Okay, a lot of fixing and upping

      It's interesting to conjecture that very few of the people passing overhead (including Your Humble Scribe) have no idea what faded glories lie beneath their feet.

     Motley!  Let's practice lifting manhole covers and squeezing down the tunnels thus revealed!  You go first, I might block them.


David's Devilish Deeds Depicted

If you recall, our friend David had been fired by the repellent Noisy Gobshute for refusing to run and get him a coffee, a firing that had snowballed to NG's company getting an £800,000 fine and losing their renovation contract for Historic England.

     Things got still worse for NG, because he was the owner of only one-third of the construction company in question; his uncle and brother owned the other two-thirds and effectively forced him out of the company, taking over his share, since he had become a colossal liability.  Noisy Gobshute, true to form, took this badly and had to be taken out by security.

Like a pot

     But it's not over yet.  O no.  Historic England - whom I have cautioned you NEVER to get on the wrong side of - became increasingly suspicious and investigated a previous renovation carried out under NG's shambolic management.  It turns out he had ordered the destruction and removal of a 400 year-old piece of structural support, and the blame rested squarely on his shoulders despite him trying to bribe then threaten other people to confess to it.  His brother and uncle tried desperately, and unsuccessfully, to get Historic England to re-hire them.  They refused and put the contract out to tender.  Then their digging led to Her Majesty's Revenue And Customs becoming interested in NG, because they smelled the smell of tax fraud ...

HMRC werehound in training

     This is where the original tale ends, because the chap relaying all this information died from injuries received in a car crash (it says here).  Rather incredible, and Your Humble Scribe wonders if there's any mileage in contacting Historic England to see what they say.

     It turned out to be the world's most expensive cup of coffee ...


"Batwoman" Still In The Toilet

Metaphorically, that is, and we refer to the quality of the show - thank you Az for suffering on our behalf - and it's viewing figures.  You might even dare call it "Badwoman"*, because the figures have not changed from those they presented on Sunday: 341,000.  Usually there's some variation when the final totals are assessed, but not this time.  There are still 4 more episodes to go and Conrad confidently expects bets to be taken on when it drops below 300,000.

Your Humble Scribe enjoying a little schadenfreude


More Of Nick The Hat

No!  This is the appellation by which Nickolas Gucker, artist, likes to be known, not an indulgence in the theft of headwear.  Who do you think I am, Bertie Wooster?  I said we might come back to his oeuvre since we only put up a single picture of his before. Art!


     Call me judgemental if you like; that's not a book suitable for small children nor adults with an excess of imagination**.  Art!


     Conrad is unsure exactly what they're eating (and isn't going to look too closely) but that reddish tint does not bode well for their owner.  

     It's a bit tricky trying to find Nick's artwork as, when Googled, it tends to come up with a load of Dr. Seuss works about a small boy named Nick, which is about as far from the Lovecraft look as it's possible to get.

THE ELDRICH BLASPHEMOUS HORROR OF - Nick.

Finally -

Good news ahoy!  Well, potentially.  The BBC put up a page, fronted by John Boyega, which said a sequel is being planned for "Attack The Block", that low-budget but well crafted sci-fi thriller from <gurgles in horror> ten years ago.  Can it really be that old?  I remember going to see it at the pictures and everything <checks> yep.  It would be a bit of a blast to see where the characters had gotten to in the following decade.  Art!

The only aliens to invent dentistry before ophthalmology 

     And with that I think we're done.  Let me just check - yup done


*  O I'm so amusing.  So, so amusing.

**  Which is why I shall steer clear of it.

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