This One Is A Bit Abstract
But don't worry! I can still shoehorn a bit of "Forbidden Planet" in to provide a sound basis in reality. All this Intro is thanks to re-discovering that terrific photo of Michael Collins in the Apollo 11 Command Module, which Conrad had saved in his Favourites as a link to Facebook - not the BBC as I originally believed.
ANYWAY let us jump into the far future, and a television series you may have heard of: "Star Trek: The Next Generation", where the bridge of the 'Enterprise' seems to have been designed by an entity keen to evoke all the wonder and suspense of a furniture showroom. Art!
Excruciatingly bland. Everything is all touch-screen and digital, which is what comes of being created when those things were cutting-edge in the real world. Not to mention the soft pastel shades of grey and beige. Beige! The most neutral colour in the Universe. How is the Neutral Zone shown on star maps? As a big swatch of beige. Sheesh. Remember the original series, and their bridge?
Sharp bits! Straight edges! Primary colours!
Also, remember the target scanner that got added to Sulu's station, which would elevate into position? That was cool. Art!
Okay, let us now jump from the far future to the more recent past, and an illustration of how complex electro-mechanical systems were back in 1969. Art!
Bear in mind that Mike has to be cognizant (not a word you expected to see today) with ALL those controls, because whilst he's alone in orbit above Ma Moon, those controls and dials and buttons and meters are his responsibility. Doubtless there's an explanatory diagram floating around teh interwebz that explains what all those things do. Can't be bothered to track it down. I wonder - what does the current flight deck of a B52 BUFF* look like as opposed to those of the Sixties?
Oh - the motley? Currently in jail for playing Whack-a-Mole**.
"Biggles And The Penitent Thief" By Captain W.E. Johns
Not strictly relevant, I admit, yet it was the first thing that came to mind when reading about a South Canadian bank robber who not only gave himself up, but whom has turned his life around and now runs motivational courses. Art!
Mr Dyer was an ex-Marine who got into drugs, and turned to robbing banks to pay for his habit and also pay off some very dangerous people who were threatening his family. He carried out 100 robberies - no skimping on his work ethic there - before turning himself in during 2001 and serving a nine-year sentence. Since when he has stayed on the straight and narrow and seeks to help others do so. That above is him assessing the bank robbery scene in that very film, which he didn't rate very highly. He did point out that the seemingly impregnable bank vault would, in reality, be open for much of the bank's opening hours.
Sorry, did you expect an unhappy ending?
Yahoo, Another Chance To Mention "Forbidden Planet"!
Yes, we've mentioned the matte work on this film already, and I wanted to showcase some of the miniature effects, which were cleverly intercut with matte work to give a sense of immense scale to the Krell Machine. Art!
The matte effect here is the walkway, with the three tiny human protagonists walking along it, so you have a context to judge scale. Art!
 |
| "Look down, gentlemen. Are you afraid?" |
Conrad would be; according to Morbius there's 3,800 levels below this walkway, and the 'guard-rail' would be more likely to trip you up than save you. It may have had more utility for the Krell although I wouldn't bet on it. Art!
 |
| A very long way down |
Nothing is explained about what anything does or is, making the vista truly alien and unsettling, and to be shunned if you have the slightest twinge of vertigo.
"Ushanka Show"
Back to more Sinister-era high-jinks with Sergei, whose latest video is titled "They Steal Everything!". He quotes from the journal of a very high-level Sinister official, who, together with his comrades, was discussing the extremely serious, pervasive and extensive theft of goods in transit, usually on the railways. Billions of roubles-worth of goods were being pilfered from trains and as a metric, about 1/3 of all cars that arrived at destination had to be returned to the factory as various parts were missing. Art!
Tractors, too, were stripped of parts; not that you could own your own tractor and so fix it for free, but to re-sell on the black market. Meat and fish were also targeted, so if you had the money, you could eat very well providing you knew someone who did business on the side. Another metric: in 1971 4,000 people were arrested for theft on the railways; in 1979 11,000 people were arrested for the same offence. So it was getting worse! Of course the pampered bigwigs simply could not get their heads around why people would steal from the State, which they saw as stealing from themselves.
Conrad is pretty sure he's read about whole locomotives being stolen, five in one instance, and wonders how you'd make a profit from that?
"Going cheap. One former owner. Low mileage. Cash offers only please."
"Homosalate"
NO! This is nothing seedy or sleazy, how many times do I have to recite that BOOJUM! is eminently SFW, and that bare bottom we had on once was a statue's which makes it art and thus okay. Okay?
No, Homosalate is an active ingredient used in commercial sunscreens, technically 3,3,5-trimethylcyclohexyl 2-hydroxybenzoate, so it's no wonder they call it Homosalate. It's moderately effective at screening skin from UVB, yet completely useless at screening from UVA, so it gets used with a battery of other sunscreen agents.
And why did I mention this chemical compound? Because I was doing my nosy bit, examining the ingredients on a can of sunscreen spray.
The cause of a whole lot of problems
Sadly at present, sunscreens not required in This Sceptred Isle.
And with that we are done, because Your Hungry Scribe wants his lunch. Sagol! (which is "Goodbye" in Azeri).
* "Big Ugly Fat Feller"
** With real moles***.
*** Only kidding! With real voles.
No comments:
Post a Comment