Of Course, Here We Already Have Our Own Minor Lexicon Of Loony
Is it about time we listed some of the in-joke terminology that may be puzzling newer readers? Well, yes. Okay!
"Magma Moat": This is one of The Mansion's defences against the ever-present menace of steam locomotives, who will burst into the blog if they get half a chance, and who are always on the prowl, looking for a weak spot. A lake of lava is about the only thing that deters them, especially since we are still awaiting a new shipment of anti-tank missiles. Art!
Once it cools, of course, you have to excavate all over again
"SCRIVEL": What you see before you; a portmanteau version of "Scribbled drivel" because all this nonsense is hastily written out before being posted.
"REMOTE NUCLEAR DETONATOR": Exactly what it says. When Conrad wants to vanish someone, all he needs is an approximate GOS fix and a photograph. This device is why Russell Brand never stays in the same place two days running. Art!
I keep it in the basement
"SOUTH CANADIANS": Context ought to indicate you that these are Americans. Conrad likes to maintain the conceit that the American Revolution didn't happen, and, if it did, they lost.
"BRITISH AMERICANS": The Canuckistanians, who very sensibly remain part of the Commonwealth, even the French ones, who remain because they'd have nobody to blame if they went independent.
Queenie spreading rainbows and unicorns wherever she goes
"NORKS": We use this term interchangeably for either North Korea or Norway, and what we say will obviously indicate which of the two it is. If you cannot tell the difference between Pyongyang and Oslo, you need to refresh your geography skills.
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| Oslo - apparently on fire |
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| Sunny downtown Pyongyang. No - hang on a minute - |
"GUARD HOG/HARD HOG": Not mentioned overmuch nowadays, mainly because they have eaten all the people inclined to trespass on The Mansion's grounds. If you must know, the Guard Hog was in "Razorback" as a stunt double, and the Hard Hog (his cousin) was in "Hannibal". Art!
Hard Hog at the back
(He suffers from stage-fright)
"THE SKREEMING VOLES": A completely fictitious punk band, who were hilariously all the offspring of wealthy middle-class families, and whose album and song titles were merely an offensively punny collection of nonsense.
"THE OCKERS": Australians. I think this is a bit of a derogatory term from the last century, which makes it perfectly apt.
"THE POLITE AUSTRALIANS": The New Zealanders, who are indeed rather better-behaved than their neighbours to the west.
I think that's enough of the teary-eyed reminiscing, we have an Intro to deal with here! Let the scrivel pour forth -
"Veeblefetzer". Your Humble Scribe uses this word occasionally, because it will baffle, annoy and puzzle most non-South Canadian readers out there. It became an in-joke at "Mad" magazine in the Fifties, where it was used to describe arcane or complicated machinery or Macguffins. The word was popularised by an electronics inventor, Al Gross, who appears to have adopted it from Yiddish. His achievements including inventing Citizen's Band radio, where his broadcasting name was "Phineas Thadeus Veeblefetzer". Art!
Al, with his patented Walking-and-Talking device.
You need a more compact name for it, Al.
Conrad is pretty sure he read a short story that contained the term "Veeblefetzer repairman" in a collection of stories about spies. Author - ah, you got me there. First name possibly 'Robert' but neither Heinlein nor Silverberg.
Motley, The Mansion's aerial has gotten loose; get up on the chimney and steady it whilst we watch television. Quickly now!*
"Nepenthe"
Again, one of those words that simply pop up in my mind for no good reason. I can't complain, it generates blog content. Your Humble Scribe distinctly recalls reading it in at least one short story by H. P. Lovecraft, and from context it seemed to be a drug of unknown efficacy and origin. Also probably illegal. And obscure; I don't remember seeing it on the list of contemporary illegal substances on the 'Frank' website. Art!
There ya go
ANYWAY Your Humble Scribe went and looked it up in his Collins Concise, and here's what I found: a drug referred to by ancient writers that had the ability to dismiss mental distress or suffering, from - inevitably - the Greek, 'ne' for 'not' and 'penthos' for 'grief'. Nobody now knows exactly what this herbal preparation came from, with suggestions ranging from cannabis - WHICH IS ILLEGAL - to opium - WHICH IS EVEN MORE ILLEGALER - and borage - WHICH IS - borage?
Can you make porridge from borage?
Another 'Printed In Blood' Artist For You
Today it is Joshua Green, and if you are desirous of more information, you need to add 'comic' into your Google search, otherwise you end up with some fearfully worthy yet dull artist who is probably a member of the Royal Academy and exhibits with Saatchi and Saatchi. Art!
J. Green at work. I think this is SFW but don't look too closely just in case.
Okay, it's not that easy to locate his artwork since Google insists on including every comic book artist with the first name "Josh". I have a splash panel from the Tucson Comic Con that looks to have some of his artwork attached. Art!
From four years ago.
Let me dig around a little. Hang on!
This is an unusual and interesting 'Work In Progress' picture. You can see that the inks have been done, in what is probably the final stage of the artist creating the essential line art. What remains here is for the colour and dialogue balloons (if any) to be added. I have another of his ink-only and finished panels here also. Art!
Before 
After
Conrad's guessing that the beast in the picture is a variation on Cerberus. If you want to know more, please find below the link to Joshua's FB page:
https://www.facebook.com/LVCIFERX/photos
He does commissions, if you're looking for that unusual Christmas present.
I need to get a shift on, that laundry needs drying or I'll have no clean underwear for tomorrow. Yes, Conrad does have basic standards of cleanliness when it comes to his clothing. Food? An entirely different story. Mind you, I did throw away a pair of suspiciously smelly - and if I, with 1% of a normal Hom. Sap.'s sense of smell, can smell it, then things are bad - , slimy and discoloured beefburgers yesterday. I could probably have grilled and eaten them but the kitchen would have reeked and Wonder Wifey would not have been happy.
* Don't worry, motley's are very sure-footed. Plus, they bounce.
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