If I Said "N.W.O.B.H.M." -

Most Of You Reading This Wouldn't Have A Clue What I Was Talking About

Which is a good thing, because now I can show off (not that it takes much prompting).

     Actually - yes, this is an aside - that acronym also causes the old grey cells (probably more white than grey by now) to throw up another acronym from one of my favourite novels, "The Sands Of Valour" Art!

Excellent and accurate rendering of the early Pz Mk. IV and Honeys in the background

     "WYBMADIITYW" which transposes as "Will You Buy Me A Drink If I Tell You Why?", presumably referring to some mysterious event or happening 'Up the blue'.  It can also be read backwards as "YTIIDAMBYW" which transposes as "You Thought I Intended Drinking A Mild But You're Wrong", which is just someone being a cleverbottom.  'Mild', I should explain, is one of the popular types of beer here in the Pond Of Eden, having less bite than bitter.

     ANYWAY back to NWOBHM, because I can't be bothered to add in all the full stops.  Just use your imagination, okay?  It stands for "New Wave Of British Heavy Metal" and refers to a rash of bands that emerged at the end of the Seventies.  Widely promoted in "Sounds" when it was still a going concern, and Your Humble Scribe knows this since he used to buy it when the self-important posing of the "NME" got too annoying.  Art!

     The NWOBHM was enthusiastically embraced by "Sounds" because it had a freshness and dynamism old HM bands from the beginning of the decade lacked, and because the appeal of punk had long worn off.  Thus you get bands that were influential if commercially unsuccessful like Venom, Raven, Diamond Head, Nuclear Assault*, or Napalm Death; and you also had bands that became internationally famous, such as Iron Maiden and Def Leppard, perhaps including Motorhead in there as well.  Art!

The reason it's deaf is because you're TOO LOUD

     The phrase just cropped up in my head and I decided to see what history thought of it, not trusting my calcified brain cells to recall days of yore.

     Motley, we're going to practice for your first heavy metal concert, by putting a metal bucket over your head and hitting it with a hammer for ninety minutes.

Whilst On The Subject Of Music -

Don't forget, young people, it is essential for your parents to hate whatever music you love; if they go around humming the tunes you are listening to, your listening is wrong.  If they repeat the lyrics and muse thoughtfully over them, SMASH THAT CD WITH A HAMMER.  This has been a musical-awareness prompt.

     Let us get back to a little musical critique and analysing the lyrics to "Lucy In The Sky With Diamonds", shall we?  <rubs hands and cackles>

Follow her down to a bridge by a fountain

Follow whom?  The girl who just vanished?  How can you follow an invisible person!

Well yes if they keep their clothes on

Where rocking horse people eat marshmallow pies

HOW!  How, I ask you!  Also DO NOT TAUNT THE DIABETIC

How can one of these consume anything at ground level?

Everyone smiles as you drift past the flowers

Hang on, are we back in the boat again?

That grow so incredibly high

That's because they're actually Giant Hogweeds

CAUTION! Will cause chemical burns if touched

Newspaper taxis appear on the shore

Pshaw!  As if - any structural engineer will sneer in disbelief at this

Waiting to take you away

Destination; the nearest padded room

Climb in the back with your head in the clouds

Did you stick it through the fragile paper roof?

And you're gone

Yes, that is the function of a taxi; to take you from A to B

I'd give this one a miss.

     I can hear Paul crying so we'll leave it there for today.

"Dithyramb"

Again with the music!  Conrad is pretty sure he's only ever read this word in any modern literature once, in a ghost story by M. R. James.  What is it?  Of course it goes back to the Greek, being a hymn sung in honour of Dionysus, originally "Dithurambos", which got filtered by Latin into "Dithyrambus" and then shortened in English still further.  Art!

Dithyrambling.  Not going to enlarge as I suspect nudity.

Staggeringly Stupid

Conrad caught a glimpse on Youtube of an event so the above that it's hard to credit that it actually exists.  A little background digging revealed that it was from a South Canadian show called "Jackass", where the presenters get up to ridiculously harmful stunts, presumably after signing a waiver because no studio's insurers are going to be happy with what they do.  Art!

     Okay, four idiots on see-saws.  A touch bland, because any activity can only be enhanced by adding extra additional BULL!   Next!

That is not a happpy, carefree bull.  O no.

     The idea is that they see-saw their way out of danger as the bull approaches, except they don't appear to have thought this one through in terms of height and speed.  Art!

     There was only just sufficient clearance to get out of the bull's way, if one's legs were horizontal and forward, and it could close the distance before the next victim got themselves properly airborne.  They all ended up getting horned by the bull - not gored as it's horns were capped - and were probably purple for weeks afterwards.  Their see-saw ended up getting demolished by the furious beast.  Wannabe Darwin Award winners all!

Finally -

We only need a short item here, so - what can we use for inspiration?  Aha!  Art!

     The Curse Of The Brass Bra strikes again!  Except this time it seems to be made of aluminium, or perhaps steel.  Whichever, undoubtedly cold in the morning when donned.  Probably best to leave it on the radiator for a few minutes, dear.  O and compare her attire with that of the chap having a refreshing nap on the floor - she looks like a walkway model at a lingerie convention, whilst he appears to shop at Potato-Sack Fashions.  The brute leaning in the window doesn't look very friendly, so what is our vapid maiden doing?  Throwing up her arms and shrieking, when O look there's a hand-weapon mere inches from her starboard hand (Yes, the future will still use Imperial measures.  A man can dream).

     And with that, we are done!

*  I like them already!