Danger, Will Robinson!

That May Not Make Sense To Those Under Fifty

I can see an explanation looming.  There was an Irwin Allen television production known as "Lost In Space" from back in the Sixties, where you had Mom, Dad, Big Sister, Smaller Sister and Brother, plus Space Jock and Annoying Ninny (With A Woman's Bottom) and a chimpanzee with a fur bucket on it's head (not making this up) who were, indeed, lost in space.  Art?

     The future is mauve, apparently.  O and you may have noticed one of the better-written characters I didn't originally name: Robot.  Because this is the futu - excuse me, The Future, the Robinsons have a robot to - er - actually I forget what it was intended for originally - light engineering with the miracle material Sprong©? Making souffles?  Nannying!  That has to be it.  Nannying.  Because Mrs. Robinson was a terrible mother, and Will's sisters hated him, and his dad was an absent-minded smartest-idiot-in-the-room kinda guy, Will frequently ended up being babysat by Robot.

One of the inspirations for "Mystery Science Theatre 3000*"

     Robot was not the buzzkill you might imagine, as I don't think Isaac Asimov had invented the '3 Laws Of Robotics' by then -

     Here an aside.  Isaac was without question one of the leading lights of science fiction during the Fifties and Sixties and Seventies, and Conrad cannot help but recall some of the blurbs on the back of the Panther paperbacks about the 3LOR - Ol' Ize had "almost single-handedly" created them.  Art!

"Respect the sideburns"

     You know Conrad: a hair-splitting pedant with sharp eyes and a sense of curiosity.  So if Ol' Ize wasn't the sole creator, who else chimed in on 3LOR?  I may have to do a bit of digging on this.

     ANYWAY

     O yes, Robot.  As the Nickel-plated Nanny, Robot was excellent in warning Will about dangerous situations, by loudly proclaiming today's title.  Conrad has timed this statement and it takes about a second to utter.  So, why does an AI with the capability of making decisions in a femto-second, waste a whole second bleating loudly to the ether?  Hmmmmm?  Don't tell me, don't tell me - "it's the lethal sabotage programming that Doctor Smith" - he of the woman's bottom - "inflicted upon it."  

    I don't think you can get more deus ex machina than that.

 "Doctor Smith bravely took refuge behind the nearest cover.  Will."

     Of course, none of this verrrry long preamble has anything to do with what I intended to talk about, which once again reverts back to "Field Guns In France" and Major Fraser-Tytler's mention of the "Danger Angle".  You can guarantee that, given the number of men in an artillery battery, or an artillery brigade, over the space of 4 years at least one "Gunner Robinson, William 07552546" would crop up, so I'm covered there.  Art!

     I apologise for the paucity of photographs of NFT's 4.5" howitzer, but as a class they seem to be way, way behind the admittedly more numerous 18 pounder.  

     Okay, the Danger Angle is when artillery pieces in close proximity have their barrels aligned at less than 450 with regards to each other,  because the risk of death or injury to friendly gun detachments increases if there are any prematures (see yesteryon's blog).

     As the Danger Angle is approached, you are more aiming at your own guns than at the opposition, which is a bit topsy-turvy and not conducive to a long gunner lifespan.  Especially, as NFT points out, you keep getting prematures.

     Okay, the Motley is at Silly Mid Off in our game of Exploding Cricket, and the last fielder's remains have just settled to earth as the batsmen get back into their bunkers ...

O Memory

This is annoying!  Yes yes yes, I know EVERYTHING is annoying to Conrad.  This is more annoying than usual.  Your Humble Scribe is minded of a chocolate bar that came out in the Seventies, perhaps even the early Eighties, with a particularly desperate gimmick.  It danced it's way into your mouth came in a packet that was - I think - perforated down the middle, so you could <GASP!> eat one half right now and <FURTHER GASPS which might betoken a lung condition and you'd better see a doctor> eat the other half later.

28 not great

     Whomsoever dreamed this up and got it approved, should have taken a walk in my shoes.  Only in metaphor, my shoes are long and narrow and cause skin problems in normal humans.  For what is to stop someone from buying a SINGLE chocolate bar and - difficult technical matters here - eat it before buying a SECOND chocolate bar for later on?  Erm nothing, which is why this particular chocolate bar died the death and Your Humble Scribe cannot find out what it was called.  Which is, as I mentioned, annoying.

The Pack At The Back

Conrad took notice of a recommendation by <pause to bow in obeisance> Brian Michael Bendis earlier in lockdown, about which comic books he thought would help us through Covid-19.  Since BMB is no mean artist himself, and is author and creator of such as "Powers" and has won scads of awards and medals, his say-so carries considerable clout.  Thus Conrad bought "Once And Future", which has the excellent detailed artwork he is a sucker for, and is a re-telling of the Arthurian mythos, again rather topical as Your Humble Scribe is merrily trolling through "Le Mort D'Arthur".  There is a FANTASTIC panel in OAF where the revenant Arthur discovers that his queen has been unfaithful -

This chappy is not happy

     Er - quite.  Calm down, Art, you'll do yourself a mischief.  No - NO! not our Art the Neanderthal picture presenter - get back into the septic sump or no more Mara Corday cheesecake calendar shots for you -

     What I wanted to bring up were the other series in that publisher's roster, which had some intriguing titles.  Art! - NO MARA CORDAY CHEESECAKE -

     "Irredeemable" and "Incorruptible" rather struck my fancy.  In the former, a superhero becomes a supervillain; and the question of the moment, as you might imagine, is not "Why?" in plaintive tones, but "How do we stop him?" which is also relevant in the "Invincible" tomes I'm reading at the moment**.  The latter features a supervillain who decides to pack in the villainy and aim for redemption, or at least significant tax breaks, as a superhero.  Two spins of the coin, you might say.  

Finally -

Conrad hopes that the item above finally puts paid to the insidious rumour that he's an intellectual of some variety.  No man can be an intellectual whom reveres comic books!

*  No, I'm not going to explain myself.  Go look it up.

**  "How do we stop Evil Superman?" is a question the gubernational authorities in Metropolis should have been asking all this time.