When We Say "Norks"

It Can Be Taken In One Of Two Ways

Firstly WASH OUT YOUR SEWER-LIKE MINDS! <ahem> Secondly, when said in a jovial or respectful tone, it refers to the Norwegians, as seen in our brief article yesteryon about their annual sending of a Christmas tree to Trafalgar Square.  Thirdly, when said with a mocking tone, or derisively, then we are talking about North Korea.  Just to get that clear.  Art!

     Conrad occasionally makes fun of The Only Fat Man In North Korea, as it's glaringly obvious someone's getting their six meals a day, though you have to be wary of such sarcastic satire; it's too easy.  Low-hanging fruit, you might say, if we continue the food analogy.

    Speaking of which - there was an absurdly intriguing sidebar on the BBC's website, which, if Art will put down his plate of coal -

     The background artwork is that Heroic Stalinist style which went obsolete about 60 years ago, where everyone is loyal, steadfast, well-fed and either smirking like they overdid the laughing gas, or stern as in the pickle-up-yer-bum stern.  Our narrator and a couple of analysts explain that the mighty potato has made a comeback in Nork television propaganda, which means they've run out of rice.  Bad weather and flooding, sanctions and bad harvests mean the Nork staple (rice, do keep up!) has gone toes-up, hence paeans of praising potatoes.  Art!

The Nork's most popular drama series "Overachieving Farm Norms"

     If the government are actually allowing reality to intersect with their propaganda, then things must be bad.  Last year, in a severe drought, they continually broadcast how good the weather was, how ripe the crops, how huge the harvest - talk about irony, hmmm?     Now it's all tubers, tubers, tubers.  I suppose it beats eating each other*.
     

"I want all of these for breakfast."

    O motley!  Peel and chip these, will you?

Meanwhile, Another Dictator ...

Your Humble Scribe is unsure whether or not you've seen the excellent yet very depressing film "Downfall", with an on-form Bruno Ganz playing the part of Herr Schickelgruber.  You have very probably seen the skits on That Scene in the Fuhrerbunker where he goes off on one and shrieks insanely at his generals, and Conrad thought it would be amusing to analyse it, too, for shizzles and giggles.  Art!

     This is the position on the ground, with the Red Army closing in on Berlin and about to enter the eastern suburbs, and also seeking to fully encircle the city.  There is absolutely no hope for a successful defence.

"Steiner's assault will bring it under control"

         This, children, is what we call a pipe-dream.

     Reality intrudes.  Abrupt end of pipe-dream.

Herr Schickelgruber thins out his audience

     Keitel was unkindly known to other Teuton generals as "Lakeitel" or "The Nodding Donkey", due to his utter spineless prostration at the feet of Herr Schickelgruber.  For him to be accused of betrayal demonstrates an acute lack of touch with the real world.

     "I refuse to accept your reality and instead substitute my own" - a relevant line from Mythbusters.  A.k.a. "It's not my fault, it's not my responsibility, we're winning the war because I say we are!" which is avoiding responsibility while still trying to take credit.

     The scene is set in late April, when the Second Unpleasantness had only a couple of weeks to run in Europe, and everyone except Herr Schickelgruber knew it.  Down in the Fuhrerbunker he could continue to move pins on maps, issue orders to divisions that no longer existed, and generally make-believe the war was just about to go his way because Exotic New Wonder Weapons were going to appear.  What you might call Total Reality Disconnect.

     Yes, Vulnavia, there are certain real-world relevancies, which are definitely Political, so we shall stop right NOW.

"Battlestar Galactica: 33"

There are going to be spoilers here.  I'm being merciful in telling you, because the series we're talking about is 15 years old (!) and has been repeated and out on DVD, so there.

     The title refers to the length of time it takes for the Cylons to track down and light-jump to the rag-tag human fleet's location, in minutes.  By the time we join in a cold open, the fleet has jumped 236 times in the span of about 132 hours, and nobody is getting sleep beyond a quick cat-nap.

     That tormented and ambivalent genius Doctor Baltar eventually makes the leap of extrapolation, aided by his tarty blond muse**, that the "Olympic Carrier" is a trojan horse, which has been giving away the refugee's location each time.  Hmmmmmm.  Conrad would have expected one of the 'Galactica''s professional crew to have realised this, if not the exact ship responsible.  Art!

     That's the treacherous vessel in question.  After an absence of hours it suddenly returns, with no explanation of how it wasn't vapourised by the Cylons - and it's only communicating by radio.  When 'Galactica' detects nukes on board the errant vessel, it's commanded to stop.  It doesn't.  It won't respond to radio, nor to warning shots by a couple of Vipers.  Young Adama, greatly daring (this thing is carrying nuclear warheads!) does an eyeball flyby and can't see any humans aboard, so he and Starbuck shoot it apart.  

     Memory a funny thing.  Conrad was under the impression that the OC just fell quietly apart in a few pieces but No!  This thing blows up big time.  

     Conrad also unsure why young Adama is guilty about doing the Blowing Up Big Time - there are no human remains in the debris field, and you can bet folding money that there will have been scopes on said debris field to see if any nuclear payload survived.  Less a plot hole than a plot worn-a-bit-thin, and otherwise an excellent first season first episode.

     We will be coming back to this topic, if a tad tangentially.  O yes indeed.

Finally -

Better polish this off.  Your Humble Scribe intends to get his weekend walk to Royton in shortly, as we need some Discreet Doggy-Doodoo Disposal Devices, and I need to get my step count up, or Fitbit will tell me off.

     So - with this we are done!

*  Only half-funny.  The evidence is slim yet it is thought cannibalism occurred in their Nineties famine.

**  Whom also has a very ambiguous nature herself.