The Fall Guys

What Hobby Is More Dangerous Than Chainsaw-Juggling? 

Lots of them, actually, especially if those practicing their favourite leisure pastime are aiming to collect a Darwin Award.  Once those desperate to remove themselves from the gene pool get going, there is very little to stop them from topping them.  Take that bloke who's blasting away with a shotgun, when it misfires.  What does he do?

     That's right, he looks down the barrel.  What he hoped to see is unclear; what he did see was a load of buckshot whizzing past his face at speed.  He survived, though given his behaviour this can only be a suspended sentence and we remain convinced that he'll get his Darwin one day.

     Let that be an introduction to "William", who loved to snowboard.  He loved it so much he felt his affection alone would suffice on the mountainside, thus scorning things like oh, proper outdoor clothing or gear in case of emergency.  Art!

     That's the somewhat forbidding aspect of Mount Rainier in Seattle, a popular destination for those seeking to commune with nature, or to snowboard.  It's a potentially dangerous location with multiple hazards even in good weather, and positively to be avoided if the weather closes in, which is why a park ranger was escorting people off the mountain when the party encountered William.

     You can guess where this is going, can't you?

William's last known location

     William couldn't.  Alone, in heavy fog, lost and astray on a mountain he'd never been on before, he walked right off the edge of a frozen waterfall and fell 4,000 feet to his death.  He had blundered so far from any tracks or trails or other thoroughfares that it was two years before his remains were found.  What you might call a what a fall waterfall.

     So, when the experienced professionals are leaving the area, it behoves you to pay attention and follow their example.

      Motley!  We're going to re-enact that chap going over Niagara Falls in a barrel and you'll just fit in.  

Okay, 'chap-ess'

Deceptive Appearances

Conrad came across a piece of Youtube footage from a bloke called Tom Cook, about a stretch of river in Yorkshire near Bolton Abbey, called "The Strid".  Art?

     If BOOJUM! was at all sensationalist, then we'd have titled this item along the lines of "KILLER KREEK IN THE MURDER MEADOW!!" except probably with a single exclamation mark.  Tom made the claim to camera that this picturesque stretch of water was, in reality, one of the most deadly bits of river in the world.

     "Why so?" I hear you ask.  "It doesn't look that deep or wide."

With puny humans for scale

     It is, however, 30 feet deep, with an extremely fast current that is also very, very turbulent, with lots of underwater rocks and overhangs and caves.  Local legend has it that if you fall in, you will die; no escape.  If you still declare a loud "Pshaw!" at that, and insist you can jump it no problem, take note of all that nice slippery moss on both banks, giving you a chance to slip before making your jump, and afterwards, too.  Tom wisely noted that dog-walkers always put their hounds on a lead when they get near the Strid.

CAUTION!  This is not a challenge!

Arecibombed

Sorry, couldn't resist it.  We did mention the world's largest radio telescope yesteryon, with a couple of shots of it's construction.  Back in August it suffered serious damage when a support cable failed, and again in November, at which point the big bowl was going to be closed down for controlled demolition, as it had become unsafe and repairing it wasn't an option.  Art?

Again with the "Goldeneye"!  What about "The X Files"?

         Whoever decided that the whole thing was unsound probably saved lives, because after the relatively minor damage to the structure in August and November, a set of support cables snapped on December First, and the telescope array came crashing down, causing enormous damage.  Art!

     Fortunately the whole site was clear of people and there were no casualties.  That's definitely it for Arecibo as a functional radio telescope, though <sad face>.  There is still the James Webb Space Telescope to come <happy face>.

Axle Folly

No!  I am not referring to "Beverley Hills Cop" nor protagonist Axel Foley, as played by Eddy Murphy.  Instead I am referring to "Transportation On The Western Front 1914 - 1918" - yes, again, be thankful I'm reading it on your behalf as it is incredibly dry and tedious stuff.

     Anyway, one of the major differences between railway wagons as constructed on the Continent, and those built by Perfidious Albion, was in lubrication.  On the poor, benighted Continent, moving parts were lubricated with oil; here in Perfidious Albion we used grease.  Art?

     There you go.  Check out the black boxes on the axles.  TOTWF bemoans the fact that British soldiers would steal axle grease from these boxes whenever they could, in order to grease and thus waterproof their boots.  If you're standing in a muddy trench for eight hours a day, for a week, believe me you want waterproof footwear.  And the wagon's not going to complain, is it? or not at least until the axle bearings seize thanks to lack of lubrication.

Finally -

Back to "Le Morte D'Arthur" again.  Look, you're just going to have to suck it up suffer my complaints, because I'm 100 pages in, which is only 12.5% in total, so there will be a lot more carping going on.

     Anyway, what I wanted to point out was that King Pellinore - and there are more kings in this novel than seems credible or possible - is loitering within a wood at one point, when he BY AN AMAZING COINCIDENCE manages to overhear two knights riding by having a good old chinwag.  BY ANOTHER AMAZING COINCIDENCE one of them just so happens to very clearly announce that he is carrying poison, which he intends to deliver to one of Arthur's knights who is both close to him and trusted, and this traitor will poison Arthur and - yeah, whatever.

     This took place 25 pages ago, and King Pell hasn't bothered to inform King Arthur about it.  Nor has anyone else, nor even the author.  Of course, it's possible that King Pellinore IS THE TRAITOR!  I'll let you know.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmm