Diss Guy's Disguise

Apologies If That's A Bit "Street" For You

Because Conrad would like to maintain the fond conception that some readers out there appreciate the language paraded about on BOOJUM! with the occasional long, obscure words we promulgate*.

     This Intro hearkens back to an article on the BBC's website about a 'spy boat' found off the British coast.  If you, like Your Humble Scribe, had a particular idea of what a spy boat looked like, prepare to be illuminated.  Art!

     I know there's nothing to impart a sense of scale here, so let me dig up one we prepared earlier.  Art!

   The lower version was found on the Irish coastline last year.  These things are known as "Wave Riders" and are used by the South Canadians and Royal Navy.  The two above, however, were definitely Not One Of Ours, and whomever they belonged to never claimed them back.  This means they are, of course, Ruffians.  Given that they cost £250,000 each, and that the instrument package attached can cost just as much, some hapless minion wearing a naval uniform was probably thrown in jail each time they got lost.  Note that they are intended to be as low-key and unobservable as possible, painted grey to match the ocean, without any kind of running lights and indeed as bare a hull as possible.

What they ought to look like

     The 2 WRs were doubtless being used to spy on Perfidious Albion's Faslane submarine base and, thanks to losing £1,000,000 worth of kit, the Ruffians are now simply using normal ships to do their sneaky-peeky work.

     Tsar Putin is undoubtedly very cross indeed that This Sceptred Isle has a couple of extremely expensive Wave Riders for free.  Thank you, Dimya**!

Nifty In The Fifties

Yes, gentle reader, we are once again taking a look at that fascinating and illuminating, not to say alluring, subject matter: pulp science fiction magazine covers.  Art!

     Actually, judging by that sticker in lower starboard, this is a wartime publication from the Forties.  Notice that the Standard Threatened Shapely Young Female has her legs out, whereas the Stern Upright WASP Male Fighter has his safely covered up.  Notice, too, that madam has her long blonde tresses out in the open, whereas Matey gets to keep his head much safer in a robust helmet.  And that alien would give Mister Freud some food for thought, as it seems to combine symbolism of a sexual nature, as well as sporting a mail hauberk.  Nothing below the waist, however.  And what's with the darts it's throwing around?  What are they loaded with or dipped in?  How effective would a dart be if it hit robust material or a metallic fabric?  What range do they have?  Are there reloads?

     And that title: "Wobblies in the Moon" - sorry but that has rather absurd political connotations since "The Wobblies" was a nickname for South Canadian's a of an extreme left-wing persuasion.

     Perhaps it was a "Red Scare" variety of story, with the dastardly - no, wait a minute, the Sinisters were allies at that time.  O I give up.  Make up your own story.

"Field Guns In France" By Colonel Neil Fraser-Tytler

The good major (as he was at the time) had revealed in various comments that he'd been a hunting, shooting and fishing chap in civilian life, and he carried this behaviour over into his wartime career, when he should have known better.  It is not the job of an officer of his rank to go prowling beyond the front lines, which is what he did in late July.  Art?

     That above in the unlovely location Trones Wood, which was the scene of an epic week-long struggle before the British captured it and the Teutons gave up trying to re-take it.  NFT decided to do a personal reconnaissance beyond it with a spade and telescope, and determined that Arrowhead Copse was empty of enemy.  Art!

     He then spotted a trench filled with unsuspecting Teutons, so he went back to the British lines, collected a few men, returned to the Copse and sent sixty rounds rapid fire into the enemy before they fled and Teuton machine-guns got turned onto the copse.  He then decided it was time to return to his normal occupation, which entailed getting his battery of guns turned on the Teuton machine-gun positions and giving them a pasting.  It's unclear if his Colonel found out about this deed, because he would probably have been quite unhappy.  "Major Tytler, as a battery commander it is not your place to go waltzing around No Man's Land and further ...".

*See?

**  Using his nickname like this realllllly annoys him.  Which is why we do it.