Well That's The Upper Storey Safe

For We Are Back On Mondegreens
You may not be familiar with quite what these are, so I shall elucidate and explicate: they are song lyrics that you misheard with hilarious comic effect.  Conrad's premier example is that of the Sex Pistols (now a bunch of pensioners), and how they sang "I wanna destroy Ponsonby -" 

Ponsonby.  The swine!

     Your Humble Scribe was certain that Ponsonby was just as the above picture, reeking of the Establishment, a cipher without personality, a toxic cog in the hideous machine, all that sort of thing.
     Well-imagined, Conrad.  Well-imagined - and WRONG.  The real lyric is "I wanna destroy passers-by," which is rather alarming for most of us, if a relief for all Ponsonbys.

He's laughing at me.  I can tell.

     I would now like to make a metaphorical 180-degree turn and introduce you to 10cc, whom at their worst would never descend to the level of the Sex Pistols at their best.  10cc were very musically accomplished, not to mention inventively wry and ironic with their lyrics.  Thus we have "The Wall Street Shuffle", which is a pun-laden shot across the bows of naked greed and commercialism, where they sing "Feel the stair-leg crumble - ".  Art?

Proof we are not raving

     A "Stair-leg" is very obviously an architectural feature that helps keep your house up.  Of that I am sure.  Er - just don't go looking for them, okay?

Very possibly a stair-leg. A dog-leg stair?

     Conrad has only just discovered that the real lyric is actually "Feel the sterling crumble," which is why the rest of the house is safe again.  Never could understand what structural support mechanisms had to do with building a pop tune.  Yes, well, let the Sterling (or as you might represent it visually £££) crumble, who cares now that we - oh hang on I live in the country of Sterling, don't I? 
     Damn you, Graham Gouldman.

King Midas.  A Gold man.  Close enough.

     Right, motley, how long can you withstand a dozen strimmers all strimming your ankles at maximum revs?

Time.  A Funny Old Thing.
It certainly is.  You can't see it, hear it, taste it (booh!), touch it or invite it out for a drink on Friday evening.  It only runs one way (even bigger boo!) and that's that.  There's no way round that fact, sometimes known as "Time's Arrow" - unidirectional only.
     Except - looking back, it seems that some scientists were mucking about with quantum states as long ago as 2017, in what the headlines at the time practically stated "FREE TARDIS FOR EVERYONE!" 

I will be first in line -

     More prosaically it transpires that scientists at Massachusetts Institute of Technology (hereafter MIT) were fiddling about with the usual array of Things That Man Was Not Meant To Know, and managed to make cold objects heat up hot objects.
     Before you go out and acquire a sonic screwdriver and bow tie, these 'objects' are atoms and molecules (chloroform in acetone solution) rather than anything macroscopic, so you're not going time-hopping anytime soon <sad face>.
     The reason I raise this topic is because, once again - will you we Hom. Sap. never learn! - scientists have been mucking about with TTMWNMTK, except these ones are Ruffians, from MITP.  Art?

Scientists ‘Reverse Time’ Using Quantum Computer

     Hmmm.  Others disagree.  Art?

"No, scientists DIDN'T just reverse time using a quantum computer"

     Mind you, that quibble comes from MIT, who might consider their thunder is being appropriated.  Oh - another view -

Russian Scientists Used a Quantum Computer to Turn Back Time

The quantum system was kicked a tiny fraction of a second backward in time.

     It seems the collective jury's opinion on this is a tad mixed, but then again this is Time - which, as I stated in the title, is a funny old thing.  Believe me, we've only begun to lower the needle, let alone begin scratching the surface of this subject.  Let me go off and see a doctor and I'll get back to you on this -
<Strategic pause for the brewing of tea and the browning of bread>

Quantum mechanics.  Functionally the same as magic.

Meanwhile, Back In The Pacific -
BOOJUM! has an occasional flirtation with strange ocean-going vessels, because what's not to like about a freaky freighter or a whimsical whaler?*  Thus we sat up and paid attention yesterday whilst mooching around the internet for Spacex pictures.  Let us introduce the "Mister Steven".  Art?

     Despite various media calling it "famous" Your Humble Scribe had never heard of it before.  And that is exactly what it looks like - a net, except being raised above a ship instead of the more normal underneath.  The idea is to capture and retrieve various bits of Spacex kit as they fall from the sky, so they can be salvaged and reused.  A splendid idea.  Once again, Mister Steven -

Not to be confused with -

- a completely different beast.

     And now - work beckons!

What It Is To Have A Retentive Memory
Not that this is any kind of boast, since Conrad's memory - which goes by the name of Steve, before you ask - is more akin to a skip with a cubic capacity of 20,000 imperial tons that is periodically churned-up, and from which random flotsam emerges.**
     Anyway, that's not what I wanted to bang on about.  I am currently half-way through Neil Dando's very interesting book (adapted from his University thesis) on how terrain in North Africa during the Second Unpleasantness affected the conduct and outcome of battles.  Art?

The tome itself.

     And therein, whilst discussing Operation Crusader and the battles for Sidi Rezegh, Ol' Nij makes mention of the 20th New Zealand Infantry Battalion.
     This sounded familiar to Your Humble Scribe.  Didn't I have the Official History of this formation?


     And indeed I do.  I've read it through once only a couple of years ago after getting it as a Christmas present, and it is perhaps time to re-read it.  I do recall some incidents from their time as an infantry battalion, before they converted to tanks.  Shall I regale you with same?
     Perhaps not today.  I do have to go and eat some lunch, for Lo!  Am I not faint with hunger?***

     Oh, I nearly forgot - strimmer chaps, you may cease to strim the motley - I'll call the ambulance.

No!  Stop!  You've had your fun - cease and desist!
O all right, carry on then.

*  A whaler is a real variety of ship, so there.
**  I say, that's rather poetic, isn't it?
*** No, you aren't, you big fat biffer <the horrible truth courtesy Mister Hand>