Eccentric? Me?

I'll Have You Know I Am The Very Model Of Probity!
Which - wash out your dirty minds! - is nothing to do with alien probes, or aliens, or probes.  Although - but no, we will get to that in a moment.
     First news of the day is that I HAVE FINISHED THE JIGSAW!  Thank heavens.  Your Humble Scribe has no internal regulator or moderator, so once begun yesterday it was Stop For Nothing; except to dash off a quick blog entry.  Art?

     Hopefully that will come out.  I am writing this at work, you see, where I cannot load up camera photographs.  Time will tell.
     Anyway, that has nothing to do with today's title.  We were talking about my eccentric bearing.

Yes, thank you, Art.

     As you should surely know by now, Conrad has a fascination with that gem of a sci-fi fillum "Forbidden Planet", which is now 63 years old <gasps in awe and wonder>.  There is no way to remake it (for any such attempt would result in a whole lot of Hollywood suits suddenly and mysteriously vanishing or dying horribly yet accidentally), so - how can we revisit it in a new and different way?

"Doctor Morbius!  You've been breeding miniature human beings here!"

     Why, by watching with Polish subtitles, of course.  This is an invaluable and entertaining method of learning another language, without getting any guide as to pronunciation of course - and is how Your Humble Scribe learned the Norwegian for "Good Luck!" which happens to be "Likke Till!" - all from watching "When Worlds Collide".  Art?

You'll need plenty of Till here, matey.

     Thus I have been watching "Zakazana Planeta", where the Krazownik Zjednoczonych Planet C57D is two years away from Earth base, heading for the great main sequence star Altair -

The Krazownik Zjednoczonych Planet C57D

     Here an aside.  If you're not a big fan of Forbidden Planet, SIT BACK DOWN!  Altair is 16 light years from Earth, and it has taken the Krazownik Zjednoczonych Planet C57D two years to get there, so it has managed to attain a speed of about 8 x C (where "C" stands for the speed of light, as typing the whole thing out is a bit time-consuming).  You'll notice that her crew has to undergo special protective force-field shielding when they decelerate below C, which is still insufficient to prevent them from feeling rough.  Going faster than light can be a bit rough on the human anatomy, one feels.
     Here an aside to the aside.  Not only did some wonderful human being spend an inordinate amount of time creating blueprints for the C57D, there are altruistic manufacturing companies out there who have model kits of it.  Art?


Yup, that's an Id Monster under the hull

     Running a couple of phrases past Mariusz at work - because he's Polish, I didn't choose him at random - made Conrad realise his pronunciation needs some work.  But we'll get there.  I may go pester Konrad (yes his real name) about what difference all those diacritical marks make.
     All perfectly normal given the wolfish wonderland that is the landscape of Conrad's brain.
     Likke Till!

THE HOGS OF EEEEEVILLL!!
Yes, I know two exclamation marks is going it rather, almost bordering on getting emotional: I wanted to make a point, you see.
     My point is that the pig is imbued with Eeeevilll.  Positively hotching with it.*  In fact it possesses such a dreadful influence that merely looking at one is enough to drive men (and some women) insane, except it has to have been killed, skinned and made into a spherical object.  Art?

One of these, actually

     <hangs head in shame>  Er - yes, I have been over on the BBC's sports pages, reading the Comments under Have Your Say, and - I say!  There is the usual torrent of gloating abuse since Manchester The United (right name?) lost a "Match".  Sorry to bombard you with complex technical phrases.  On top of that some conspiranoid loonwaffles emerged from the woodwork, alleging that, now Manchester The United are out of whatever competition it was, there's no longer any need for further matches to be fixed.  And that the BBC is shockingly biased in favour of this Manchester ballfoot team.  Oh, and that Var, whoever he is, fiddled certain results in favour of - ah - yes - one team or the other (I confess I wasn't paying all that much attention, since my eyes had begun to glaze over by then.  I feel these people must have been eating pigs, not just watching them.  I bet these are the same swivel-eyed loons making allegations about <Mister Hand redacts a 350 word screed>.
     Oinky-poinky.
            
                   Run!                                                     Hide!                                     Call a butcher!

"Impromptu"
Which is what BOOJUM! usually is, within bounds.  Of course, I cannot give away the complicated process by which these lines are made to greet your eyes,** as this would breach that injunction and bring MI5 down on my back again.
    Anyway, it means to "create something without extensive rehearsal or practice".  I suppose in one sense I've had <thinks> five and a half years of practice at this scrivel -
     Where does this word come from?  Latin, of course.  How could it not?   <mutters about zombie dead languages>.  From "In Promptu", which means "In readiness".

Steve had a brilliant idea: an impromptu bonfire!
(In his neighbour's house)***

Finally -
I only need a few lines to bump my overall total up to over the ton, which is why this last paragraph.  Since I'm on the early shift I could finish it off at home, but then I wouldn't get the sheer adrenaline rush of doing over one thousand words in a day.
     <is that enough?>
     <checks on a sheet of A4 over on Word - and it is, just.  Hooray!>



*  Wretched South Canadian spell-checker doesn't recognise a sound Scottish verb.
**  <He makes it all up - the hideous truth courtesy of Mister Hand>
***  This is very, very naughty and you should not copy Steve.