All Smoke And Needles

Before We Get Going
I had better inform you that you're only going to get this post today, and probably only once at that, since I am venturing into Gomorrah-on-the-Irwell this evening in a rare social outing for Your Humble Scribe.  I shall be going to "Big Hands" or possibly "Night and Day", which are two hostelries, and then the Peer Hat, which is apparently a music venue.  I've not been to any of these places before, so it will be a learning experience.  And the Peer Hat, whatever state it may be in, cannot be worse than that Slough of Musical Despond, the Soup Kitchen basement.

Soup Kitchen basement.  What you lack here is the smell ...

     Oo-er.  The memory lingers, along with their unbelievably horrid toilets.  Let us look at something more convivial.  Art?

The Peer Hat

      If we venture into the music bit, Conrad will undoubtedly be the oldest audience member present.  Don't feel sad, I'm used to it.  There, now we've got my social schedule out of the way, we can continue.
    <debates with self as whether or not to turn "The Umbrella Academy" on>
     Well that answers that question.  Six minutes of watching and nothing written.  It can go on pause for now.
     Where were we?  Oh yes, military rocket launcher systems of the Second Unpleasantness, beginning with the Land Mattress.  I did mention that the Teutons had an earlier-deployed rocket launcher, which had been code-named "Nebelwerfer" or "Smoke Thrower".  This was actually a jolly wheeze, as it was intended to fire gas and high-explosive rounds in addition to smoke.  Art?

                         The Launcher                                                  A shell with protective canister
     The NW was easy and cheap to manufacture, as well as being comparatively light, meaning it didn't need a 10-ton half-track to tow it around.  It could put an awful lot of firepower down in a very short time, which was a very unpleasant experience if you were on the receiving end, especially since the rounds made a horrid moaning sound in flight.
     Of course, no weapon is perfect (bar the Challenger II) and the NW had a few notable drawbacks.  For one, the ammunition was complex and expensive to make, which kind of railed against the launcher. Also, the back-blast created on launch was enormous, meaning the crew had to dig a trench to cower in as they fired the six rounds, and they couldn't simply fire all six at once, or the launcher would have gone head-over-heels. Not only that, the rockets left a long smoke trail, a kind of "Here I Am!" that meant your opposition's artillery would gleefully seize on the chance to repay you in kind.  Nor was it an accurate weapon; you aimed it at a general area and crossed yer fingerses.*

"Here We Are!"

     Their effectiveness is another debatable point.  The Eighth Army, having encountered them in North Africa, was not impressed at all, though this is perhaps a function of their being able to disperse very widely and thus avoid any great harm. The Sinisters didn't like 'em, but they had their own equivalent.
     Which is a story for another day.
     Now that we've stripped the motley of all but it's bikini briefs, let it now make a run through the gauntlet of nettle-wielding assailants!

Nettles

Speaking Of Which
Going back to "Because Science" and Kyle's scrutiny of deadly plants - and here one wonders What On Earth was going on with the Manchineel Tree that it needed to be one giant tree-shaped piece of poison? - he mentions Dendrocnide Moroides, which is thankfully only present in North Eastern Australia.  Art?

Back off, you idiot!

     This utterly unassuming plant is covered with tiny hairs that break off under the slightest pressure, most especially if you are incautious enough to brush against it.  If they stick in your skin then they release a toxin, which can cause excruciating pain for several days.

Know your enemy

     But of course it doesn't end there.  The pain will recur if you experience changes in temperature, such as having a bath or shower, for up to years.  The hairs need to be doused in a solution of dilute hydrochloric acid to treat the pain, and then removed by using hair-removal waxing strips.
     Waxing strips and acid - the cure seems almost as bad as the problem, except it's not.  Apparently the Dendrocnides sting feels like being electrocuted and burned by acid simultaneously, and anecdotally, people have killed themselves when mistakenly using these leaves in the jungle for <ahem> toilet purposes.

Your friend abroad

     Australia - home to Things That Can Kill You.

Finally -
I still need to have a shower and iron a shirt in order to look vaguely presentable this evening, and there's still 45 minutes of "The Umbrella Academy" to go, and there's about 1,200 jigsaw pieces still to put into place (though I have turned them all right-side up), so I shall have to end this here, leaving you with this:

Pen porn

     Don't forget, The Pen Is Mightier Than The Sword, just be careful to get your spaces in the right places.




*  This is not a spelling mistake, it's <thinks> argot.