HoHo Joan Miro

"Where Are The Guardia Civil?"
I wondered.  "And who are these Mossos d'Esquadra blokes?"
     For we had been four days in Barca and nary a GC to be seen.  You know, those chaps who are brave enough to wear bicorne hats as a fashion statement.  Art?
                                        
                                                  I think those are flowers.
     It turns out one is linked to the other.  Some ten years ago the Catalan government swapped out the GC in favour of their own local police force, the "Mossos d'Esquadra", which translates (allegedly) as "The Squaddies".  Hence all those cars proudly sporting this name on their sides.  Art?

Jackets, too

     Sal and I did see a section of five MdE escorting a couple of ne'er-do-wells at the airport, quite low key without any swagger or noise, yet that pair were undoubtedly in trouble.  Your Humble Scribe, being inquisitive, wondered what would happen to them.  Doubtless nothing pleasant ...
     Anyway, that's nothing to do with today's title, which refers to the very influential Catalan artist Joan Miro and the Hop-On/Hop-Off bus that Darling Daughter and I took there.  Anyone not interested in art may - carry on reading.  If I'm going to take photos and write down their names, you can jolly well stick around and peruse said text.  Art!

The first artwork you see

     This wild and groovy set is "Self Portrait" and consists of a bold graffito overlaid on an original, much earlier sketch.  Just to show that Ol' Jo could manage detailed chocolate-box art as well as wild geometrical squiggles, here's "Mont-Roig Village and Church" -

Not quite chocolate-box.

     He did a couple of very large, cheeky pieces, one a great big canvas with a single dot over to one side - 

"Landscape"

     And a set of three very large canvasses with a very long title - "Painting on a white background for the cell of a recluse" -

Very - er - reclusive.

     Now for one of his in a more familiar style - "The diamond smiles at twilight", which sounds like a Hans Zimmer score title - 

Guess which is the diamond?

     I think that's enough modern art for you at this serving, can't having you getting all blase and jaundiced about it.  So!

<loud sigh>  No, Art.  Just - no.

     Time to dangle the motley by it's braces from the church's weather-vane - in a thunderstorm, of course!

"Passbook"?
Really?  I mean, really?  
     Before we continue with the exciting world of modern Catalan art,* allow me to fall back onto one of my staple whinges, that of the MEN's Cryptic Crossword clues.  It was along the lines of "It will be waited for with interest after another year".  The answer was 'Passbook' which Conrad had never heard of, despite being of considerable vintage.  Art?

I pass.

     I needed to look it up.  It is - or was, in this era of online banking - a book detailing the deposits of a person into their bank account.  No doubt it was an example of the white heat of technology back in 1932.  Not so much today.
     Bah!

"Pride and Prejudice and Zombies" By Jane Austen and Seth Graham Smith
Sorry for the long title, although it is accurate.  I think.  I've never read the original "P&P" so I shall have to take at least part of this on trust.  I did do "Mansfield Park" for A Level English Lit, way back when, and it's a Big Skirt Novel.  The lives of minor provincial gentry during Napoleonic times.  There - now you don't need to read it.** Art?

My edition

     I am about a quarter of the way through the novel, and have found some plot holes.  SGS alleges that the dead are rising from their graves, due to the 'Strange Plague', then wandering the countryside, eating any live humans they come across.
     How is this so?  Said zombies would need to have already been infected in order to get out of their coffins, wouldn't they?  So why not merely decapitate the already-deceased before burying them?

Thus.

     Or bury them face-down?  Or just pile them in a big heap and burn them?
     The response to said zombie plague seems rather too reactive, as well.  Conrad would suggest the old French tactic of "tache d'huile", or "oil-slick", where defended localities extend their perimeter outwards to other defended localities, gradually merging together.
     Admittedly, this did not work too well in Algeria, but zombies have considerably less intellect than the FLN.
     Also, why not just build a wall around each town or village?  Or even a stout fence?

Thus

     Of course, I may be over-thinking this ...

Finally -
Your Humble Scribe feels the need for some lunch, so we shall pause here for today.  Also, I need to travel into Royton for some more bread and bodywash, and perhaps a bottle of pop for the rest of the family, despite not feeling terribly healthy.  And there is nothing more pathetic than a man with a minor illness -

How I feel.

     Of course I look a veritable picture of health and happiness, thanks to a nice tan, so I shall get no sympathy from anyone, the dastards.


*  It is so exciting!  It is!
**  Thank me later.