Your Curmudgeon Is Here

That's Me -
I'm the curmudgeon in question, and for those of you not familiar with Anglo-Saxon invective, a "curmudgeon" is "a cantankerous old white-haired git who splits hairs, drinks too much tea and insults everyone".
     "Have the elephant tranquilisers worn off already?" I hear you ask.  Well, yes, because to sedate Conrad you need Liopleurodon tranquilisers.  Art?

Ol' Lio is a pretty big beast

     HEY!  In an aside, Mars is at it's closest to Earth for the first time in 15 years, which means that SPECTRUM  and Captain Scarlet

     INFORMATION REDACTED INFORMATION REDACTED INFORMATION REDACTED

    ... Rock Snakes, a cannon firing depleted-uranium Californium-tipped rounds would serve as a sub - 

     - whoah, have you guys Redacted me again?  Look, the truth will out!

<mutters and decides to change the subject>

     Okay, okay, back on track.  "Curmudgeon" because I happen to remember how I felt before seeing "Incredibles 2", after the adverts had been playing.
     "What a load of pretentious, pompous twaddle," I recall.  "Puffing up a sound system and the cinema screen as if were able to boost your spaceship to faster than light speed and make you a cup of tea."

Tea, as it should be

     Looking back at my notes to see when I watched 'Deadpool 2', what do we find but - Art?

I like that amendment: "NOISY pretentious drivel"

     There you are - your humble scribe, consistent in his Frothing Nitric Ire, and also proof, if it were needed, of how awesome/sad I am in making notes about film trailers.
     Conrad: your Curmudgeon of choice.
     Now to see if the motley can escape from this horde of cannibal mutant oranges!*

"Plethora"
I used this word yesterday, and - being curious - wondered where it came from.  A guess before looking it up would have it's roots in either Latin or Greek, and - Greek.
     Just in case you were curious, it means "An awful lot" - no, that sounds like a collection of Abba fans, too ambiguous - "A lot".  There.  Now I'm happy.
  The root word is "Plethein", meaning "Be full", which evolved into the Latin "Plethore" and the word we all know and love** today, "Plethora".

Jenny.  Full of - mischief

More Of Cats
It is pretty much a given that cats have an unerring sense of knowing where they ought not to be, and then being there.  Jenny, above, is a case in point.  When your humble scribe is sitting scoffing buttered toast at the breakfast table, who will emerge from her cat-igloo and sneak onto said table?
     No!  Not a cannibal mutant orange.  Jenny.  She does what Darling Daughter described as her "Just a little bit closer to the bacon" approach, inching infinitesmally closer to my plate, until she gets picked up and dumped on the floor, mewling in disappointment.

Beware!  Bitey!

     Jenny also loves to get up close and personal when it's really not appropriate, as when I am twisting the tails of e-mails and performing on forms, when what I require is uninterrupted peace and quiet.  Art?

Unable to read or write but can fight with pen, and put dirty pawprints on notepad

      I'm not sure what she's thinking here - probably "What mischief can I make next?" because shortly afterwards this happened - Art?

Cannot type but will shed on your keyboard

     At this point I admitted defeat and relocated to the lounge and The Comfy Chair.
     Cats!

How Howlingly Ironic
Yesterday I inflated my traffic count by using a gratuitously click -baity title - "Tons of Sex" - which was actually about the Sexton self-propelled gun.  Do you see what I did there?***  I suppose I should prod Art awake with the electric fork -

A Sexton

     Then it occurred to me that Perfidious Albion's line of self-propelled guns of the Second Unpleasantness (and after) all had religious titles.  There was the Deacon -

Armoured truck chassis and 6 pounder anti-tank gun

     This was quite a capable beast, though not made in large numbers.  Then there was the Priest -

That beast the Priest

     So called because it seemed to have a 'pulpit'.  There was also the Bishop - Art?

Why a Bishop?  Who knows!

     Not terribly successful, it lasted until better kit arrived.  Elevation was a problem, as the gun could only be aimed to a certain height.     Lastly, we have the Abbot -

But, a Abbot

     As the title says, all the vehicles are named after men of the cloth, good Christian folk who would religiously follow the First Commandment, whereas all these bits of kit are designed and intended to BLOW SHIZZLE UP AND SCRAG PEOPLE.     Interesting, eh?
*  An idea I stole from Matt Howarth <snickers>
**  Poetic licence
***   Aren't I a stinker!