Enough Of Strife And Folly!

Although - Hmmmm ...
That may be a little premature, gentle reader, for did I not forewarn the general public - you - that today's afternoon post concerned grim reading matter which would bring profound gloom into their lives?  That's a rhetorical question because yes, I did.
     It seems to have made people click on the link just to see what horrors and miseries your humble scribe was going to inflict upon them.  A whole lot of stuff about the First Unpleasantness, is what.  Really, Hom. Sap. can be most peculiar.

Or, if they are Chris Walken, scary

     Anyway, first of all I would like to lead with a quote from "The Devil's Dictionary" by Ambrose Gwinnet "Bitter" Bierce, whose body has never been found.

"Immaculate" adj.: Not as yet spotted by the police.

     Well, it made me laugh.  And no, it has no connection with anything preceding or following it.
     
Almost No Strife And Folly
Here's a thing.  Model manufacturers are very guilty indeed of making models of tanks or aircraft that only got to a single prototype stage, or were merely on the drawing board.  Bad model manufacturers!  Naughty model manufacturers!  No biscuit for you!
     Naturally this means wargamers can thus field squadrons of jet aircraft that never actually flew in the Second Unpleasantness, or companies of tanks where only one ever existed.  How a set of rules accomodates this I don't know.  Art?

Seriously - are those flying saucers?

     Bonkers cover art, you might think, and there's no human beings present to show scale either.  I see people have bought these and made them up with a speculative paint scheme.  Art?

Nice paintwork

     You see, there were only ever 2 'Maus' produced - that's the smaller tank in the above pictures, and "smaller" is relative, because it came in at 188 tons.  So, no cracks about the Teutons not having a sense of humour, as 'Maus' is Teuton for 'Mouse'.  The 'Ratte' was a drawing-board tank projected to weigh 1,000 tons, mounting a battleship gun turret.  Oh, and it's own plumbed-in lavatory system.  It would have destroyed any road surface it travelled on, not to mention any bridges it needed to cross, and heaven alone knows what the miles per gallon would have been.  More Teuton humour, which you probably saw coming: 'Ratte' meaning 'Rat', as in that small and inconspicuous creature.

With puny humans for scale

     I really don't know how I got onto the subject of near-fictional panzers of the Second Unpleasantness - but it fulfills a charter criteria.

     Don't worry, I've not forgotten about the motley, I'm just lulling it into a false sense of security <snickers evilly>

The Feel Good Festival
Thankfully it was yesterday, because today has been miserably and depressingly wet - in other words, the Great British Summer has finally arrived.
  When I got there, a band had just started playing, and I couldn't get their name properly, mainly because I was standing too far back to hear the MC properly.  Art?

     Oh!  Er - that's my late lunch, a Chicken Pad Thai, which I wolfed down and jolly nice it was too.  However, the band, Art?

Damn you, man in the blue coat!

     What were they called - Banner?  No, Vanner?  Eventually, when I checked the website, it came out to be 'VALA'.  They were okay.  Next up was a band called 'Last Race Home', who were pretty good; Art?

     I'd never heard of them, which doesn't amount to much.  Guitar, rhythm guitar, bass, drums and - for a change - trumpet, and "How Close" was their best song of the set.  I liked them so much I bought their CD after the show.
     Then I went and had an excellent burger from What's Your Beef - 'beefspoke burgers' - which I scoffed so quickly I never thought to get a photo.  Hey, I was hungry!

Also have a fantastic wrapper for their burgers

     Next up was Emily Wraye, whom I expected to sit on a stool in a dress and strum an acoustic guitar, to judge from the website photo and description:  Rolling Stone's Top 10 Country Artists.  Art?

Very twee, eh?

     Not a bit of it!  She looked more like a biker chick, clad in black leathers and with songs that were more rock and roll than country.  Art?

     As all the acts pointed out, this whole festival was put on for free by Rochdale Council - hoorah for Rochdale Council! - and I only regret not being able to stay the course, as my tired old legs were giving out by the time of Emily's set.  So I went home.

     There you go!  If not quite sweetness and light, at least a touch of saccharin and infra-red.

Chin-chin!