Some Con Fusion

Ha!  Do You See - Actually I Need To Explain
Because not everyone is au fait with nuclear weapons and fissionable isotopes.  Okay, yesterday I was describing, in my own inimitable way - after all, who wants to replicate a stream-of-consciousness babble from an alien wierdo about zombies and atom bombs? - how I would make a very bad Dalek.  'Bad' in the sense of 'confusing one's superiors and sowing anarchy wherever one treads by intent and accident both'.*

Conrad not sure how Zeg's "fire stick" got past the comic censor ...

     It's a long story, but my Line Manager Dalek made a bit of a snitch-up and got sentenced to the Plutonium Mines, which is a big mistake.  Plutonium, you see, does NOT occur naturally because it's created from other elements, so - you cannot mine for it.  I realise not many people out there will have picked up on this error, but it haunts me and I had to confess.
     Thus you have this evening's title.
     Damn it.  I have just discovered a fan-fiction comic strip where Star Trek: The Next Generation does a crossover with Doctor Who, of the Matt Smith era.
     What are these people THINKING!  You cannot mix graphic fiction with reality!  It does not compute, although the painted artwork is pretty good.
     Okay, time to roll the motley naked in poison ivy and then tie it's hands behind it's back!

For your instruction.
"Hog Peanut"?  well well, who knew.

(Potential) Darwin Award Winners
In case you are unaware, these are awards that honour people so stupid that they remove themselves from the gene pool, thus allowing humanity to march forward.  Check out the website for some unbelievable yet true stories:

http://www.darwinawards.com/

     I am going to gift you one I came across whilst trawling the internet for "Strange ships" and this one is indeed strange.  Also disturbing.  Art?

Right.  Watertight.

     This thing was put together from offcuts of insulating foam, which was glued into place.  The two heroes/idiots/drunks who built it certainly put their money (all of £11) where their mouths were and paddled it out to sea, where they proceeded to acquire a fair amount of fish whilst angling, probably because the fish were all swimming along with their mouths open at such a display of human stupidity.
     It didn't sink - surprise! - but since it was paddled by two oars, and they broke an oar, they rang the Coastguard for a  tow to shore.  Because neither had a lifejacket and one couldn't swim.
     The event took place in 2015 and I haven't Googled to see if the gimboid shipbuilders are still alive.  Since this was the second seafaring Darwin Award attempt for one of them, I don't hold out much hope.

If A Ram And A Priest Had An Affair -
 - then their offspring would be a Kangaroo.  Yes, really.  Firstly, wash out your filthy minds!  For the Ram and Priest I speak of are armoured vehicles of the Second Unpleasantness, as is the Kangaroo, and nothing to do with intimate congress.
     Okay, first we need the Ram.  Art?

Thus

     Although the British Americans made 2,000 of these, they never saw action as a gun tank, since the Sherman did a better all-round job. 
     Then we come to the Priest, and again we shall prod Art into action.  Art!

A gun on the run

     These were tank chassis mounting a howitzer, providing mobile fire support for Allied units.  Those in British service were eventually replaced by towed guns, which left a lot of spare hulls, so -

The Kangaroo

     The Ram turret was removed, or the Priest's front gap filled in, and they were used as transports for infantry travelling to or on the battlefield, and a great improvement on anything else they were too.  They were vulnerable to overhead spalling but they would shrug off anything except high-velocity large-calibre anti-tank rounds, which would in any case be directed at any tanks in the vicinity.
     Ah, the technical ingenuity of Perfidious Albion at work!

Finally -
I don't know if I can get this to work, as the phone-laptop interface has been more problematic than our database at the office, but let's have a go - Art?

No comment from Conrad

*  I know Daleks don't 'tread'; this is what we in the trade call 'poetic licence' and it grants me an out.  So there.