Gene Genie

Less About David Bowie -
 - than Atomic Rooster.  Whom you might be forgiven for not knowing, as they are but a minor footnote in the annals of rock, and Conrad confesses he's not heard any of their stuff even if he knows their name.
     Okay, I am remedying that at this very moment, with Youtube playing "Devil's Answer" in the background.  Don't complain, it could have been "Spirit In The Sky".

The answer to the Devil's Question

     Anyway, back to that Genie.  We are not talking about vapourous spirits that emerge out of old brass fitments when agitated by the human hand.  Oh no.  What we mean here is a nuclear-armed rocket intended to shoot down/blow up/waltz off this mortal coil* invading fleets of Sinister bombers.  The AIR-2 Genie, as mentioned in yesterday's post, was a 1.5 kiloton yield rocket with a range of several miles, which would be fired at the target whilst the pilot responsible crossed his fingers and headed for home at high-speed.  Art?

The beast on it's bed

     The rather remarkable thing about Genie is her light brown hair that it was used in a live-fire demonstration of how gullible/brave/daft* human beings could be, because - forsooth, what is this!  Naught but a concatenation of warm bodies assembled 4 miles beneath the detonation of a Genie air-to-air rocket.  That's right, a group of VOLUNTEERS stood under the detonation of a nuclear warhead.  Art?

"Hi Mom!"

     Although they cringed a bit when the sonic shock wave washed o'er them, all 5 got by just fine.  Including the cameraman, for those who are wondering who took the picture.  Being four miles downtrack from an atomic foofoodilly going BANG is sufficient to preserve one's bones, especially if the warhead is in the Rather Pathetically Small Class That Dare Not Compare Itself Versus The Big Boys Class.
     Now, time to sit the motley down, present it with a cup of tea and deploy the scones and strawberry jam!**

But Sharks ARE Our Friends!
As you may be aware, Conrad ploughs a lonely furrow in trying to rehabilitate the shark's reputation, which is an uphill struggle I can tell you.  No sooner does the collective memory of "Jaws" begin to fade, than along comes "Sharknado" and Our Friends The Sharks are back in the doghouse.***

Sorry, couldn't resist

     So it was with some delight that I read about a Great White Shark (Carcharodon Carcharias) whom is so friendly to humans that he wants to help law enforcement.  Art?

No, no, the boat is smaller than the shark.  Think of it that way.

     He provided some back-up for the police, who were checking the legality of various boat owners.  You can guess how the conversations opened -
POLITE OCKER POLICEMAN     "Good afternoon, sir.  Can we see your licence and insurance documentation?"
ANGRY AND SHIFTY BOAT-OWNER: "Or what?  What right do you have?  I'm in international waters!  How -"
POLITE POLICEMAN NARROWS EYES AND GESTURES BEHIND HIS BOAT
SUDDENLY COMPLIANT BOAT-OWNER (WHO IS STILL A BIT SHIFTY): "Right you are!"

One day, perhaps.  A man can dream, can't he?

     This will doubtless be undone shortly when Sharknado #7 comes out.^

A Guide To Our Glossary
If you have been reading the blog for any length of time, then you know we have our own unique take on the English language, which includes nicknames for other countries.  These are not always obviously related to the real world, so I occasionally add a list for your education and amusement.  Steve?

M8's:  The French, because we're such good friends now (say it aloud for it to make sense)
Ockers: the Australians
The Polite Australians:  The New Zealanders
South Canadians: Americans (Conrad likes to pretend the American Revolution DID NOT HAPPEN)
British Americans: Canadians.  A smidgeon of historical truth behind this.
Teutons: the Germans
Sinisters: the Soviets
Ruffians: the Russians (after their behaviour at Euro 2012)
Norks:  Norwegians (if said with a smile)
Norks: North Koreans (if said with a sneer)
Populous Dictatorship:  Communist China
Perfidious Albion OR The Pond/Ice-rink/Garden of Eden:  Britain, obviously

     And there you have it.

The Sanjak of Novi Pazar.  We've not insulted them, yet, but we'll get around to it.

*  Pick least schmaltzy option
**  Radioactive scones and toxic strawberries
***  Metaphorically only.
^  I was joking, but this is a real thing <sighs>