Crossword Cross

Or, A Matter Of Time
Conrad is ANGRY!  Well, angrier than usual.  As you surely know by now, your humble scribe cannot resist a Cryptic Crossword, to the point that, after the Zombie Apocalypse, the collapse of civilisation and an absence of anaesthetics, he could happily undergo major surgery with no more than a Cryptic Crossword to compensate.

Let's see - "Undead walker (6 letters)"

     However, one does expect the clues to be set in at least the present century.  Here's a couple from the MEN's Friday edition:
     "Upset to make light of (5)"
     You won't get the answer, so let me tell you it was "Spill".  Yes, you may well furrow your brow and look askance.  A spill was a taper or fuse lit by a naked flame.  Art?

Your fill of spills

     The thing is, these went out of use back in the 18th Century.  It took a lot of Googling around to come up with the above image.  Admit it, you've never heard of 'spills' in this context before, have you?
     Nor is that all.  Next cause for my caustic constitution, the clue is "The source of a writer's inspiration (6)" and once again you won't get this one so I shall tell you - "Inkpot".
     Excuse me?  Conrad is exceptional in that he still uses fountain pens, and a quill pen (which is about as exceptional as you can get nowadays) and even I think of them as 'bottles of ink'.  Art?

I have one somewhere

     My point is, if I can't get it, what chance do you have?
     Bah!

Armageddon't
I shouldn't pick on this film, as it's kind of low-hanging fruit, except that's never stopped me before.*  
     Okay, let me put up one of the quotes you get near the beginning of the fillum.  Steve?

Dan: [the President asks about the size of the asteroid] lt's the size of Texas, Mr President.

President: Dan, we didn't see this thing coming?

Dan: Well, our object collison budget's a million dollars, that allows us to track about 3% of the sky, and beg'n your pardon sir, but it's a big-ass sky.

     Well, no arguing that it's an <ahem> big-ass sky.  Take note of what I've emboldened.  Now, can we have a map of Texas?  Art -

For scale

     Now, for your information, Texas is about 770 miles across.** The biggest asteroid in the Solar System is Ceres, and it was picked up in 1802 by telescope.  Art?

Ceres to scale

     In other words, after a gap of 2 centuries, our ability to detect objects the size of Texas has gone backwards, and gone backwards so badly that we only get 18 days warning before it hits.
     O rlly?
     'Armageddon' the gift that keeps on giving.

Daily Dog Diary
This entry is not so much for you out there, gentle readers, because you may very well detest dogs or think they ought to be kept in kennels.  Not so at The Mansion.  These are proof that Edna is getting attention and exercise, for parties not present.***

      So!  We have the scorching afternoon weather of yesteryon, where we ventured up the collection of potholes strung together that laughingly calls itself "Thornham Old Road".  Art?

Investigating a smell

     Followed by the return to traditional British summer weather this morning.  Art?

     There was a distinct lack of other dog walkers, not to mention visitors to the park.  And, as proof that her dog bed is out of the wash and dry and back in pole position - Art?

Finally -
Back to the comic genius that was Buster Keaton.  It's a little-known fact that he served in the South Canadian army in France during the First Unpleasantness, in the 40th Division.  Art?

Buster's default expression

     Typically, he formed a troupe of entertainers who performed for various South Canadian regiments, where he developed a snake-charming act with a set of link sausages that became famed across the land.  I'd never heard of this until chasing up his wartime service:  I wonder if there's film of it anywhere?  I may try and track this down on Youtube after posting, and if I find it you will surely hear of it.

Really Finally -
I have found that the Google Image search term "Strange Ship" is a fruitful term indeed, and the trouble with using it as the final piece in a post is that one always wants to go a bit further and find out more about these vessels, which is not the done thing when you've got a word count and deadline to fit in.  Anyway, Art?

The Neptune Despina

     This ship is designed to carry out inspection, maintenance and repair work in very deep waters across the globe.  So now you know!

* I am so evil.  Tee hee.
**  None of that metric nonsense here.
***  Mainly because they're swanning off around the Med on a cruise.