I Am Going To Hit You With A Pole

Only Half-Literally
No!  Your humble scribe is not going to come round and beat you with an iron bar.  I am talking of Poles the people, and specifically those who wore airplanes with guns during the early part of the Second Unpleasantness.  
     Yes, we are back to the Battle of Britain.  What can I say, it's an interesting area of history and the youth of today need a bit of background on it.  They probably fondly imagine that it was fought in 1847 between the Kingdom of Antioch and Hereward the Wake.  Art?

Hmmm.  Doughty Hereward in action, eh?  We'll let it stand

     Yesterday I recalled an hilarious scene in the film "The Battle of Britain", about the Polish pilots gleefully ignoring orders to intercept Teuton bombers.
     Well, it's based on a real event, although TBOB has rather - er - Hollywoodised it.  The truth is that Flying Officer Ludwik Paszkiewicz went after a Teuton aircraft, against orders, whilst on a training flight.  He shot it down.  His commander, Squadron Leader Skellet, tore a strip off him - officially - when they landed, then took him to one side and congratulated him - unofficially.  And then recommended that the whole squadron (Number 303) go operational, which they did.

If they're smiling, someone else just had a very bad day indeed.

     There is more to make from this, but I won't hit you with too much at once; you might protest at being smitten with Poles.

The Kingdom of Antioch - a real thing.

          Well, that's the Intro over, let's proceed to throw the motley into a pool of molten <thinks> honey!

Don't Laugh At Burnt Honey
There I was Friday night, making sandwiches for the Crisis Point event taking place the next day, whilst some honey/water mixture was reducing on the hob.  I planned to pour this over my Pecan and Honey Loaf (it's a cake, I don't know why the insist on calling it a loaf) when reduced a bit.  Art?

The intent

     Since I had my back to the hob I only noticed when something had gone wrong thanks to the pungent burning smell, and because I have NO sense of smell it had to be bad.  Art?

The reality

     That's not my pan, by the way: I didn't dare hang around getting my phone to take a picture thanks to the smell.
     So if that pool the motley's in overcooks -

How Is This Man Still Alive?
I speak of Colin Furze, the chap who comes up with bizarre and dangerous inventions whilst claiming not to be an engineer.  No, he's not, he's maintaining the great British tradition of inventors who are very nearly round the twist and who don't have far to go to get there.  Art?

Words are not enough.

      Colin's aim was to create an artefact that flew, which it did.  The two contra-rotating propellors prevent or reduce instability and by leaning in one direction Colin could persuade his device to move across ground whilst be a couple of feet above it.

      However.  You thought flying into the jaws of death with the RAF was perilous?  Note the utter lack of protection for Colin's legs, and just how close those flashing blades of death are to his legs.  Note, too, that Colin's safety gear amounts to a 'pair of trainers and jeans. You can't see his madly grinning face, but be reassured by me that he isn't even wearing goggles, let alone a helmet.

But he does have a tie!

     - which makes it alright?  One of these days, Colin, one of these days ...

Meet The Freet
Here a little understanding of English dialect is needed.  "Freet"means a superstitious practice, or a belief in omens, good or bad.
     I am referring to that positively eeeevil advert for Mattesson's disgusting Fridge Raiders, which (with justice) I have described as "tumours in a bag".  Art?

They make this look appetising

     One wonders what the advertising agency staff had been smoking, drinking or snorting to imagine that the images that follow would make people crave or even like their manky mince morsels.  Art?

     WHAT WERE THEY THINKING!
     'Ah yes let us harness people's deep-seated fears and insecurities about the hideous facade that might lie beneath other's exteriors and exploit the existential angst thereof, and it'll be a right larf, innit.'
     Oh - hang on, here's a clue.  The post-advert credits sequence not shown on screen, but which is present on the reference version, says "Advertising concept and storyboarding by First Bus".
     That explains everything!

A First Bus spokesdemon.
See - everything!