You Know How I Feel -

About The KILLER EEL!
Worried, frankly, is how I feel.  They doubtless harbour a millenia-long grudge against humans because you we turned them into jellied versions and then ate them, although having tried jellied eel once I am not in any hurry to repeat the experiment.  Art?

Large.  So you can get the full flavour.

     Probably as delicious as lutefisk is.  Not only that, there are so many different varieties of eels out there, simply thirsting (can a fish be thirsty?) to do you us in, and in the most gruesome way possible.  Art?

The warm-up

     After this one had bitten off a delicious fresh calamari tentacle, the octopus got away. Feeling cheated, hungry and aggressive, the eel then went for the cameraman, who rapidly learned that you can swim backwards underwater.  Nor is this all.  O no!  Art?

A Lamprey

     This thing is basically a swimming set of teeth with an appetite attached.  They are only supposed to attack you humans if starving, which you can believe if you wish.  Me, I'd rather assume they are starving by default and give them a wide berth.  After all, they are merely one of a subset of KILLER EELS!
     Now that we are up to speed on the perils of suddenly finding a moray in your bathtub, I think we can progress.  Let's see what happens when you drop the motley into a swimming pool filled with liquid mercury!

As One Thing Follows Another ...
There I was, looking for an image where there was a swimming pool full of liquid mercury, or even a bathtub, and could I find one?  I could not!
     There are a few reasons for this.  First off, mercury is pricey, about £15 per pint.  Given that a large backyard pool would contain about, 400,000 pints, that means filling it would cost you well over £6 million.

Or this, 6 times over

     A bathtub would be much easier to fill, yet it would still cost you about £2,200 (for a 140 pint capacity bath tub), so nothing to sniff at, either.  The real problem would be mass, since you're talking nearly a ton of mercury in that bath and if it's on the second floor, as with most houses here in the Pond of Eden -

Where it was!

     I think you're swimming pool would need specially-reinforced walls and bottom, because it's going to be holding over 2,500 tons of the silver liquid.

"The Great Martian War 1913 - 1917"
Conrad had not heard of this film until it was suggested by Degsy (he knows me so well), and a worthwhile recommendation it was, too.  It was done as mockumentary by the History Channel back in 2013, when they still made the occasional proper program.
     The central premise is that the War of the Worlds, as envisaged by HG Wells, takes place in 1913 directly before the outbreak of the First Unpleasantness.  

Thus

     So, instead of being beastly to each other, humans must band together to fight the eeeevil alien invaders, who have landed by missile from Mars.  There are several different types of Martian war-machine in operation.  Which see - Art?

A 'Heron' in the background, an 'Iron Spider' in the foreground

     It's rather well done, although they do mix and match the authentic clips a bit so that weapons from much later in the real thing end up being used in 1914.  A minor quibble, anyway, and the whole thing is a really interesting conceit.
     Just you wait.  In one hundred year's time some swivel-eye conspiranoid loonwaffle will dig this film up and loudly proclaim "See!  See!  This is what really happened in 1913!"

A Moment's Silence, Please -
For the late Ken Dodd.  I may be jumping the gun a little here, but nobody's come out with horrid allegations about him whilst he was alive, nor in the days since he ambled off this mortal coil.  Art?

Underplayed and restrained
(for him, anyway)

     One of his signature rhetorical openings was to begin an humourous aphorism by saying "By Jove, Missus -" and then leading into something spectacularly silly.  I mention this because 'Jove' is an alternative name for 'Jupiter', meaning the Big Dog in Roman mythology, and the largest planet in the Solar System.  Art?

Featuring the Great Red Spot

     After all, if we've already had Mars, and Mercury, why not Jupiter?