The Flowers Of EEEEvil

NO!
This is nothing to do with that fearful French poseur Rimbaud and his poetry collection "Fleurs du Mal", which tends to get translated as "Flowers of Evil", but which Conrad (because I am a perverse rascal) tends to transpose to "Flowers of Vile" or even, for the coeliacs amongst us, "Flours of Evil".
     Let me pose the question: when is a bomb not quite a bomb, yet more than a blunt instrument?
     When it's 'Violet Club', of course.  Art?

The bits of the beast

     To recap a little:  this was developed by Perfidious Albion as a political lever, rather than a club.  We simply had to have thermonuclear weapons, you see, in order to sit at the big boy's table, but since it would take ages to develop same, we built the Violet Club as a stopgap.  One of it's titles was, indeed 'Interim Megaton Weapon', which is far less euphonious than 'Violet Club', if a bit more descriptive.
     Does it do what it says on the tin? 
     Er - no.   The calculated yield for a VC was in the order or 0.5 Mt, or 500 Kt if you like, which is about the upper limit, as we now know, of a purely fission weapon.  You want bigger than that, then you need MUCH bigger aircraft, missiles, silos, etcetera.  More Art!

To Russia with Violets.  Or Violence.

     The ungrateful RAF, those ingrate pikers, quibbled about the bomb's actual yield, which turned out to be 'only' 400 Kt, which is definitely not a megaton, although if you were on the receiving end of one such bucket of instant sunshine I suppose the point would be moot. 
     I did make the point yesterday that the VC was rather shoddily designed, to the point that the RAF were very, very nervous about handling them, storing them, maintaining them and even flying with them.
     Enough of fission-powered mayhem!  Let us drag the motley through a hedge and begin!


Why You Ought To Be Glad You're Not On Fyre
Yes, that's how it's spelled, "y" not "I" because we're talking about the appalling debacle that was the Fyre Music Festival.  I suppose the title ought to be past tense, because if you were there in the past, My! would you have been tense.
  Art?

The luxury of - squalor?

     If you remember, BOOJUM! went gloating, oozing with Schedenfreude, about this fiasco in July last year, when the founder went on trial for fraud.  Well, he's just been sentenced; apparently he was lying and deceiving investors from the start.  Let me append a link to a telling memoir by someone brought in to act as 'Talent Liaison' for the event:

 https://www.thecut.com/2017/04/fyre-festival-exumas-bahamas-disaster.html


     If you wish, go and look at the blog for 2nd July 2017, which has more on this festival farrago.


Damn You, TIK!
Damn you all to hell, you maniacs, you blew it - oh, no, sorry, that's the end of "Planet of the Apes", isn't it?
     Sorry, it can be hard to make sense, what with that party going on in my head 24/7.  Okay, Art?

Meet TIK

     Meet TIK.  No, I haven't found out what the name means nor where it comes from.  He does Youtube presentations on military history, which tend to be rather iconoclastic, overturning perceived wisdom about events.  I am condemning him because I spent 47 minutes watching his talk on the opening stages of "Operation Barbarossa" and why the Red Army did so poorly to begin with.
     "But Conrad!" I hear you quail, "you are now so much better-informed than you were!  How is this a bad thing?"
     Because I only intended to look at it for all of 5 minutes, is why!


     This is worryingly similar to the "Damn You, BBC!" phenomenon, wherein the Beeb always has a plethora of interesting links, articles and features first thing of a workday morning - WHEN I DON'T HAVE TIME TO READ THEM!
     Proof, were it needed, that the universe is conspiring against me.

The enemy

     More proof: the digital clock on my laptop wasn't updating last night, so it's a good job (you know, being a dinosaur and all that) I wear a watch, since 22:49 lasted for at least 20 minutes.


The Razzies
Or, if you want to be formal, The Raspberries.  These are the awards presented, not for the rather boring and self-laudatory 'Best' category as with the Oscars, but the 'Worst' category.  I believe some recipients have enough good humour to actually turn up and accept them - Paul Verhoeven and Sandra Bullock take a bow.  Art?

Sought by - none

     This year they had in their sights the execrable "Emoji Movie", which is pretty fair game as far as your humble scribe is concerned.  Conrad hates mobile phones to begin with, so anything that celebrates the Devil Box and it's sinister applications is automatically on a loser.  Art?

The enemy's gimboid visage

     And NO! I'm not posting a picture of the film.  The discouraging thing is that this steaming pile of rhubarb-fodder cost $55 million yet took in $200 million.  There is no hope for humanity.*


Speaking Of Bad Films -
I don't recall seeing a list of Mark Kermode's "Top 10" and "Bottom 10" in terms of films over on Twitter.  These are always worth a look, as he provides excoriating reviews of those cinematic excursions he does not approve of.  Here is his take on "Gods of Egypt"


http://www.bbc.co.uk/blogs/markkermode/entries/e7b821e4-3367-4f2a-bd3c-0571c9fbf820


     - which makes him one of the "diseased vultures" the film's director (Alex Proyas) railed against.  Hint to Mr. Proyas for future reference:  if you want good reviews from the film critics, it is best to avoid slagging them off in the first place.

Goods of Egypt***

    
     And there, having broken the ton ( i.e. hit over 1,000 words) I shall leave it for today.  Oh, except for -

Mr. Kermode a big fan of these chaps, as am I

*  Especially not after I take over, when owning or using or even thinking about a mobile phone will instantly earn you a one-way trip to the uranium mines.**
**  Yes, "thinking" - there is a Telepathy Helmet being tested at DARPA even now.  Or there was.  It seems to have mysteriously vanished from inventory, though ...
***   Do you see what - Oh you do.