An Holistic Ballistic

Missiles!
That is what we are about today, yet not the ICBM version which by inference from the title, will finish off Hom. Sap.  If the ICBMs of all concerned are in flight, your the planet has about 72 hours left.
     Which is altogether far too gloomy!
     For some:  it is the 13th, after all.
     Anyway, after a shockingly short Intro, let us anon, to the main course.

What we ain't talking about: a Titan

Perfidious Caledon
To those of you not thoroughly acquainted with the Latin nominations for this sceptred isle, this means Scotland, where even the softies are hard.
     This is going to take a bit of explaining, but bear with me - after all, it's not as if you have to pay for this stuff, is it?*
     Okay, cast your mind back to 2015.  Even better, if you happen to know a certain Doctor John Smith -

Yeah, that's the one

     Conrad was perusing his "The History of the Fifty First (Highland) Division" when he noticed an omission: no index.  So I made one of my own, just out of sheer perversity and because I could.  It took ages!  and breaks down into Units, Officers, Places, Weapons and Prisoners, and until yesterday I hadn't looked at it since creating the thing.
     Enter - "Out Of The Trenches" and Indy Neidell.  Art?

Well worth watching

     In one Comments section a commentator mentions one of his distant relatives being in a mortar unit during the First Unpleasantness, and your humble scribe pitched in with a couple of anecdotes.  This is because there aren't a whole lot of memoirs about the trench mortar batteries (known at the time as the 'Stokes Gun').  Art?

Note futuristic headwear

     Which is because the TMBs were small units, a fact that does not lend itself to volumes of reminiscence.  Anyway, I betook my 51st Division index, and noticed an entry for page 97 (Naval and Military Press 1920 edition), which bears repetition.  Here goes:

 

   "One one occasion over 1200 rounds of Stokes mortar bombs were fired in one day by one light trench-mortar battery.  It soon transpired that these bombardments produced very little retaliation from the enemy.  It was therefore felt that we were in a position really to bully him and make his life a burden to him.  The bombardments therefore became more frequent than ever, and he was unmercifully harassed day after day to the great delight of the troops."

     Let us be clear here - that's to the great delight of the Highland troops.  Since the unfortunate Teutons were on the receiving end of 5 1/2 tons of mortar bombs from that one battery on a single occasion, they were unlikely to be feeling any delight whatsoever.
          There you go - the reason for today's title.  And a caution not to pick on the Scots.

The reason why

Shuffle Off -
As you may already be aware, Conrad is a creature of habit and routine, and his mind runs on well-grooved tracks.  Hence, on playing "Born in the Echoes", your modest artisan was surprised when a track from "Surrender" came on.
     'I must have changed CDs with the remote,' I told myself (aloud, because I was alone with nobody to frighten).  Art?

No, Art, no.

     <sound of electric cattle-prod being warmed up>

      - excuse me whilst I administer today's lesson to our sub-human sloven.  Art, come here and stand still, will you? 
     I should explain that both CDs are by The Chemical Brothers, in order to show you how hip I am.  Now, Art?

Better.

     Then, in the kitchen I started playing "Excitable Boy", only for track 13 to start playing instead of the opener, "When Johnny Strikes Up The Band".  A real WoE moment.** I realised that I had selected the 'Shuffle' option by mistake whilst the I-pod was docked, and this function can't be turned off unless you re-dock and deselect it.
     Technology: great when it works.
     Yes, this is rather a tempest in a teapot in terms of content, I just felt like sharing it with you, so you can feel my pain.

'Eschatology'
As often happens, this word happened to pop into my idle mind yesterday, whilst I should have been thinking about something sensible instead.***
     "I wonder what it means?" I mused.  No reply from Mister Hand, so I looked it up.
     Ah.  Art?

Spot on the money, actually

     It's a branch of theology that deals with death and what you humans are destined for come judgement day, so the above image is actually quite correct.  In other words, what Conrad has been burbling on about when referring to the impending zombie apocalypse, thermonuclear war and alien invasions is actually eschatological speculation.

     
*  Not that there's much competition from other bloggers writing arbitrary nonsensical froth about zombie and tanks
**  "What On Earth" because we cherish our SFW status.
***  Probably.