The King

Well - Kind Of
I may be stretching the point a bit here, but - you don't have to pay to read this, do you?  So don't whinge, it's most unbecoming.
     When I say "King" I am referring to the image of a ruler prior to (I think) George II, as he was the last king of Perfidious Albion to fight in battle.*  Since us treacherous island folk always win our battles my criteria don't need to go beyond that.
     "What is he going on about now?" I hear you jabber.  "For breakfast is waiting."
     Tanks.  Your larks-tongues-in-aspic-on-toast can just wait!
     I have of late gone on about the Centurion tank, which design is sixty years old yet still capable of handing out a right shoeing to opponents on the battlefield.  You are probably unaware of a complementary tank design that went into service alongside the Centurion:  the Conqueror.  Art?

Art!

     I really must apologise for Art, once again.  At least it's not a picture of Mara Corday in a swimsuit.  Allow me a minute to get the electric cattle-prod -

More like it!

     This hulking great brute went into service in the British Army of the Rhine between 1955 and 1966, when the up-gunned Centurion with the L7 105 mm** rendered it obsolete.
     The idea behind the Conqueror was simply this: KILL TANKS!  Principally the JS III, but any other tank manned by the Sinister Red hordes would do.

The offending article

     The Conqueror mounted a 120 mm*** gun firing an APDS round that would turn anything it hit into a metallic Swiss cheese, and it was deployed in limited numbers in Germany, to provide heavy metal support for the general-purpose Centurion.
     However!  It never saw action.  Not a shot fired in anger.  Commie wimps.

It seems incongruous to say it, but - combat virgin

     I believe that Bovington Tank Museum had 2 drivable Conquerors on strength, one of which lacked a turret.  As part of a mock battle, the turreted one would be driven behind a building, an explosion would sound and the same tank would appear, minus it's turret.
     Perhaps you had to be there ...
     What's that?  I beg your pardon!  You thought <Conrad is already sat down or he would fall down> that this blog would be about Elvis Presley?  ELVIS PRESLEY^?!  Dear Dog Buns, you really are astray on the internet, aren't you?
     Right, time to poke the motley's finger into the light socket and watch the results!
          Oh.  The fuse has gone.  Excuse me whilst I stumble over the motley's scorched and twitching carcass living body honestly -

Oh Boy! A New Conspiracy Theory!
This is one to cherish.  As you should surely know by now, Conrad hates all sports, but is happy to wallow in the bilious invective hurled by fans on the BBC 'Have Your Say' pages on their sports website.  Last night I came across the alleged "Hot and cold balls" conspiracy theory.
     No!  Wash out your dirty minds - these are balls used in drawing teams to play the ballfoot game against each other. 

     This is supposedly a random selection, but the conspiracy theory is that these balls are put in a freezer or atop a radiator before being placed in the bag.  That way the picker can decide which balls to select.
     No way to prove any of this, of course - just like all the best conspiracy theories.

Finally -
Back to the end of the world!  Here we revisit "On The Beach", and the alleged fatal effects of fallout.  Well, given that Nevil Shute wrote the novel in 1957, when the effects of radioactive fallout were not that well understood, you can allow him a little wriggle room.  The novel (though not, if I recall correctly, the films) mention that the atomic arsenals used in anger were all cobalt-salted.

Cobalt and blue - very apt 

      Here an aside.  "Salted" when applied to a Nuc - er - to a foofoodilly, means that an additional element has been added to the device, to increase the level of radioactive fallout.  Cobalt remains lethally radioactive for 5 years, so the hapless survivors of the Third Unpleasantness in OTB, a year after war in the Northern Hemisphere, are still out of luck.  According to the novel - because I strongly suspect that all the atmospheric contamination would have settled back down to earth after a year.  Although that would make for a short novel.

My, haven't we been rather grim today?  I think we should lighten the tone with a lovely fluffy lamb.  Art?

Art!

     Excuse me whilst I break out the electric cattle prod.  Idiot - probably daydreaming of Mara Corday again.


*  As usual, I am correct.  Georgey Porgey fought at Dettingen in 1743.
** I apologise for using this horrid metric measurement but the Imperial equivalent of 4.13372" would be rather obscure
***  Sorry again
^  By some stretch of reality that I do not begin to understand, the REPUBLIC of South Canada, that fought a WAR to get rid of the monarchy, dubbed this man 'The King'?