Lead Zeppelin

You'll Be Plumb Amazed!

(and other terrible puns).  Lead, the metal doncha know, is known in Latin The Hideous Zombie Language as "Plumbum", which is where that heading comes from.

     Okay, from classical civilisation, metallurgy and the periodic table, we now move to - Mythbusters.  Conrad loves loves loves this program, and can hardly believe that the cast got PAID to blow things up, smash things up, burn things up - you get the picture.  Art?

The classic casting combination

     Seriously, they got paid to blow up a concrete-mixing lorry?  How is that fair?  I would <Mister Hand intervenes with a bamboo skewer to get things back on track> radium and fuming nitric acid.

     Anyway, one myth that they tackled concerned a common phrase: "It went down like a lead balloon".  A balloon, you see, is lighter-than-air, and lead, the metal, is well known for being like Art: especially dense.  OMG!!!!*  How can this dichotomy be!

     You might well ask.  The Mythbusters team didn't stop at asking, they went on to perform.  Their idea was to construct a balloon made out of lead that would cause the universe to implode refute the myth.  Art?

Small-scale testing

     Adam had to design a balloon out of lead sheeting that would inflate without bursting or leaking and carry a payload of particularly petite passengers.  No easy job!  Particularly as the lead sheeting was extremely fragile and needed treating with kid fingers who were the kid fingers of kid fingers.**

     They managed it.  Art?

Pumped.  Okay, okay - partially pumped.

     There you go.  The idea was that, to be successful, the lead balloon would have to wobble into the air with a small basket slung beneath, which contained miniature facsimiles of Adam and Jamie.  And they did it!  Art?

Sic

     Now, I am using poetic licence when I dub a balloon a zeppelin, as the latter has propulsion mechanisms and a rigid structural frame - 

     What's that?  You thought that this was going to be an item about a British heavy metal band?  Who have the - are you kidding!  Get a dictionary and learn to spell!!***

   Right, time to put the motley in a wetsuit and fill it with chilli sauce!

More Of Heavy Metal
I have, of late, been watching the very personable Nicholas Moran on several different Youtube videos he's made, the latest being "Equipment of the Irish Army" with emphasis on their armoured vehicles.  Art?


Nick as a callow youth

     Nick himself used to be in tanks, which is quite an achievement since he is about 6' 6" tall, and said height prevented him from ever serving in the Army's Panhard armoured cars because his knees ended up under his chin. 

     He had only good things to say about the FAL, which is a NATO standard rifle, usually produced under licence from Fabrique Nationale in Belgium.^  Art?

The Bang Stic

     As with the Webley mark VI, anyone hit by a FAL generally tends to lie down and cease to take an interest in proceedings.
     Anyway!  As Nick related, he and some army chums were stood outside their Panhard armoured car, collecting for a charity.  Art?

"Give us money or we shoot"

     As you probably know, the Panhard comes from France and is a somewhat elderly design.  A passing tourist, being French, recognised the car and mistakenly assumed the Irish Army were collecting in order to be able to buy a new armoured car ...

More Of Heavy Nettle
Yup, still reading "Three Against Rommel" by Alexander Clifford, and he comes out with a peculiar phrase "not milk and nettles", referring to a British army uniform.  The implication is that Teuton army uniforms were made of - er - milk and nettles?
     Not sure where this phrase comes from, and since I am at work, I cannot reference my Brewer's.^^
     It seems to mean something insubstantial in nature, which was unfortunate for the Teuton soldiery, because winter in North Africa is horribly cold and wet, even going so far as to inflict ice and sleet on anyone out in the open.

Sic

     Anecdotally I recall a Teuton officer praising captured British uniforms as being much better designed, warmer and more comfortable than his own.
     Perfidious Albion: on their mettle with the nettle.  Not sure about the milk.

*  I am simulating Teenage Texter Trauma levels of hysteria here; nothing to do with real life.

**  Go look it up.  Also, stolen in essence from 3 Mustafa 3.

***  I was going to use three exclamation marks, except that would have been going one too far.  Almost Continental, in fact.
^  Belgium, armourer to the world.  Yes, really.
^^  The dictionary of phrase and fable NOT anything to do with beer.  Just to be clear.