Like A Bridge Over Troubled Waters

Hello There!
First, to make more sense of this, you might care to go back and review today's earlier post, because that will boost my traffic figures.
     Briefly put, I was going on about soughs, underground canals, and the Bridgewater Canal.  We'll concentrate on the last of these for the moment.
     It was built in 1761, by order of the Duke of Bridgewater, in order to transport coal (via those underground canals) from Worsley to Manchester.  At Barton an aqueduct carried it over low-lying ground where locks would be impractical.  Art?

Very picturesque

     All is well until - suddenly! - the Manchester Ship Canal was constructed in 1893.  Okay, okay, not suddenly, it took six years.*  The thing is, the MSC passed directly underneath the Bridgewater, and not only is the MSC a whacking big thing by comparison, but so were the ships that would traverse it.  Art?

Whacking and big

     The problem was, how to keep both canals open simultaneously?  The solution was one worthy of Perfidious Albion: a swing aqueduct.  Art?

Aqueduct closed

     As you can see, this allowed the Bridgewater to still carry traffic, whilst the aqueduct could be swung into the open position to allow passing traffic on the MSC.  Folding gates on the aqueduct ends and the canal ends prevented water from escaping.  The whole thing came to about 1,500 tons. 
     Sadly, the MSC did not prove to be the success it's builders hoped it would, and nowadays it carries very little traffic.
     What's that?  You expected this to be about an album or even a song of the same name?  What!  By two ridiculously-monickered chaps called Slimey and Garglefunk?  Pshaw!  You're making this up and I don't believe a word of it.
     Okay, time to put the motley in a seal costume and run it in front of some polar bears!**

Death-dealing Dan
Steely Dan, that is.  You see?  That's a proper band, not a pair of made-up songsters who sound like a Tom & Jerry rip-off.  Anyway, over on the Steely Dan Dictionary website - which I heartily recommend, as not everyone can pick up on Becker and Fagen's lyrical musings especially if they don't hail from South Canada - they list a "Battle apple" in the song 'Josie' as a variety of street weapon.  It isn't described.
     You're probably ahead of the curve here.  Your humble scribe couldn't resist.  I mean, being both creative and evil, how could I?

Rather worryingly, this was easy to find

     The idea is that you have a packet of razor blades and an apple.  Should The Pigs stop you, they can't very well do anything.  A love of fruit and desire to look smart is not illegal.
     However, if a ruck with an opposing street gang looks likely, you embed a few razors in the apple - and I leave the rest up to your imagination.

Wise Ways With Words
As should be self-evident, Conrad enjoys mucking about with words.  Whilst a mumbler who speaks too quickly in conversation and who salts his talk with strange words (and ideas), he is quite capable wielding a pen, or keyboard.  You seem to agree with this, or you'd never have got this far.  Unless you are one of those people who skips to the end of the book first, in which case there is a special circle in Hell reserved just for you - 
     Sorry, gone off-track again.  Occupational hazard here.  Anyway, here is evidence of facility with vocabulary.  Art?

Extra large so you can see how wonderful I am

     This is from the MEN's 'Wordsquare', and if you got 34 letters that was classed as 'Good'; 46 was 'Very Good' and 58 was 'Excellent'.  I got 48, so not quite excellent.  I should add that this was all done without recourse to a dictionary.  You have to take that on trust but I have an honest face.  Art?

Scary and inhuman but honest

     Also performed on Friday was the Cryptic Crossword, which Ania was also desirous of doing.  She is a wiz at crosswords - in Polish.  She is Polish, lest that latter confuse you.  I fear she was being a little ambitious in trying to tackle a cryptic crossword in English; speaking for myself, I completed it in about fifteen minutes.  Some clues seemed familiar, so it may have been a copy of one I'd done in The Metro a few weeks earlier.
     Like I said, good with the written word.

Finally - 
Yorkshire Brack attack!  This is a dairy-free fruit cake, where the dried fruit is soaked in tea overnight.  This both softens the fruit and gives it a subtle flavour.  Art?

     The flour is gluten free, which can tend to lack lift, so I added a little baking powder and it's turned out swimmingly, at least as far as appearances go.
     Later!



*  Poetic licence.
**  Don't worry, motleys can run really fast. And fear lends wings.