Sergeant Pepper

Calm Yourselves -
For this is nothing to do with an obscure back-catalogue entry from the discography of a cult band from The Wirral.  No!  It's just that I thought the opening line of "Sergeant Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band" had a certain relevance here, in terms of the past.  If we can prod Simon, the rarely-encountered member of the BOOJUM! staff responsible for memory, then we might get - ah!

It was twenty years ago today

     Not very good, Steve, but better than nothing.  You see why we don't often resort to his help?  Piker.

Yes, you!

     Anyway, here are The Beetles ranting on about an event twenty years in the past, which is quite a long time ago by anybody's reckoning. What about an event sixty years in the past?
     That would make it 1958.  Only just, given that 2018 is less than 24 hours old, yet undeniably true.  
     "What can the silly old duffer be yarking on about now?"  I hear you querulously question; quibblingly, mind.
     Well, none other than "Quatermass and the Pit", the original television series broadcast across the tail-end of 1958 and on into 1959, is what.  Ah, that seems to have stopped you in your tracks, eh?

Original VHS cover

     Despite being 60 years old, this series holds up well as one of the most frightening television programs ever made and in terms of technical presentation is still effective.
     This is where Sgt. Pepper comes in.  QATP was made in 1958 and still has the power to chill an audience, which, if you want to stretch a point and extend the distance in time backwards, is like one of the earliest films ever made being still relevant in 1958.

No.  Sorry, but - no.

     One of the things that QATP had going for it was an excellent script, which slooowly revealed the progressively worsening situation for you Hom. Sap. to the point of a self-inflicted Armageddon.  Then, too, the effects were very impressive when most of the series was broadcast live.  And - the thing that resonates with your humble scribe - the extremely eerie sound effects played a major part.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K2HSbfeXeBs

     That above is a link to the whole thing on Youtube.
     Do NOT watch it alone, in the dark or - oh - what is that strange sound from the upstairs landing, irregular and atonal in nature and which seems to have spooked the cat?
     Well, you'll probably still be here to read the rest of this after investigating!*

It's only a model.  Keep telling yourself - "It's only a model.  It's on - WHAT'S THAT NOISE!"

It Was Thirty-Six Years Ago Today -
More of hideous science-fictional dystopias!  Oh no, wait a minute, that was "The Quatermass Conclusion" wasn't it?  Well, an hideous science-fictional dystopia, then.  You may, or may not, be familiar with Judge Dredd in either comic or film form.  I heartily recommend you familiarise yourself with same, as this is a rather bland and vanilla version of how things will be once I take over the world.

Cue sinister minor chords, played by an oboe

     Okay, let us look back to 1982, which is where the title for today comes from.  Way back then, in 2104 (is this confusing?  get used to it!) there was an apocalyptic war between East-Meg One and Mega-City one.  The Sov-Block lose - big time.  Ol' Stoneyface himself led a retaliation mission that hit EM1 with a multi-gigaton warhead, which turned it into a giant hole in the ground.
     Mind you, they deserved it.  Prior to this, 350 million citizens in the Big Meg had been nuked into vapour by the Sovs (who are Russian and therefore eeeevil to the bone from birth).
     All this because Mister John Wagner, Esq., had decided that Mega City One had become too big to handle, so it was due a bit of - er - culling.  He invented Judge Dredd, so I suppose he has a bit of input.  But there is more to come -
     - we shall come back to this one.  You can only take so much depressing dystopian dialogue after all.

The conclusion?  Hom. Sap. is doomed

Let Them Eat Cake
It has to be 'them' and not me - THANK YOU DIABETES THANK YOU SO MUCH - as I have to think about my slowly expanding waistline.  For the first time in an age, a good 6 months or so, I have baked a cake.  Gluten-free carrot cake.  Art?

     There was a certain amount - okay, a lot - of prodding from other parties, to ensure that we didn't waste any of our rare and precious harvest of carrots.  Carrots.  Rare and precious, don't you know - Gollum was a fool to settle for a ring!
     The old tricks also came back - put the soft brown sugar through a sieve, as it clumps once the packet is opened.  You also end up with soft brown sugar bullets at the bottom of the sieve, which you have to bin, as they're made out of rock.  Also, put the bicarbonate of soda through a tea strainer, as it, too, clumps once out of the packet.  Tent the whole thing with pinholed tinfoil about half way through the baking time and remember to turn it around in the oven.

Usurped!
Usually it is Jenny who assumes the Position of Power on the bed in my Sekrit Layr, delivering the "Yes?  What is it, puny human?" look.  This time it was Edna, who assumed such an air of superiority that she didn't even bother with the contemptuous look. 

     I feel so crushed.

Finally -
Ah, Le Tourneau, a fruitful source of monsters.  Monster machines, that is - you can come out from behind the sofa now.  Allow me to introduce this big beast - Art?


     This is the Sno-Train, a road-train intended for off-road use in Arctic terrain, which is the longest off-road vehicle ever, at 183 yards long (actually the length was given in metres, but we're not having any of that horrid metric nonsense here).

*  A hint:  DON'T GO INVESTIGATING!