Brains!

No, This Will Not Be About What You Expect -
Brains, eh?  Everybody's got them.  Er - although some behave as if they haven't, and (as confessed) your humble scribe is not entirely sure how his own works.  And they are what latter-day zombies go for, too.  As far as zombies express intellect, passion and a nutritional need, they express it by slurring "Brains!"  As long as they still have a mouth and tongue, that is.  Art?

Hmmm.  We'll let this one pass

     Here an aside.  Conrad is not convinced that today's zombies (or any since "Night of the Living Dead") are being sensible when they manifest a monomania about dining on the living's cerebral cortex.  For a start, what is a zombie armed with?  Nothing more substantial than teeth and fingers.  Where does the deliciously chewy human brain reside?  Inside the skull.

A skull.  Red it may be, it's still a skull.

     The skull, in case you hadn't noticed, is composed of solid bone, and is rather hard to break - which is exactly as nature intended it to be.  The probability of a zombie with rotting gums and loose teeth being able to bite through a blancmange, let alone solid bone, is vanishingly small.  Thus, assorted film-makers (Dan O'Bannon I'm looking at you) have depicted the human skull as being fragile as a hard-boiled egg.
     However!  This has nothing to do with the cerebellum.  No, for shortly I shall be dining upon these - 

Tah-dah!

     Er - actually they do look a bit like brains, don't they?  Delicious chewy brains in a West Country sauce.  Conrad is not sure whether or not they sell these in South Canada, as they do have different definitions for English words - the unfelicitous "bum" comes to mind.
     There you go, told you it wasn't about what you expected, didn't I?
     Now, those delicious chewy brains in faggots in a West Country sauce are just about done, so I shall just pop into the kitchen and get them - hopefully not missing any crucial scenes in "Father Brown" -
     Next question - if I pop upstairs to get my phone in order to take a photograph, can I trust Edna alone with those faggots?

Trustworthy or not?  Only you can tell!

In-Range
There I was, watching "The Great War" on Youtube, as presented by Indy Neidell -
     Here an aside.  The Great War is actually recorded in Sweden, where Indy has been living for these past 20 years, rather than in South Canada, which was my original belief, and it involves Indy, his cameraman, and a crew of five.
     Anyway, there I was, watching, when up popped a video screen in the background.  Art?

Presto - as if by magic -

     This is Ian McCollum, whom you will recognise from my banging on about "Forgotten Weapons".  This is a different Youtube channel, and in this particular example -

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EIGIBJeRfnQ

     - there's the link, if you care to watch.  Well worth it!
     "That's not telling us exactly what it's about, Conrad.  Having a senior moment, are we?" I hear you question.
     Pausing only to note your ISP, who will be getting a visit from the Hamster Police later, I shall continue.  Is that okay? It is? Thank you so much!*
     Ian and buddy Karl demonstrate various trench weapons and techniques, which your humble scribe was unaware of - I may study military history, that doesn't mean I go around practicing how to impale people on bayonets.**

Do you get the point?
(also, do you see - o you do)

Remark The Shark
As you may already be aware, Conrad is always trying to rehabilitate the shark, which, to be honest, is very much an uphill struggle.  Ever since 'Jaws' came out, The Hoover Of The Seas has been seen in an especially bad light, and the 'Sharknado' franchise hasn't helped, either<sad face>.
     However, help is at hand, and from a most peculiar source.  Art?

Symbol for a certain political leader

     It transpires that The Horny One is terrified of sharks - why, I have no idea - and this has become common knowledge.  Thus, people who are not overfond of him, which amounts to quite a lot of people, are happily funding shark  charities.

Shark is happy

     Truly, people are strange.

Finally -
We've had armed conflict, zombies and sharks.  Let us finish with a combination of giant bug versus tanks.  Art?

Appropriately large

     The film is 'The Black Scorpion", from 1957, and yes, the Fifties did have a glut of giant bug films.  I use the term "bug" because they weren't all insects, e.g. the titular tarantula from "Tarantula", and indeed the scorpion above:  arachnidae both.
     I haven't seen the end of this film and so always thought the tanks involved were Churchills, except they happen to be the M26 Pershing.   Art?

Hoora for Mara!

     <sigh>  sorry, gentle reader - apparently the film features (the undeniably hot) Mara Corday, whom Art has a severe crush on.  Can we have the tank now, Art?***

No!!  Art, that's a tank called "Scorpion" - we want the M26.

     I do apolgise - sory for the pselling mistakes, its ard to type when pokng someon with a n electirc cattle prod

Finally!

     and goodnight


*  This is sarcasm (you may have already guessed)
**  Thermonuclear weapons design - quite another story!
***  I'll Tazer him later.