BOOJUM! - Powered by Marmite and (Stale) Bread

The Breakfast of Champions
     Don't knock Conrad's breakfast diet - stale* bread dunked in a cup of hot Marmite, washed down with a serving of ice-cream, chased with a tin of sardines in tomato sauce.  I  have only had one day off sick in the past eighteen months - how about you?

Noooo!  The horror!  The horror!  Only as a drink!

A Return to Normality
     I beg your pardon for no Blog yesterday - not only did I work late, I managed to make a gluten-free Victoria Sponge before departing for the pub quiz, where we won**!
     Fortunately this delay has allowed the guard hog to replace all the plates our Greek entertainers destroyed, and his brother the hard hog (a skilled carpenter) has carpentered together three new tables.  I have sold the Siberian wolves on to an itinerant fur pedlar, who is going to recycle them***  The bad news it that the Battle of Britain flight were not using blank ammunition, and Rochdale Council is looking for compensation - something to do with roof slates being shot to bits.  Also, some angry farmer was ranting up and down the road about his cows being -

"Is it safe to come out?"

"Wheat's back on the menu, boys!"
     Almost a quote from "Lord Of The Rings", except Mister Uruk-Hai is wrong, for today I served a wheat-free chocolate cake and (as above) a wheat-free Victoria Sponge.  Rarely has cake whizzed off the plate with such speed - I arrived and posted an e-mail message about what cakes were available just after 9:00 a.m. and by 10:15 all cake was gone.  Not only gone, but enjoyed immensely by all who ate.

"Which suicidal f#@**!  scarfed my Lemongrass and Poppyseed Brioche!"

    
Kill the Kindle - Buy A Book!
     As anyone who walks city-centre Manchester knows, this is the motto of the second-hand book stall opposite the Arndale entrance.  Conrad, of course, is a regular customer.  Not only is there some fascinating antique stock on view, the other stock is also rotated regularly, including some for only £1 each.  Today I bought "Battles With Model Soldiers" by Donald Featherstone, a volume I originally owned 40 years ago -

Conrad as a small (but very very serious) child

Excuse me, there's a tapping noise from the cellar.  Either that long-delayed party from Colditz have arrived, or the giant moles are back - either way I have to go investigate.

Toodle Pip!

* Of course stale - fresh bread gets too soggy.
** We shall have to now lose for several months, or risk ostracism
***  Pedlar, pedals, re"cycle" oh it's not funny if you have to explain it ...