Lo, it is many many months since Conrad put his long thin feet across the threshold of Morrisons. Since I am on leave this week, I thought going to do the weekly shop on Friday morning would mean fewer shoppers infesting the aisles.
Alas no! The store layout has been redesigned. The first thing to greet one is this:
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| "Pouring water vapour on our vegetables keeps them fresh, just like in every horror film." |
The second thing was hordes of bewildered pensioners, doddering into the paths of oncoming trolleys, lamenting in a chorus of "It's all been changed, it's all been changed - d'you remember when this was all fields?" Conrad - remember, a creature of habit - managed to negotiate the metamorphosed marketplace, so they ought to be able to manage. If they can't figure out where the okra or ducle de leche are, how can they ever hope to survive the forthcoming Zombie Holocaust, eh?
Conrad, Bringer of Jollity and Cake
Since I happened to be in the city centre anyway, today I took in the surplus cakes that weren't going to get eaten at home, and dropped them off at work. Colleagues = pleased and surprised in equal measures, except Anna, because i) I didn't say hello (she was on the phone) and ii) she didn't get any cake (this is more serious and I shall have to manage a bit of wiggle-room next week).
Here's a wolf for Anna:
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| Er - maybe not this wolf - |
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| Ah! Much better! |
Books Ahoy!
After visiting the old office yesterday, I popped over to the finest second-hand book collection in Manchester, at Saint Paul's church. And more books from this month's order at Abebooks continue to arrive; and since Conrad happened to be in Manchester city centre, where also lurks Waterstones, what else could I do but go visit there?
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| They're not all new buys. Only 19 of them are. |
So - Tanks?
Imagine you lost the coin toss and got to sit in the driver's seat of this bad boy:
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| Kind of a mini-Tactical Tree Crusher, innit? |
Well, that mountain of books won't read itself. Conrad is off!
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