To Mangle A Couple Of Aphorisms
I used the title as a text on the AI Art Generator I use, and I can see that we have little to fear in the immediate future from our machine overlords. Art!
Paramilitary glass-pumpkin heads are the wave of the future. Or something.
ANYWAY what I want to bore you to tears over in this Intro is an analysis of Professor Peter Caddick-Adam' most recent work "1945 Victory In The West". Not the work itself, although I do have a couple of places noted for later explication, but rather the "Acknowledgements", which is the very last piece of prose before the Notes and Index. This usually takes the form of a brief round of thanks to various colleagues, pretty dry stuff and only of interest to those so named.
Not this Acknowledgements. It is amusingly and wittily phrased, allocating mock titles such as 'Admiral' or 'Rear Admiral' on the Prof's nod to his mates. Art!
Briefly put - 'briefly' because it's 531 pages long absent the Notes and Index - this work covers the last three months of the Second Unpleasantness in Western Europe, aided by several excellent maps, which I've gratefully mentioned a few times already.
So, then: onto the Acknowledgements, and those the Prof names. The first name I recognised was Darren Bennett, who also gets a credit in the title page, and whom was responsible for the maps. Art!
One of the simpler and less complex ones
To shamelessly crib from the actual text: "In charge of air operations, particularly in gathering intelligence, selecting targets and ensuring this pilot has the correct weapons load, is my wise old friend, Vice Admiral James Holland." We have met Ol' Jim several times over the years, and the Prof next mentions his companion in crime podcasting, Big Al Murray.
Next came a raft of rear-admirals aboard the Prof's mock book exemplified as aircraft-carrier, and I recognise the name Philip Blood from Woody's Youtube channel. Then there's Rob Citino, whose "The German Way Of War" is staring down at me from the Book Mountain. Next up is Saul David, and I've got at least one book by him. Then it's the baby-faced Gary Sheffield, another military history author and the one I credit with getting me back into wargaming 25 years ago. Art!
Excellent and succinct work
Who gets named next? Why another Professor, that being John Buckley, whom the Prof states "once had the privilege of attempting to teach me." Seems to have paid off.
A moment's silence for Brigadier and Professor Richard Holmes, long gone from us, and the Prof's old boss and friend. If you see one of his "War Walks" programs on television, make a point of watching it.
Professor Rob Citino gets a second mention in his position as a member of the National World War II Museum in New Orleans. Art!
That's a pretty serious-sized museum
Moving swiftly along, we then come to David Willey, whom I'm unsure has written any published works. Not that he needs to, he has perhaps the best job in the world as head of the Tank Museum at Bovvie*. Paul Woodage, to be formal about Woody's name, is also mentioned again, being a personal friend of the Prof and a professional battlefield guide.
We then have a clutch of other military history authors, including Pritt Buttar, ex-RAMC if my memory serves, and one of the verrrrry few milhist authors to focus on the Eastern Front of the First Unpleasantness. I should know, I've got a couple of his books that I've yet to crack open. Last of the authors that I recognise is Jonathan Ware, an occasional guest on Woody's channel and capable of talking at over a thousand words per minute. Art!
The Prof wearing a Brodie-pattern 'battle bowler'.
Perhaps the most amusing bit of the Acknowledgements is the Prof's description of his local neighbours in Poreč, Croatia, who know him as the "Englez", and whom are convinced that he is really a 'špijun' or spy. Probably not. But you know what they say about hiding in plain sight -
Old Dog Learns New Trick
As you should surely know by now, Conrad views mobile phones with immense suspicion at the best of times. Normally I avoid using mine unless loading a Day Saver ticket from Bee Network, and on a whim I loaded an app to operate as a thermometer, which is quite an exception. Art!
My brand-new food processor, which has not featured here recently because my phone refused to load any pictures taken into the Gallery. This happened a week ago and a Restart solved the problem, until it returned and Lo! Restart had lost it's power o'er evil. Art!
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| Puny cup for scale |
This, gentle reader, is a 'Great Australian Bite', made from a recipe I dug out of a pile going back years. Thanks to the FP, the courgette and carrot were grated in seconds flat, and the onion chopped very finely indeed.
How did I get the devil's digital device to work again? Troubleshooting. I located the phone cache of temporary files and emptied all 236 megabytes of it, Hay Pesto! job done. Yes yes yes, this would be second nature to the yoof of today, however - that word again! - Conrad is Dinosaur Dad and it comes as about twenty-fifth nature to me. Art!
Someone thinks they're being punny
"Department S: The Pied Piper Of Hambledown"
This is one of those television tropes where a single person wakes up, to find that their entire hamlet/village/town/city <delete where applicable> is completely deserted. In this case there were a lot of baffling clues, which were tied up in what was ultimately a rather sordid money-grubbing scheme. I shan't say more in case you want to watch it yourself, but let me say that I did NOT see the resolution coming. Art!
That's Susan, the sole occupant of the village. Conrad is too discreet to go into details or provide a picture, but the producers knew that her jogging about the village at dawn in a nightgown, looking for other people, would provide quite a high - er - 'jiggle factor'. You could get away with that sort of thing in 1969.
If I Were To Say 'Pro Team'
One of the Youtube channels I watch is "Kyiv Post" and from the title you may realise that it's a Ukrainian channel. One of their interviewers is Jason Jay Smart, who is unabashedly pro-Ukraine, and he had a verrrrry intereresting guest on (again): Chuck Pfarrer. Art!
In his glory days
Chuck was the leader of SEAL Team 6, whom are South Canadian rapscallions known for being very dangerous soldiers indeed. Long out of the military, he now does a lot of script and written work, possibly drawing on his Clinical Psychology qualifications from Bath University**. He had a few very illuminating insights into South Canadian and NATO officers versus those of Modern-day Mordor. Art!
"Tea? Or window?"
Chuck looked back at The Little Tsar's reign of 25 years, which approximates to two military generations. Every senior officer in the Ruffian army has been part of Putinpot's systemically corrupt administration, seeking to enrich themselves by any means possible, instead of, you know, being a professional officer.
Whereas, in the South Canadian military, every general or admiral has to have a Ph. D, or they wouldn't have gotten to their position. Even down to the rank of Captain, officers in NATO need the equivalent of a Master's degree to be entitled to promotion. Professional soldiers, you see, not criminal brigands.
There were a lot of interesting insights from Chuck, so we may come back to this one, it has legs. Art!
JJS in clean-shaven and hirsute versions.
Finally -
I think the GAB has cooled sufficiently to eat, so I am off to scoff. Ta ra!
* Bovington Tank Museum if we're being formal. You OUGHT to have known that already, you pikers.
** Yes, that Bath in This Sceptred Isle
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