You'd Better Not Assume I'd Mis-spelled "Protein"
Because that would be WRONG! WRONG WRONG WRONG!
Wrong. Just so we're clear. However - ah my favourite word! - now that I've mentioned it, we might as well do what we do so well at BOOJUM! and define what a PROTEIN is. All hail my "Concise Collins Dictionary" - "Any of a large group of nitrogenous compounds of high molecular weight that are essential constituents of all living organisms." Art!
Hmmm, "Protein" is a bit dull as an illustrative term, so I used "A giant singing pudding", which might even have proteins in it.
And what's this further up that very same page? "PROTEAN", which is derived from "PROTEUS".
Here is where we perform the Tome Tag-Team and switch from the CCD to "Brewer's Dictionary Of Phrase And Fable". For 'Proteus' - apologies for switching case - is a character from Greek mythology. I think we covered him briefly whilst commenting on "The Aeneid". Art!
Not to scale
I won't quote the whole article, because that would be cheating and upping the Count by false methods, and you know what sticklers for truth and honesty we are around here. It states: "In Greek legend NEPTUNE's herdsman, an old man and a prophet, famous for his power of assuming different shapes at will. Protean: readily taking on different aspects, ever-changing, versatile."
Have we covered this film previously? I suspect we have. It's about a shapeshifting monster that devours whole towns at a time, Conrad - of course! - has read the novel it was based upon, and remembers that the unsuspecting sheriff and intruding sisters come across a clue, from a victim of Greek heritage: "Proteus". I wasn't sure if I should en-fuschia that or not so I did. These are the artistic decisions that make BOOJUM! what it is. Art!
Here's a play on words. "Harry Adam Knight" doesn't exist, it was a combined pseudonym for John Brosnan and Leroy Kettle. John had a proper career as a writer on different film genres, which he didn't want to sully with his other income stream, trashy horror novels, hence the pseudonym. A HAK for a hack, perhaps. Inevitably, Your Humble Scribe has read this work, yet only once several decades ago. The plot centres around six people who end up marooned in A Sinister Haunted House, except it's a derelict re-purposed oil rig, which is stalked by a shapeshifting monster. Called 'Charlie'. Colour Conrad unconvinced. You can't be a slavering homicidal chimera with a name like 'Charlie'. "Fang" or "Shredder" or "Cannibal Carnivorous Cockleshell", yes; "Charlie", no. Art!
"Slimer" was published in 1983 - long enough after "The Thing" to have surely been influenced by it - and this is the filmed version, going by a completely different name. As you may have noticed. Conrad has not seen it. By all accounts it is a modestly effective film, riffing on "Alien" - which usually means people running down dark corridors being pursued by a Whatever with big teeth - and "Leviathan" - made before the Ruffians were automatically the bad guys - and "The Thing", because if you're going to rip-off pay homage to a film, why not use one of the classics. Art!
Charlie don't surf. He swims, by the look of it
I can't remember much about the novel, save that Charlie ends up with a massive heroin habit, which our heroes use against him, and there might have been an ambiguous ending. Art!
There is a more recent method of shapeshifting, which those of Darling Daughter's generation are probably a lot more familiar with, to wit: Polyjuice Potion. Art!
From the "Harry Potter" universe, in case you've been living on Moonbase Alpha for the past twenty years. I say 'shapeshifting' but only within strictly defined limits as you can only become another Hom. Sap. instead of an oak tree or a bucket of sand. J K Rowling obviously realised that this stuff was as dangerous as plutonium and so hedged her literary bets with it. Firstly, not just anyone can make it, since it requires lots of ingredients and expert preparation and practice practice practice. Secondly, the duration of the shapeshift is deliberately vague: from ten minutes to twelve hours. Art!
There is the potential to make catastrophic - if you'll pardon the pun - mistakes, as with Hermione here. She accidentally included a cat hair in her potion, so her lab sterility procedure is to blame. No, no, she's not a cat, because she can only be a Hom. Sap, remember? So perhaps a variety of werecat.
I bet the furry cosplayers would pay dearly for that supposed mistake <ponders in mercenary style>.
Apologies for this particular Intro's merely scratching the surface of the subject matter. If you want to know more, "Wikipedia" has an enormous entry on the subject of 'Shapeshifting'.
Happy Birthday To The Only Fat Man In Norkland
We don't often grace this morbidly obese twod with a name, but here we are referring to Kim Jong Un, ruler of the Democratic Prison Of North Korea. His birthdate seems to be a state secret as it might be any one of three years, so he is possibly 42, 43 or 44, as of 8th January. Art!
That's the image his fawning media likes to present. In reality he is a 300-lb blob who drinks heavily and smokes, suffers from diabetes and hypertension and whose minions have to try and smuggle Western drugs back home to ensure he doesn't suddenly drop dead. His health has been so bad at times that his sister has to take over the reins of power, which, for a dictator, is a risky move, because she might get to feel that the reins feel better in her hands than his. Just a thought. Art!
The most unflattering picture I've ever seen of the fat git. Hope you don't live to see your next birthday, you slavering bumbletuck. Thanks to "Brosint 69" for posting it, and with all the taste, charm and tact that Your Humble Scribe can muster, I captioned it "Arteries like furry pipes".
I guess that's 10 years in a Nork prison if they ever catch me. Tee hee!
Our Journey With Bernie
Continues! Let me see where we're up to on this "Masters Of The Macabre" sequence of trading cards.
Good job I checked. #58, "Creeper" is not present on teh Interwebz, so let's go for #59, "Purgatory", instead. Art!
Bernie! Honestly, he keeps doing this, doesn't he? A detailed breakdown of the media and materials used, with nary a whisper about the subject matter. Alternate title "World's Worst Acne" perhaps?
We Continue To Be Cruel
There is a Twitter user with the handle "Syrian Girl" who was a rabid Bashar Al-Assad supporter, back when he was still around. She would post all sorts of stuff and nonsense in support of him, bravely posting from her parents basement in -
Australia.
Yeah, no bothersome involvement that might actually put her delicate epidermis at risk. Here's a Tweet someone dug up when The Chinless Twod was still clinging on to power. Art!
How's that retreat coming along now, SG? SG? Are you there?
Oho, so now she's embarrassed enough to stop people being able to see what she posts. Not sure if that's karma or hubris. Also, Twitter updated the Syrian flag emoji to the new one, which might have broken her. The poor dear.
How Very Careless!
It would seem that the scamble cryptocurrency Bitcoin is kept in digital 'wallets' on computer hard drives, rather than having a physical presence. Art!
For this hapless chump's partner threw out the relevant hard drive in 2013, which contained a 'wallet' containing Bitcoin, which he mined in 2009, back when the value was a mere pittance.
It having now accrued quite a bit of value, he wanted to excavate 100,000 tons of landfill to recover the drive. Sadly not to be, as the hard drive became the local council's property once it was dumped.
Ooops.
Not only that, if he'd had to store $598 million in actual real-world physical notes and bullion, it would have occupied several shipping containers, which are considerably harder to accidentally throw away.
Ooops again.
Tee hee! again, for we are feeling cruel cruel cruel today.
No comments:
Post a Comment