You Know Conrad Loathes Donold Judas Trump
With a citric vengeance, and up to now I've been saying that the worm in his brain wriggling about in it's wakeful hours is what causes him to blather nonsense, like "Let's invade that bastion of evil, the Sanjak Of Novi Pazar!" or "Covfefe!".
What if I'm wrong?
What if the worm in his brain is what keeps him sane? And when it goes to sleep he fires up his walnut of wisdom and complains that "Greenland isn't green, it's mostly white" or "The Saint Jack of Navy Pizza is in the Pacific, right?"
His bloviating has brought Denmark and Greenland into the public view, mind, and Conrad is now delighted to be able to capture stills from a recruitment video (in Danish) about the "Slaedepatruljen Sirius", which we have covered before as the Royal Danish Navy's Sirius Dog-sled Patrol". Art!
Greenland the white (and grey)
This video clip starts with a chap we'll call 'Ulf', because we can and he can't answer back. One of his cautions is that you have to keep moving to avoid frostbite. Another was that, should you fall through the ice and lose your kit, you have to ski on to the nearest refuge. In Ulf's case it took him 23 hours to cover the 100 kilometres. Art!
From what I already covered, you can only join The Patrol after completing your conscription in the Danish armed forces and, although they offer equal opportunities for females, none have ever bothered to apply. Art!
Slaede og hunde
Here's one of their enforcers: Art!
Ulf describes being outdoors in conditions where it can reach minus 40⁰ Centigrade, and where you instantly get icicles in your beard. That clip above shows one of The Patrol setting up a tent in driving wind, which cannot be any degree of fun at all. Art!
I believe 50 of those locations are refuge huts, to be used in emergencies, and which are always stocked with food and medicines, just in case. Probably don't need a fridge to store the scoff. Art!
To minimise risks, or at least mitigate them to a reasonable level, when The Patrol sends out a patrol, they send a pair of men, who are then stuck with each other, especially if the weather turns bad (see above). Being allergic to dogs would be a bit of a stinker, too. Art!
A rather terrifying prospect. O, wait! He means pull the dog's teeth and carry out surgery on them, rather than his sledge-buddy. Although, still .....
The Patrollers tour of duty in Greenland lasts for 2 years, and even if members are now allowed to join whilst still in a relationship, that's a long time and far away (over 1,800 miles). An individual patrol tour can last for two months, and if it's in the central winter months, you won't see any daylight at all, which would make anyone SAD. Contrariwise, you do get the sun at midnight, which is a bit of balance.
That's Danish for 'Special Forces', and you do need to have a special mindset to enjoy working tens of degrees below zero, with a big pack of huskies, keeping a weather eye out for polar bears and being stuck in a tent with someone who farts uncontrollably.
Conrad rather fondly imagines a bunch of MAGA numpties coming to Greenland to plant a South Canadian flag in the middle of the wilderness and coming face-to-face with The Patrol, or perhaps an unruly polar bear or two.
"A Private Function"
Ha! Got it. This is the only film I recall that has a podiatrist within it, except I couldn't recall what the title was a couple of weeks ago. It stars Michael Palin and Maggie Smith and concerns the austerity of post-war Britain, where food was still rationed. Art!
Foreshadowing
The plot centres around a pig being fattened up for a celebration dinner, which is stolen by Michael's character, who I distinctly recall being demeaned as a 'foot doctor'. Hey hey hey, Adnan said it takes a three-year course to qualify, less of the disrespect, toe the line. If you see what I mean.
"The War Illustrated Edition 201 2nd March 1945"
As of this date the war in Europe had two months left to run, which was a closed book to those taking part, as they had no idea what the end date would be. SPOILER 8th of May. Hope that didn't take all the wind out of your sails. Okay, back to the montage page that we've been detailing about. Art!
Winter in Northern Italy. Unusually, the picture here names the soldier we see having a cup of char - Sapper R. Vass, hailing from the balmy climes of Surrey, resting his feet alongside the River Santerno. I'd be a bit dubious about sitting beneath icicles that must weight half a ton, because if they don't drip on you, they may drop on you.
More jolly boating fun on the Santerno. Upriver there had been a sudden thaw, which dumped immense quantities of meltwater into the river, immediately raising it by three feet (or a yard) and turning it into a raging torrent. This has played merry Hob with this pontoon bridge, and sappers are trying to rescue and salvage what they can of it. Probably cursing, too "If that slacker Vass was here we'd have enough people to manage." Art!
"Good!" Said Conrad, Gloasting A Little
Okay, gloasting a lot. Art!
A series nobody asked for, that seems to exist solely as a cash-grab, and which tries to prostitute the name of Ol' Tolky for the sake of squeezing dollars out of the viewing public. Conrad hasn't besmirched his eyes by watching any of it but I have seen some excoriating reviews by others who have. Hopefully "Robothead" will put up another of his hilarious Antipodean-accented destructions of this unworthy airwave botherer, mocking the three people who fervently wish for a third season. Don't mention the dreadful "Batwoman" series, yes it got three seasons but it was a tax-dodge vehicle, that's the only explanation. Also it was made as cheaply as possible.
My Fitbit Seems To Have Recovered
For a couple of weeks the battery was running down ridiculously quickly, requiring it to be re-charged daily, which is a pain as Your Humble Scribe uses it daily to time breaks, lunch, cooking times, dog walks, etcetera.
This may jinx it, but it's not been charged since Friday and is still at 35%.
Almost a year ago I had a similar run-in with my old Fitbit. Art!
Except Mister Sausage Fingers managed to break the charging socket, not simply allow the battery to run down, and that was the end of that.
Finally -
Better get back to Season One of "Lost". One of the best episodes so far was "Numbers", where the flashbacks are from Hurley's perspective and concern all the terrible things that happen to people around him after he wins the Lottery using a set of verrrrrry dubious numbers. His uncle dies of a heart attack at the lottery win announcement; the priest at his funeral is struck by lightning; his sister runs off with another woman's husband; his mother breaks her ankle getting out of his brand-new Humvee; the house he bought for her burns down; he gets wrongfully arrested by the police; and the Canadian factory he owned burned down. But it was over-insured so he made a killing. Macabre comedy at it's best! Art?
Keep your distance if you want to live
No comments:
Post a Comment