Iron-y

Yet More Heavy Metal Humour

Let me have recourse to my "Collins", which has a definition or two to do with "Irony", thus: "The humourous or mildly sarcastic use of words to imply the opposite of what they actually mean".  Also "An instance of this, used to draw attention to some incongruity or irrationality".

     Conrad jibs a bit at the use of 'sarcastic' because irony comes across in print, whereas sarcasm is derived from the tone of voice used.  Art!

     That's a Patriot missile battery in action, one of the reasons the Ruffian VDV keeps it's planes and pilots deep inside Modern-day Mordor.  The irony here is that Putinpot's invasion was supposed to 'De-militarise' Ukraine, and here they are bristling with more and more modern SAM systems.  Art!

     Here we have an undeniably Mancunian landmark, confirmation thanks to the looming Hallé Tower, and this permits me to add in the second definition of "Irony" from my CCD.   "Resembling, or containing, iron".  The bridge you see there is a Victorian-era one, made of cast iron.  It's structural components will have been cast elsewhere, and then put together here by spanner-wielding artisans.  Cast iron is great stuff thanks to being tough and durable, apart from a tendency to brittleness.  Art!

No hay for this horse

     Behold an example of the vehicle that traversed railway bridges, known as an 'Iron Horse', which nickname was bestowed upon it at inception, since it carried out the functions that a horse and wagon had managed up to that date.  Romantics have gushed about the Romance Of Steam since then, without ever once acknowledging that you cannot eat an Iron Horse when it's too old for service.  Art!

     

     Feast your eyes - O! how clever am I - on this example of what are known as "Iron rations", only to be consumed in an emergency, as when the scran fails to arrive in the front lines and Tommy is cursing that they replaced Dobbin with a steam locomotive.  The term is derived from the tins of corned beef that were issued as an iron ration in the First Unpleasantness.  Art!

"First Hand from Dorfschmied" and you're welcome

      A chap who may have inspired "Game Of Thrones", this is Gotz Von Berlichingen, a Teuton knight of the Early Renaissance period, who had the unfortunate experience of having his right hand chopped off.  By his own sword when it was hit by a cannonball.  Sword of steel, meet ball of iron.

     ANYWAY he had various artisans cobble together a simple rigid iron hand as a replacement, later having a more elaborate one made that could flexibly grip objects.  Whether he had a sister and a pash for her is not written.  Art!

A ship.  Don't ask me which one.

     No idea what her name is.  In terms of class, this is an "Ironclad", a species of warship that proliferated from mid-nineteenth century until the end of that century.  They had a wooden hull, as had all ships going back millennia, except in the days of high-velocity cannon that fired whacking big balls, wooden was weak.

     Iron, on the other hand, was not.  Thus wooden-hulled ships were covered in armour plate, to prevent being savagely blown about by modern artillery, what ho! and wouldn't you know, the South Canadians were first in there during their Civil Unpleasantness.  Art!

     It was a qualified draw.  Both ships blasted seven shades of snot out of each other, and at very short ranges, yet their armour was sufficiently robust that they both sailed away mostly intact.  Art!

     Sorry for the sub-optimal shot that mangles the title a tad.  Your Modest Artisan couldn't find a more suitable cover than this one to round off the Intro with.  Yes, in this reality the Roman Empire went on to conquer the Galaxy thanks to their robot army, which is a pretty far-fetched plot for a culture that had no zero in it's number system.

Conrad Is ANGRY!

Don't think that my Frothing Nitric Ire has settled down into middle-aged complacency, simply because it's not explicitly mentioned.  Those Dog Buns! Codeword compilers are still taking liberties.  I WILL NOT HAVE IT!

     Just you wait and see who gets sent to the experimental labs testing how long people can watched a looped Britney Spears song before going insane.

LEGATO: Nothing to do with the legal system, and from the spelling Conrad guessed it was Italian, and I was right.  It refers to a musical composition played without any pauses between notes.  Art!

AUSTENITE: If you've never heard of this, join the club.  Conrad looked at it from both ends and upside down, and wondered if it meant a devotee of the works by Jane Austen?

     But no.  I had to resort to teh Interwebz, since this word is so obscure it's not present in my CCD.  "Austinite is a rare mineral that can be found in oxidized base metal deposits that are rich in arsenic"

     WHAT, ARE WE ALL GEOLOGISTS OF A SUDDEN?  Art!

An Austen.  Close enough.

CERULEAN:  Blue.  Probably from a Latin <spit hack> root.

Our Journey With Bernie

I have, once again, done due diligence with this one and determined that yes, the image  of #44, "Moonpool", is freely available on the internet.  Art!

     <sigh> once again Bernie explains the technical side of creating this image, then omits to inform what's going on.  One can guess that the pool, where matey is either having a wash, or drinking - unwise unless the water is boiled - is affected by the rays of the Moon.  So, is that grinning maw being reflected back what matey really looks like?  Or is a feral monster going to leap out of the water and devour him?  He seems very blasé about it.  Perhaps he took his glasses off to splash water on his face?

Conrad Carefully Considers

I have just watched the trailer for "28 Years Later" and of course - obviously! - I have questions.  Art!

     If you're unfamiliar with the original, I highly recommend it.  Without going into too much detail, "28 Days Later" shows the complete collapse of This Sceptred Isle when the Rage virus is released from a laboratory.  The infection is passed on in bodily fluids and takes mere seconds to turn Mister Milksop into a raging homicidal maniac.

     There is an upside, though.  The Infected are so consumed with Rage that they don't bother to eat or drink, plus they vomit up pints of blood, so by the end of 28DL they're all dying off.  The studios had to engineer an incredibly contrived way to get the disease back in "28 Weeks Later".  Art!

A MacDonald's Happy Meal probably won't suffice to keep him off

     People on Youtube are praising the trailer for not giving away the whole film, hinting instead, and generating suspense not annoyance.

     So - how can there still be Infected after over a quarter of a century has elapsed?  What do they eat, and drink?  Does their haemorrhaging up pints of red go-juice stop?  Do they have enough sense to get out of the rain or snow?

     There is a Part II already being filmed, so the world does not end in Part I.

     Of course, I could be over-thinking this .....

We Are Living In The Future

I do keep warning people.  Okay, you may be aware that the Ukrainians have a naval drone called, utterly inappropriately, the 'Sea Baby'.  These things hunt down Ruffian shipping, and display behaviour horribly like sharks out for blood.  Art!

     The orcs use helicopters to try and counter the drones, by shooting at them from about a hundred yards up, which they can could do with impunity.

     Not any longer.  That Ruffian helicopter above is seen through the gunsights of a machine gun installed on a Sea Baby, which the cunning Ukes have gimmicked up to track and fire on enemy aircraft.  Reportedly the intercepting helicopters suffered damage, including dead and injured crew.  Next time it'll be DROPADS - Sea Baby's with SAMs, or perhaps both those and guns.

Finally -

I have remaindered sausages to scoff!