Read That Title Carefully -
For no, it is NOT that colloquial vulgarism as used in This Sceptred Isle, "A load of cobblers', occasionally modified and intensified to 'A load of old cobblers', meaning 'A whole lot of nonsensical stupidity'. My "Brewer's" gives the definition as being too NSFW for the blog, so you'll just have to make do without. Art!
Various types of cob or cobbled loaf, and the only connection these have with the latter part of the matter is heat, for one needs a very hot oven to bake loaves. The 'cob' part of these terms means a small rounded lump, as well as a male swan and a stout variety of horse -
Here an aside. Conrad distinctly remembers reading a collection of ghost stories from the land of the Ockers, which mentioned "The Ghost Of The Trotting Cob", the mere sight of which would curse you to fatal bad luck.
O I've just found another few definitions of 'cobbler'; apparently it's an alcoholic drink, made from sherry, sugar and lemon, and they quote Dickens. In fact they quote from "Martin Chuzzlewit" which I seem to recall is the last novel of his that I've read.
ANYWAY Art!
This looks like blueberry cobbler, which is a kind of baked fruit pie, no crust on the bottom and the crust on top has to be made from individual cobs. Or the Cobbler Police will have you.
There you go, in true BOOJUM! fashion we have opened with a long paean as to what the Intro isn't about, which is how we roll.
Talking of rolling - let us get back to the fascinating and very dangerous world of steel-making, because I'm not done with it yet. As we've already explored, a 'wet charge' can create an enormous explosion that risks destroying the mill, also scattering molten steel fragments across the plant. The way to clear these up is to send a crane equipped with a magnet to trawl across the floor and collect the bits. Art!
You've never seen one of these little dump-trucks reverse so quickly.
That's not the only kind of risk involved in making steel products. O no.
Okay, time for a brief lecture about rolling mills, specialist industrial facilities that process steel. They shape it into desired dimensions, and to do that, the steel has to be red-hot, because otherwise it's un-malleable. This is Red Flag Number One, as red-hot steel is cooking at around 1,200ยบ Centigrade. Art!
Rolling mill
You can see the steel being processed, being fed through rollers to diminish it's proportions. One thing Conrad noticed about this picture is the absence of Hom. Sap. which might well be for 2 reasons: 1) The machinery is all remotely controlled from a central station, and 2) It's extremely Dog Buns dangerous to be in close proximity to tons of red-hot metal moving at high velocity. Art!
End product
What happens when the rollers malfunction? O I thought you'd never ask! If they jam, which happens on a regular basis, then the steel being processed has nowhere to go, and the front end of a line of red-hot steel will jam in the rollers. However - O that word again! - the rest of the steel is still being fed through, at perhaps 40 feet per second, and it hits the stalled steel. With no forward path left, the steel rapidly throws loops and coils across the plant, until there's no more steel left running through the working rollers.
This is most definitely NOT a load of old cobblers, as being hit by a ton of red-hot metal going at 30 miles per hour is going to cut your average Hom. Sap. in half, if not quarters or eighths.
Congratulations - you have just encountered a 'steel cobble'. Sounds innocuous, doesn't it? Well, try wearing a red-hot poker as a fashion accessory and get back to me. Art!
Matey here is casually strolling past this cobble, in a successful attempt to show how cool he is, or - rather worryingly - how frequently they happen. Note the other workers keeping well away. Art!
Very before Things start to go wrong
These people don't hang around in stunned amazement, they bolt in the opposite direction as fast as they can. Good for them! The clock in the upper port quarter informs that they were high-tailing it out in the space of a second.
11 seconds after things go pear-shaped, the end of this particular section of steel arrives and the hazard is at least contained. Art!
I don't think I need to either caption or describe this one. Ouch.
There you have it, yet another hazard in the life of being a steel worker. Handle that knife and fork with a little more respect why don't you?
"The War Illustrated Edition 199 2nd February 1945"
We are still on middle pages montage, for your information. This edition is the first that has mentioned the Teuton's Ardennes offensive in any way, as presumably the editors wanted to wait until they were absolutely certain that the Allies had won, or that at the very least the Teutons had lost. Art!
The caption for this one is a tad misleading, as it states "Vehicles of the relieving division lined up in the town square". Well, NO! The two Jeeps here have their bonnets up and appear to have been sabotaged to prevent any further use. The Greyhound armoured car to port appears to have been burned out after coming under fire. Conrad suspects this is another unit arriving and inspecting wrecked vehicles. Art!
You can see that this Jeep and the one in the background have the 'wire-cutter' uprights welded on, essential to defeat wires dangled across the road at head height for a driver. Also, note that the censor has scratched out the identifying information on this Jeep's bumper, preventing information about it's parent unit being given away.
Seventy-Nine Years Later .....
Today the land of the Teutons is one of the most powerful in Europe, thanks to politics and economics, rather than naked aggression. Or even clothed aggression. Having West and East Germany re-unite did wonders for them, too, as they cast off the Ruffian yoke.
Now, how do they deal with difficult political choices? Art!
Herr Scholtz may in fact be happy to pass on the poisoned chalice, because as a pacifist left-winger, he's not enjoyed having to deal with the Special Idiotic Operation's fallout. BOOJUM! will be happy to advise his successor at modest rates of compensation.
The Farrago Of Neargo
You should surely be aware that Conrad has less than no time for The Nasty Little Man, whom got himself a sinecure at Clacton. Nigel Farage, lest ye be unaware. Art!
Secondly, isn't that an awesome moment captured on camera? A photographer had the presence of mind to get a shot in as the fluid hit the fan. Conrad is unsure what variety of milkshake this is, perhaps Banana or Vanilla? Tut! to those who wish it were Vinegar or Coal.
Finally -
I have had a batch of the Zharkoe, Ukrainian beef and potato stew, for my lunch and it's perfect comfort food for dismal dank rank damp weather as we in This Sceptred Isle are experiencing. No need to add sour cream as this is an ingredient already. Art!
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| Zharkoe in the wild |
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