Paul Simon!
Normally, if this were a conventional BOOJUM! Ol' Paul would be hiding behind the sofa as we mercilessly mocked him in A Little Musical Critique, which he would totally deserve. Today, however - that magic word again! - we are merely using a song title or two of his, because 1) We can, and 2) They're relevant. Art!
This is by way of an intro to the DANGEROUS! Toys Of The Sixties, and you may be ahead of me here when I say this Intro is about the hideously dangerous "Slip 'n' Slide", an apparently harmless children's toy that brought death and disaster in it's wake. Art!
We'll come back to that advisory, O Yes Indeed. I am indebted to "Mental Floss" for in-depth information about this Dodgy Devil's Device. The toy has it's origins with a Mr. Carrier - yes that's really his name - who worked as an upholsterer, and who observed his 10-year old son and friends sliding down a painted concrete driveway, having turned a garden hose onto the surface to remove friction.
Ol' Bob - first name 'Robert' and a splendid first name it is, too - decided to engineer a safer method of sliding on a slick surface, and - Art!
Naugahyde upholstery
He brought home a 50 foot length of naugahyde, which is totally waterproof, then turned one side over and stitched it intermittently. Thus, when a hose was applied to the open end, it lubricated the long stretch of fabric. The device was a draw for all the neighbourhood children, so much so that Ol' Bob patented his device and took the idea to a toy company, who also loved the idea. Art!
What they weren't wild about was the cost of naugahyde, so they substituted plastic and the 'Slip 'N' Slide' went on sale in 1961, and it sold like hot, cold and lukewarm cakes. It is stated that some children added liquid soap to their hosed water to increase their speed.
Sounds great, right?
WRONG! or this wouldn't be an Intro and instead merely an item. Remember this? Art!
The issue here was body mass, as the SNS had been tailored for children with an upper weight limit of 125 pounds. What happened when an adult decided to try out this slippery fun toy? Why, in several cases they came to an abrupt stop that caused permanent damage to their spinal column and inflicted partial or complete paralysis. Conrad cynically wonders if there was beer involved.
Wham-O were concerned enough to take SNS off the market in the late Seventies, without being sued into oblivion, so well done them.
HOWEVER! (yes that word again) Wham-O were bought up by Kransco in 1982, and they brought the SNS back. Art!
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| About the right size of participant |
Things went swimmingly (excuse the pun) until 1987, when an adult user of his neighbour's SNS suffered a broken neck and partial immobility. He promptly sued Kransco, who initially offered $250,000 in compensation, which was rejected. A jury awarded matey $12.3 million, which Kransco negotiated down to $7 million. Art!
What follows next sounds like the negotiation phase of "Escape From Atlantis", because Kransco sued their insurance company, America Empire Surplus Lines Insurance Company. Kransco alleged that they could have settled for $750,000, if AESLIS hadn't fumbled the catch, meaning Kransco had to pay waaaaay above the $1 million they carried in insurance. Kransco won the case and got - waitforitwaitforit - $17 million in compensation. Art!
The Slip 'N' Slayed in action
As if that weren't enough, Kransco got sued again in 1988 by another (adult) victim who had broken their neck on a SNS. This was quite enough for the company and they stopped production and recalled extant stock.
That didn't stop Wham-O from being repeatedly purchased by other companies (four at last count) and still being retailed, because the argument goes that it's perfectly safe for children - provided the slide doesn't end in a skip full of used medical sharps - just not for idiot adults. "They Slip 'N' Slide and that's how they died" is a rather silly epitaph.
Like A Fridge Over Troubled Waters
I did warn you in the Intro. The new fridge has arrived and is a lot more hi-tec than the 21-year old relic that was taken away, which is not hard. Art!
The old device, which was being taken away after being emptied and rendered ice-free and dry. Art!
The interior, with LED lighting and cool air circulation. Speaking of which, I'd better head down to box up the Sunday Stew and check on that dried fruit now soaking in cold Darjeeling tea. For a Barm Brack, since you ask.
Our Journey Onward With Bernard
Just to throw you once again and choose a name that's neither "Bernie" nor "Berni", because that's how we role here at BOOJUM! and yes role not roll. Art!
I've not extracted and enlarged Bern's thoughts on this one, as you ought to be able to read them yourself. Quite what or who the 'Freaks' are is open to question ONCE AGAIN BERNIE because he doesn't explain what the axeman is doing or being done to. Conrad would like to believe it's a Home Woodworking Class being given practical instruction. But that may just be me.
The Haul
From my early finish on Friday, which still seems a bit like cheating even if it isn't. Conrad cannot complain, he's whined repeatedly about working a nine-hour Monday with a seven-hour Friday - except the Planners have one starting at 10:00 in order to finish at 17:00 again.
ANYWAY Art!
This one seems to have been a 2018 re-release of an 2013 original to cash in on the centenary of the First Unpleasantness. Matey here is wearing a gas mask but no Small Box Respirator on the other end. He is wearing a gas mask BUT HAS HIS SLEEVES ROLLED UP which is a big no-no, as
Remember The Triceratops?
It exemplified being stuck on the horns of a dilemma, when the dilemma had only two options for the Putin Fun-Sized Foot Fiddler (he has lifts in his shoes). Either he ditches Assad and Syria because he cannot afford to send troops, tanks or aircraft from his Special Idiotic Operation, or he slackens the pressure on the Ukes. Art!
Another front has been opened, again, because the Georgian people are not happy at being straitjacketed into Ruffian slaves. This is another toxic headache for Putinpot, who cannot now simply send in the Wagner Group as deniable assets.
Finally -
The pundits on Ruffian state television are all praying for January 20th to come, so that their Holy Saviour the Orange Land Whale will rescue them.
Except he doesn't seem to give a stuff about what they think or want. If the Kremlin Gremlin had kompromat on Donald Judas Trump, it has absolutely no value now. Conrad confidently predicts that Pumpkinhead will spend his Presidency playing golf whilst J D Vance does the heavy lifting. Furniture being quite weighty.
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