The Horror Of Huge

Or, If You Want To Be A Pseud, "Megalaphobia"

'The Fear Of Large Objects' if you want to be more down-to-earth about it.

     Why am I yarking on about a word derived from the Greek?  O I thought you'd never ask!  For one thing, I came across a couple of Youtube shorts that went  by the title of "Megalophobia" and which seemed to be a compilation of short animations seeking to scare any viewers witless.  Art!

     This one is quite tame compared to what comes later, which is interspersed with visions of 70 ton ship propellors and tornadoes.  Courtesy @xhuzer_oficial if you need to check this nightmare fuel at source.

     One clip seems to have been inspired by, or is an 'homage' to, the Evil Robot Santa from "Futurama", who was not remotely scary.  This dude, however - Art!

     

     You can guesstimate how freaking large this robot is by comparing it to the parked cars it's passing by.  Whoever is doing the observing is a lot braver than Conrad, who would be down in the basement cowering under the covers at this point.  Then, when it looks as if Bad Santa is heading off down the pavement and out of the neighbourhood, IT STOPS AND TURNS AROUND.  Art!

Squeaky bum time

     Realising that things have gotten pear-shaped with extreme rapidity, the observer promptly hides, and then makes the mistake of emerging from cover to see what's going on - curiosity, the sin of the cat.  Art!

     Methinks the Naughty/Nice algorithm has gone a bit wonky here, replaced by the default KILL ALL CHILDREN REGARDLESS, which is the factory setting for robotic Bad Santas.  Art!

     That's where this clip ends, as Ol' Xhuzzy likes to leave the gory denouement to the viewer's imagination.  Well, all I can say is that this wouldn't have happened to Conrad, quaking beneath his blankets.

     Naturally Your Humble Scribe could not leave things like this, because his fecund mind was ferreting around in search of other sources of megalophobia, which aren't that hard to find if you have certain interests.  The Japanese, after all, have an entire cinematic genre devoted to this very subject: Kaiju.  Art!

Godzilla with puny human patrol boat for scale

     Having invoked the Big Gee, I'm going to do a 138º and instead focus on another kaiju that I'm betting you've never heard of: Moguera.  It's been a couple of decades since I watched the film it appears in, "The Mysterians", yet I still remember it's sheer creepiness.  Art!

ART!

     <sounds of industrial-strength Tazers in use>

     Let's try again, shall we?

     You get a sense of scale from the motorway flyover in shot, rather than a parked car, although Moguera does contemptuously destroy and kick aside a police jeep.  Later on we see it rampaging at night, with what might be called a 'Bad Robot Santa Moment'.  Art!

Those two glowing orbs aren't fireflies

     Whilst it's in operation there's a constant bleeping noise it makes, which only gets louder as it descends upon hapless villagers and townsfolk.  Moguera hasn't an ounce of likeability or nuance to itself, unlike Big Gee, and was designed by the Mysterians for one thing: DESTRCTION.  The fact that it can erupt from a hillside without warning is another creepy factor in the background, adding to the overall sense of unease knowing that it exists.

     I think we'll come back to this subject, it has legs.

Do Mountains Count?

They are pretty obviously enormous objects, but they don't get up and move around, for which we have to be grateful.  The opposite of megalophobia, megalophilia, is certainly true of mountaineers, who can't get enough of the Dog Buns! things, to the extent of falling off them to a messy end.

     ANYWAY that has a limited bearing on a chapter section called "Reflections" in the "Official History Military Operations Italy 1915 - 1919".  Art!

 

     You can tell this is Italy because the forest still resembles a forest, not a collection of upright kindling less than a yard high, and the Brodie p

     ANYWAY The OH puts forth a pretty succinct strategic analysis of Italy and, to a lesser extent, Austria-Hungary.  This latter imperial name is normally considered far too clumsy for constant use and everyone shortened it to "Austrian".  Sorry Czechs and Hungarians.  Art!

     You'll have to imagine the contour lines in the Trentino mountain front.  Here movement was restricted to a few roads and passes whilst on the plains movement was severely hampered by a multitude of rivers that were often giant raging torrents rather than placid waterways (megalophobia anyone?).  To attack Austria, Italy had to fight not merely uphill but upmountain, where the defender held all the advantages.  To counterbalance this, defence on Italian soil favoured the Romans, since they had what strategists like to call 'Interior lines of communication', meaning a shorter route to get anywhere on their front.  The Austrians had to traverse a far longer route betwixt the mountain ranges.  Art!

     The best I could do at short notice.  Don't whinge, it's not as if you have to pay for this scrivel, is it?

     Pre-war, strategists on both sides had pondered about an Austrian offensive from the Trentino heading south-east towards Venice, which would cut off the entire eastern flank of the Italian front.  In theory.  Art!

     As the OH elucidates, such an offensive was a non-starter before it began.  The map above shows the mountains in brown and sepia, where movement was restricted by geography to a limited number of roads and passes.  Not only that, there was only a single Austrian railway supplying this front, which had trouble enough keeping up with day-to-day activities, never mind supplying a major offensive.

     We'll come back to this with a Part 2, as there are a few more worthy reflections awaiting.  I bet you can hardly wait.

Our Journey With Bernie

Nope, no TWI this blog, one item dealing with internecine matters is quite enough per day.  Instead we will have move spine-chilling horror (pronounced "horrOR" for full emphasis not the feeble "horroh" thank you very much.  Let me just do my due diligence and check that Ol' Bern's artwork is actually present and available - yes it is.  Art!

     Not sure if you can read that, I can barely make out that Ol' Bern was going to have more content here, probably in the upper starboard " - furniture, paintings, bric-a-brac" but just gave up.

     The artwork is from a Poe short story, whose title telegraphs that there are going to be MURDERS! so the only mystery is the how and the who and what monkey-business is afoot.

A Schadenfreude Sandwich

With a filling of Karma.  We have mentioned that repellent bottomhole Alex Jones before, a concrete example of the Lowest Common Denominator in human morals, who has been peddling conspiracy theories and snake oil-pills to gullible loonwaffles (swivel eyes optional).  Art!

     The bailiffs arrived in his 'Infowars' studio this week, seizing property - ALL the property - to auction against what he owes various plaintiffs.  For the past two years he's been trying to dodge paying what he owes, which has now cost him his studio and broadcasting ability.  GOOD!  

     Conrad fervently hopes there's an afterlife, because Jones will reap the rewards of slandering the parents of slaughtered children.  Hopefully the Hell Of Upside Down In Boiling Oils Whilst Being Pursued By Giant Evil Santa Robot.

     

Pumpkin Prep

I've found a recipe page for Pumpkin Pie, which also goes into detail about how to roast a pumpkin in the oven in order to bake the flesh, which is a new one to me - up to now Your Modest Artisan has always scooped the flesh out raw, which is a real bore of a chore.  However - first use of this word today - there's no reason to keep the pumpkin intact as Halloween is long gone.

     There may be pictures.  Here's one that's not mine.

Finally -

Early begun, early done.  After a week of 06:45 starts having a sinfully late lie-in at the weekend until 08:30 will be a welcome relief.