NO! This Intro Is Nothing To Do With That Song
Whoever sang it. Conrad can only recall the annoying chorus <sighs heavily> I suppose I shall have to go and dig a little, shan't I? <mutters darkly>.
Ah. Apparently by Pilot, who I seem to recall were Canadian. Or might still be, except their song "Magic" came out in 1975, so they'd be at least in their seventies if they're even still alive. You know how short the lifespan of Canuckistanians involved in the music business is, all those drugs and drinks and late-night parties. Art!
Look! Pilot!
O actually they were Scottish. Caledonian, then. Substitute whisky and porridge for the generic drink and drugs.
ANYWAY allow me to put up a picture of a product Conrad has heard of yet never encountered before. Art!
You may not be familiar with these, either, and Conrad reckons it's a safe bet you don't know where they hail from. No, they are not Teuton or French in origin, nor Dutch or Norwegian. If you're thinking European then you are very much in the wrong tent and the wrong desert. Art!
A tad fuzzy, I'll admit. "Seoul, Korea" if you're having trouble resolving it. Conrad, ever greedy and curious, ventured further. Art!
That's my sugar allowance for the next week, one of these has 12 grams of sugar and corn syrup in it. Should you want to compare it to a Western equivalent, imagine a soft "Wagon Wheel". Quite moreish but my will of steel allows me to merely gaze longingly at the box and the remaining 5 packets.
Why are we celebrating this obscure (in This Sceptred Isle, at least) confectionery? O I thought you'd never ask! Art?
Art!
Well, for one thing, the Choco-Pie was an instrument of brotherly harmony between North and South Korea, when they had the Kaesong Joint Industrial Area as a going concern. This was where Norks slaved away for a potato a day and considered themselves to be luxuriously rewarded for their labours, as their fellow countrymen made do with eating each other*. Into this working environment came the South Korean Choco-Pie, which the Norks fell upon as if 'twere the food of the gods themselves, and Lo! all was well across the land.
As in all Greek tragedies, someone had to meddle with happiness, that someone being the Nork government, who withdrew all their slaves serfs labourers from the JIA. Art!
Kaesong JIA, also known as Shangri-La
Once you have tasted ambrosia, mind, going back to potato - even if cooked - and human flesh just doesn't have the same cachet. Thus, there was an underground movement smuggling Choco-Pies into Norkland. Honest, I'm not making this up. Kim Jong-Un had them banned in 2014 because he hates them, the greedy biffer, and they'd become a substitute currency. Art!
Sorks who want to tweak the tail of the tiger send Choco-Pie shipments by balloon over the De-Militarized Zone into Norkland, which probably melts the pan of The Only Fat Man In North Korea.
Enter the Nork defector, soldier Chong Song of 2017 vintage, who stole a car, drove it into the DMZ, crashed it and then ran south with his erstwhile mates busy shooting him. Either they weren't very good shots or Mr. Song's abiding passion drove him on, since he suffered five bullet wounds but still got to the south side of the DMZ demarcator. Art!
He was in a Lotte trouble
Our protagonist got treated not only for his bullet wounds, but a severe infestation of parasitic worms, hepatitis and tuberculosis. Bear in mind he was one of the Nork elite and imagine the masses who can only dream of a potato - cooked or not.
ANYWAY when he came around from the anaesthetic, Oh - for that is his first name thanks to being Korean - casually requested if he could have a Choco-Pie.
Why certainly! said the Sork company Orion, claiming that they sent him 100 boxes as a brotherly greeting and welcome to South Korea, also making him a star**. Not for the publicity. Despite sending him free Choco-Pies for life. Art!
The chap himself
He might have had trouble adapting to life as a Sork, given the land of plenty he'd arrived in, where you need money to survive (instead of your neighbour's gluteus maximus). Still, you can say he's living the <ahem> Life Of Pi**.
As One Statistic Rises, Another Falls
Conrad checked his traffic on Blogger earlier this evening and Dog Buns! what the dickens is going on here? Art!
Egad, that's after a gap of only a few hours. Art!
About That Fall -
Allow me to present a vlog that "Joe Blogs" put up earlier today, which he'd obviously created many hours earlier, because real life of late has made a habit of discommoding various pundits. Art!
Note that timestamp, which makes it's origin before 13:00 in the afternoon of 27th November 202.
Joe's graphs were valid when he created his vlog, yet but the time I played his vlog back they were out of date. Art!
I can say this because I was taking screenshots of the ratio between the dollar and ruble since 08:00 in the ay-emm. Art!
One possible solution, which smacks of utter desperation, would be for the Central Bank Of Russia to seize all the assets saved by Ruffian citizens in their private bank accounts and keep the ruble afloat that way. Gullible, credulous and witless sheep the Ruffian population may be, but doing this would test even them. Conrad can see all the Ruffian banks refusing to allow any savers to withdraw funds, the better to avoid a run on said banks.
Bring more popcorn!
A Touch More Dignity
Conrad was not impressed with the nomenclature used for our recent extreme weather phenomenon, i.e. Storm "Bert". Calling a system like this by a diminutive cheapens and lessens the awesome majesty and wetness of a storm. Thus we are glad to see another storm proudly flying the banner of aptness. Art!
A considerable improvement. Conrad can afford to be magnanimous about Conall, as it missed us up here in the hills-upon-hills. I'll let you know when Storm Aloysius or Gabblerdictum hits.
O Boy
Elong Tusk is commenting on a Tweet as if he knows what he's talking about, by invoking the name of Judge Dredd.
How ironic that a South African is referencing a character created by a British writer, drawn by a Spanish artist and used as a vehicle to satirise South Canada and it's institutions. Art!
Ol' Stoneyface would not be amused. Neither am I. But - it did allow me to legitimately include a photo from the excellent film.
Finally -
I bought alcohol for the first time in 59 days today, and now have to sit and look at it until Saturday, which my iron will can sustain.
* Possibly not a joke
** Ouch.
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