No, I Don't Think 'Splittery' Is Recognised As A Proper Noun Yet
If it turns up in the next edition of the "Collins Concise Dictionary" then I want royalties.
This whole Intro, and indeed Saturday's blog, has been delayed thanks to Dr. Peter Caddick-Adams, damn his eyes, because he put up a link to "Thunderbirds Unseen" which went into painstaking detail about Thunderbird 2 and it's launch sequence. Art!
Film crew to port, Virgil to starboard
No apologies for destroying your childhood illusions. And let's have the villain of the piece up here in all his be-helmeted glory. Art!
The very bad Doctor
Conrad had NO CHOICE but to watch the whole 17 minutes. So here we are.
ANYWAY back on track, and of late I have had 'Gibbet' on my mind, mostly because one of the claimants I deal with in my Deliberately Anonymous Job lived on 'Gibbet Boulevard'.
Now, this being BOOJUM! and Your Humble Scribe being Your Humble Scribe, we have to firstly define what a 'Gibbet' it, and no, it's not a species of monkey. Yes, you can do the "Funky Gibbet" if you wish, just don't expect us to cover it*. Art!
"A wooden structure resembling a gallows, from which the bodies of executed criminals were hung to public view." It is derived from the Old French 'Gibe', meaning a staff or club. You wouldn't want to join this one.
Typically, a gibbet was used to display the bodies of really hard-core criminals, those guilty of murder, treason, passing port to starboard, piracy, highway robbery, that sort of thing. Their carcasses were left to decompose as A Dreadful Warning, hopefully to deter others from going wandering off the path of righteousness and light, or at least not to stray too far. Art!
For when they meant business
This variation kept the corpse intact, instead of having it decompose and fall apart as the crows got to beaks with it. Public reaction could be mixed, as a decomposing body does not exactly sweeten the air, besides attracting flies and rats, and being executed for gazing longingly at a loaf of bread when starving also roused tempers amongst onlookers.
Where do the terminalogical inexactitudes come into play? Well, about that word 'Gallows', because whilst there is a certain overlap between a gallows and a gibbet, they are different in purpose. Art!
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| From the worrying Wikihow on 'Build Your Own Gallows! Hours Of Fun!' |
From the Old Norse 'Galgi' and not to be confused with the Irish 'Gallowglass', which is from the Gaelic "Galloglach" meaning "Armed foot-soldier". The definition is of "A wooden structure usually consisting of two upright posts with a crossbeam, used for hanging criminals". Phew, thanks for not hanging the innocent. Art?
The madness of 'Suspended Sentence' awaits a different BOOJUM!
The gallows, you see, was designed to bring about a quick and merciful end, by having the criminal fall from height and have their neck snapped, leading to instant death. People who took their Christianity seriously were also very disapproving of the gibbet, feeling that death was punishment enough and that haling a body around to rot for months was going a tad too far in terms of legal reproof. Art!
It has to be said, the gallows has had a far greater impact on culture than the gibbet, as per the track above. This is a traditional English folk-song, which Led Zep wrassled into a rocked hat, about a man about to be hung from the gallows pole, desperately hoping for a last-second reprieve. SPOILER ALERT he gets hung. You don't hear people cackling with 'Gibbet humour', do you? No. For the very good reason that it doesn't exist. 'Gallows humour', of a dark and sinister variety, most certainly does exist, as exemplified in Ambrose Bierce's "Devil's Dictionary" where every other entry exhibits same. Art!
"Air, n. A nutritious substance supplied by a bountiful Providence for the fattening of the poor."
For those who are still at liberty and full of life with all their limbs attached, very much against the flow of justice and fairness, the description 'Gallows bird' is applied. One can think of a certain Titanic Terran Toxic Toad whom fits this description to a tomato (because it has 3 't's in it). Art!
Sometimes the AI hits it dead centre
Now, there will be a few readers who will take me to task over the image above, claiming that it depicts a frog, not a toad, which we <Cont. page 96>
The Deadly Dalliances Of DEATH!
Back to the free-for-all in the Sixties toy-store, where but lightly-regulated manufacturers sought to soak parents by peddling expensive and dangerous toys for little Timmy and Tammy. Could you, as a parent, withstand the looks of saddened disappointment on Christmas morning when your children didn't get their 'Kray-Zee Nitro-Glycerine Squirt Gun'? Art!
The box cover, with cheerful BOY NO GIRLS ALLOWED demonstrating a plethora of artefacts he's produced. I don't see any warnings about age limits, hot surfaces or toxic fumes. Art!
They caved. I see his sister has joined in the fun.
I cannot find any details or statistics about burns, scalds, lung damage, impaired vision or hallucinations caused by this kit, so perhaps it wasn't too deadly. On the other hand, you have an extremely hot plate (150º C) with no guards open to abuse or carelessness or - Conrad shamefacedly hold his hand up - innate clumsiness.
They were discontinued decades ago yet are still in use by modellers and hobbyists as they were well-made, although wiser adults remove the hand pump used to create the vacuum part of 'Vac' and use a hoover instead.
Enough text! Pictires, Art, Pictures!
Our Journey With Bernie
Rather surprisingly, we are now up to Number #39 in this initial sequence of Berni Wrightson FPG trading cards from 1993, which implies we've been putting them up here for at least 39 weeks, or most of 2024. Art!
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| "Amphibious Indigents" |
I've read "The Shadow Over Innsmouth" by H. P. Lovecraft and these coves look a lot more sinister and deadly than the feeble frog-folk I remember. No, I'm not going to relate the whole story to you, go buy it yourself. Abebooks is your friend.
Ooo-err Matron!
You may remember AND YOU OUGHT TO if you want your descendants to live outside the uranium mines when I take over, that the Ruffian ruble has been having a torrid time of it of late. When last Conrad checked on Wednesday evening, it was trading at ₽114 to the $.
Today it seems to have recovered a bit. Art!
The RCB is still mulling over increasing their interest rate in December, when it already stands at an eye-watering 21%.
Memo to self; lay in extra popcorn for 01/01/2025
Intre Timp In Romania .....
There's been a lot of very odd goings-on in Romania's Presidential election, as a nobody with no party and no history and no political experience suddenly became the front-runner in their elections for Prez.
The suspicion that the long, grubby talons of Muscovy have been at play is strong in Bucarest, and so - Art!
Well well well. We shall see what we shall see!
Finally -
Prepping for new fridge is well underway. You will be kept up to date.
Chin chin!
* A joke only very old people will understand.
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