Search This Blog

Friday, 22 November 2024

If I Were To Say "Dyna-Soar"

"Let Me Roar!"

You'd probably think I'd been at the cooking sherry again.  Not So!  For one thing, it's still Remember Remember No Drinky November, and we have - I think - mentioned this aero-spatial project in the past.  Because it was an actual design, not merely a spelling mistake.  If Art will put down that fuel-rod he's sucking the innards from -


     That's the X-20 to port, looking very much like it was intended to, a space-plane.  To starboard you can see it sitting atop it's launch vehicle, a Titan III missile, where it ascends vertically until separation.  Once in orbit it would carry out the main mission and then return to earth by gliding back to a landing.  Whoever came up with the hideous pun "Dyna-Soar" could have had a career writing for comics, as it derives from the quite-serious full appellation "Dynamic Soarer".  Art!

With puny humans for scale

     That's a full-scale mock-up, because the whole thing was cancelled in 1963 just as construction work was going to begin, which is a real shame given that it was at least twenty years ahead of it's time.  Seeing it during re-entry would have been like watching the chariot of Helios descend into Hades - Art!

When they make scale models of your project, you've arrived

     I used the euphemism 'Main mission' above, since this was a child of both the Cold War and the South Canadian Air Force, so it was not intended to distribute sweeties and fidget-spinners.  The various military tasks slated for it were reconnaissance, bombing (more probably 'missiling'), destroying enemy satellites, destroying any Sinister equivalent space-planes, defending and maintaining South Canadian satellites and flying the flag for Uncle Samuel.

     Now, strange to say, Conrad can also think of another iteration of a dinosaur being used for martial endeavours, this time in a wholly fictional setting.  Art!


     It's been a long time since I read this in my Comic Cavern.  Let me recall; humanity survives on a collection of giant space stations that orbit the abandoned planet, which are now severely overcrowded and beginning to break down.  A lucky group of the volunteered are sent to check if the planet is a viable option to return to.

     Well, they find the above: dinosaurs have (partially) conquered the earth.  They are the descendants of cloned dinos that were bred to be <drum roll> weapons.  The script was rather hazy about how they were going to be used as weapons, and there are quite enough Hom. Sap. around sporting hi-tec weapons to seeminly prove that Deadly Dino Detachment Delta was a bit of a bust.  Art!


     Call me old-fashioned but I still think guns and missiles will triumph over teeth, talons and claws, unless the latter are tipped with borazon.  A tip Your Humble Scribe hopes the Coincidence Hydra never learns of.  Art!


     Look away, Vulnavia!  Those dinosaurs are naked!

     Conrad has just discovered, to his muted horror, that 'Psychonauts' is from 1993, before Darling Daughter was born and when his hair was brown, not white.  Egad the time, how it flies!

     Which brings us bang up to date, for "Jurassic World" (2015) also bought into the dinosaurs as extra-large guard dogs trope.  Apologies if my précis is a bit thin, I've not seen the film and don't intend to.  Art!

Vinnie!

     I'm afraid I thought 'villain of the piece' as soon as I saw Vincent D'Onofrio's name in the credits, and do you know, I was right.  He plays Vic Hoskins, the Corporate Bad Guy, who witnesses raptors being trained and immediately leaps to the conclusion "Boy those would make great weapons!"  Art?


     No, no, that's Owen, the Corporate Employee With A Conscience, and he's training the raptors, not being dinner for them.  Yes, apparently in this reality raptors are incredibly intelligent and can be trained, but only if the trainer is a leading star; other minions beware.  

     Trained to what end, one wonders?  That slapping sound you can hear is palaeontologists facepalming, because this is more of a fantasy than Harry Potter.  Art!


     This is the Special MacGuffin Dino, and you can't blame Ol' Vic for thinking these saurians might make a decent kamikaze weapon in frontline combat <Conrad bites tongue hard> because this one is not only intelligent and capable of forward planning, it can (consults notes) conceal it's heat signature and camouflage itself.  

     To what end?  SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT SPOILER ALERT I did warn you.  This - er - 'stealth' dinosaur is a fully-grown adult, and has thus been around for years and years.  Before it engineered it's escape, did nobody notice these abilities that enabled it to hide in an enclosure?  Where are the motion sensors?  Art!


     Remember these from "Jurassic Park"?  A fully-grown T Rex makes their contents ripple.  What, can the Super MacGuffin Dino turn off gravity and fly as well?

     Bah!  To think this pile of ordure made $1.67 billion at the box office.  Dino-Sore.

     Of course, I could be overthinking this .....


The Lunatics Are Back

They seem to have a time-sharing agreement with the asylum management, and their time has come   Earlier in November a huge host of Ruffian bots and trolls abandoned Twitter, and my Blogger traffic immediately declined to sensible levels.

     Alas no longer!  Art?

     It's flattering but wrong (I think).  The last few mornings it's been 25 or 40, certainly NOT numbering in the thousands.  Personally I blame Elong Tusk.

"The War Illustrated Edition 197 5th January 1945"

This will be the last photograph from this edition and we can all look forward to the next one, can't we gentle readers? whether you want to or not.  Art!


     That schematic is very accurate, as by this date the Teutons had been hitting the UK and other targets on the Continent for a good 5 months, and enough had been recovered to analyse the missile in detail.

     The 'photograph' below is alleged to come from a reconnaissance flight over Peenemunde in Germany, which seems rather far fetched as it's much too low and at an angle, when recon aircraft flew at height and took pictures from directly overhead.

     None of the blurb mentions that the V2 was unstoppable by conventional means, which is what the readers of TWI would be more interested in.  

     NB I have come across another photo on the back cover that I'll be using, so disregard all the guff above about how this is the very last picture.


Excuse Me?

Your Humble Scribe just had to add this one in, as you ought to already know what I think about cryptocurrency, captured in our ineffable scrivel term "Scamble".  Art!


     For him to have any influence at all I'd have to know who on earth he is.  A variety of celebritute one assumes?  The 'Bah!' here goes without saying, except I've said it.


Our Journey With Bernie

Yes, I have randomly added on an 'e' today, just out of spite.  Tee hee!

     I have also done due diligence and yes, #37 "Lower Berth" is present on teh Interwebz.  Art!



     <sigh> the curse of the artist, telling you 'how' but not 'what'.  One supposes the picture itself is supposed to tell the story.  So, Olaf here has gone venturing into the local caves, and has found an empty coffin.  Clearly this has been growing there until maturity, and Olaf can now reap the harvest and live in comfort for the rest of his life.

     Or, whatever was in the coffin is still lurking around and Olaf better beat it smartish if he doesn't want to end up needing a coffin himself.


"Odalisque"

Another of those random words that pop up in my mind out of nowhere, this one during my toasting of the bread earlier this morning.  Without access to either internet or my Collins Concise, I thought it might be a piece of statuary, thanks to the '-isque' ending.

     Not at all, although the real definition does have '-isque' about it, in the sense of 'risque'.  Allow me: "A female slave or concubine".  I know what all you slobbering perverts are expecting, which you're not going to get as BOOJUM! remains resolutely SFW.  Art!





     And with that we are done!

No comments:

Post a Comment