Go East

Contrary To The Flat-Earthers

If you keep going like east you won't fall of the edge of the world, you will end up heading west and eventually return to where you started, like Phineas Fogg and his faithful dog*.

     That's just to get us all up to speed on east and west, because we shall be coming back to these geographical terms, O yes indeed!  Art?

     Behold the East River of New York.  In fact it's not a river, despite the Gothamites dubbing such.  In reality it's a tidal estuary, meaning that it rises and falls during the day, with strong tides and stronger currents, and it leads out to Long Island Sound and the Atlantic Ocean.  Bear that in mind.

STEALTH CAMPING!

I suppose that ought to be done in camouflage green-on-brown, but if I did that you'd not be able to see it.  

     ANYWAY, stealth camping is camping done by campers who ought not, or should not, be camping where they are, due to it being illegal or doing it without the landowner's permission.  Doing stealth camping in England or Wales is very definitely illegal, which hasn't stopped people posting their vlogs on Youtube about how they successfully camped overnight on a large roundabout.  Art!

Wildbeare with naked unencumbered tree trunk

     This young lady is Claire Wildbeare, whom we have covered in the past.  CW loves camping out in the wilds, solo, and documenting her experiences on her Youtube channel "Wildbeare".  No, she does not flounce around in a negligée to boost traffic, as I have seen thumbnails of other female 'campers' who do this.  Art!

     Here she is with her shelter, which has been disguised with camo netting, and a few handfuls of thrown leaves.  From fifty yards away you cannot distinguish it from the forest background, which is one iteration of stealthy.

     No, this Intro is not about Claire.  Stop looking sad!  Instead we will turn our faces to the east and travel across the globe until we hit New York and the East River.  Art!

     You can probably guess where this is going.  Meet "Wes Wherever" of that very same Youtube channel, as he slides his canoe into the East River on a Saturday.  Art!

     That's the Manhattan skyline.  Note the lowering sun, as the shades of evening are drawing in, and not by accident.  Nor is it a coincidence that Wes is paddling upon the river at the weekend.  For one thing, there are going to be far fewer people in the tower blocks and office skyscrapers that abut the river, and thus fewer prying eyes to see what he's up to.  Conrad isn't sure whether there's less marine freight traffic at the weekend, though this is a fair guesstimate, balanced by the increased numbers of leisure boats bobbing about on the briny.  Art!

     This is Belmont Island, Wes's destination.  As his Youtube blurb informs one, this is an artificial island that was created by mined material excavated for a subway tunnel beneath the river.  It has no commercial use and only serves as a roost and refuge for cormorants.  IT IS ILLEGAL TO LAND ON IT!

     Now, you ought to remember that Conrad mentioned tides and currents in the East River, which Wes is paddling against, so his progress is quite slow, which again is what he's planned for.  Art!

Criminal mastermind revealed

     By this time the sun has now set behind all the Manhattan skyscrapers, and dusk is setting in, which means a lower quality of light and thus less chance of being spotted doing what ought not to be done.  Wes also adds that he's going to wait for boat traffic to diminish, so there's less chance of being run down by a 5,000 ton freighter or being reported to the Coast Guard.  Art!

Landfall!

     Wes drags his canoe ashore and keeps clear of the cormorants, then sets up away from them, amidst the rat and fish carcasses that the birds have decorated Belmont Island with.  Not a pleasant olfactory environment quite besides the smell of riverine estuary at your nostrils.  Art!

     It's an incredible backdrop, no denying, but if your idea of a great Saturday night is sitting eating cold pizza in the dark on an uneven ground that smells of sour fish, whilst keeping an eye open for the Coast Guard and NYPD, then you and Wes are made for each other.  Art!

     Early to bed, and early to rise, keeps Wes away from NYPD eyes.  He hit the sack at 22:20, thanks to having to get up at 04:45 next morning, in order to strike camp and be on his way before anyone notices his tent and canoe.  Art!

     Master-criminal makes clean getaway!  Remember, Vulnavia, Proper Planning Prevents Police Patrol Presence

Here Be Karens

 A 'Karen', for your information, is an entitled bottomhole who knows, not thinks, that the world revolves around them, that they are automatically the smartest person in the room, and that the medieval system of obedient serfs and lackeys needs to come back soonest.  Art!

In all her snorting glory

     Karens range all over the globe, with the most numerous sightings in the wild being in South Canada, but we get there here in This Sceptred Isle, too.  Here is a case in point, which also serves to point out the difference between management here and in South Canada.  Related by a third party on Quora.  Art!

     TPOQ was present when a Karen was roundly and soundly abusing a girl on the till (which is a 'checkout' for our South Canadian readers), for whatever reason, or none at all, as Karens are like that.  Insufferable.

     O my!  Along comes the Store Manager, whom is the Big Dog in all stores, where what he says is verily gospel.  He's heard and seen Karen being objectionable, so he interrupts and uses his SM authority to void the sale.

     Karen is smirking at this, expecting a free weekly shop.

     WRONG!

     O so very wrong.  Let me add in what TPOQ heard them say: "how effing dare you talk to my staff in that manner, now get your arse  bottom out of this store, you are banned for life, if you are seen here i will have you arrested. " looked at her "what part of GTFO did you not understand"

     We will not elaborate on the acronym here.

     After this verbal scorching Karen did depart, smartish, whereupon TPOQ congratulated the young woman on the till on having such a supportive manager.

     "I know, that's my Dad," she replied.

     <bdum-ching>

"The War Illustrated Edition 197 5th January 1945!

There are only a couple of photographs left that I took of this edition, so let's roll with one of them.  Art!

     They're a bit late with this news, the 7.2" was in action in North Africa in 1943 I'll have you know.

     This cannon was one of the banes of the Teutons, being able to deliver a 200-pound shell out to 16,000 yards (none of that Metric nonsense here), with a rapidity and accuracy that, once again, made their hapless victims think they were belt-fed, like a machine gun.

     The 7.2 was an upcycled version of the old First Unpleasantness 8" howitzer, having the barrel re-lined and thus decreased in calibre.  The carriage was not amended in any way, which meant that when larger charges were used to produce longer range, the gun recoiled violently backwards - see picture one.  And yes, those gunners in picture 3 are giving their shells a loving brush-down and clean.  Very bad practice to have anything foul the barrel, doncha know.  Art?

World's most famous 7.2" gunner at work

Just To Salt The Wound A Little

"It will get worse" and it's already bad enough.  Art!

     Dimya has mysteriously vanished from the news of late.  This is because he doesn't like to be associated with bad news, either economic or STORM SHADOWS WREAKING HAVOC on Modern-day Mordor <ahem> as they have of late.  Ten of 'em!  Aaaaaaand where's your mighty nuclear response, Dimya!  Dimya?  Are you there?

From Salt To Sweet

I did forewarn you about this, so here is my latest Mug Cake Bake: Gingerbread, with sweetener substituted for sugar and only half the icing they required.  Art!

     

Finally -

I think that's enough of good and bad taste for one day.  Pip pip!

*  I've no idea if he had a dog or not, but it rhymes.