Why Yes, Tarquin, The Peons Do Enjoy Seeing You Muck It Up
To be honest, I've nothing against 'Tarquin', I was just feeling a little malicious about his rise to a position where he can inflict real damage on the company. This is the 'Peter Principle' in action.
So, let me hit an aside here. Art!
Why famous faces are popping up mega-sized on UK streets
Conrad had no idea who this was, so they can't be that famous, can they? Apparently this is someone called Solomon Kane, who fights demons - no, hang on, hang on - Ah! It's Harold Edward Kane, I do beg your pardon. He plays the ballfoot game, allegedly, and is a dab hand (or foot) at putting the pig's bladder in the back of the onion bag (it says here).
ANYWAY I have a sterling story from Quora for you, that sprang from the question "Have you ever worked with someone who deliberately tried to get you fired?"
Okay, imagine an engineering firm. They make widgets out of Sprong, with a side business in McGuffins and offogs. Art!
Original Poster was the Purchasing Manager there; his job was to run the purchasing team, keep track of what was ordered and paid for and delivered, negotiate with suppliers and generally keep the financial wheels a-turning.
Then came the dread term "New Owners", including a new President. Manglement bottomholes like this always like to throw their weight around in the beginning, to show who's boss and how their metaphorical broom is going to sweep sweep sweep.
They swept. They fired the General Manager and then the Engineering Manager, and OP suspected he would be up for the chop soon. Not an inspiring thought to head to your office with of a wet grey Monday morning. Art!
"Dave silently vowed to join the French Foreign Legion next Tuesday"
OP came onto the President's radar and was peremptorily asked at a staff meeting 'When are you going to start doing your job?'. OP bluntly responded with 'Which part am I not doing?' Collapse of stout party, Prez clears his throat and changes the topic.
The next week, at the following staff meeting, Prez asks the same question, with an actual example of what needed to be done.
'It's done,' said OP. Prez sent a hireling off to see if this was indeed so, and when the hireling reported back that it was so, he got shouted at - to save Prez face, one feels. Seeing where this will end up, OP is now actively looking for another job.
At the next staff meeting, Prez asks his favourite question again, to which OP responds with a citric critique of what he's achieved and asks what Prez had managed (apart from posturing and looking foolish). Prez picks his jaw up from the floor, and is so confounded by a minion fighting back that he leaves the meeting. Probably got a little something in his eye, too ..... Art!
Two weeks later OP has a solid job offer elsewhere and hands in his notice, glad to be moving on.
His revenge was that it took three people to replace him; that and the fact that his old business went bankrupt four years later. Yeah, firing or driving off your senior managers will do that to a company. Manglement at it's finest!
"The War Illustrated"
Don't forget, gentle reader, that we are now at the beginning of 1944. The Axis have been kicked out of North Africa, Sicily has been liberated and the Allies are slowly conquering Italy. There was the Eastern Front too, but I can't be bothered to cover that. Things were also kicking off in the Pacific. Art!
Yes, it says "January 7th 1944" but please bear in mind that the photos within will be from December or even November of 1943. Not only to ensure that the Axis didn't squeeze any useful information from them, but also because you're dealing with mailing stuff from front line to This Sceptred Isle. In this picture you can see Winnie poking about in Valleta, the great Maltese harbour that had taken an appalling pounding by the Axis air forces. Art!
I wanted to get this photo in to show how bad the terrain and weather could be in Italy. For most of the peninsula, mountain ranges and rivers run east and west from the centre to the sea, making barriers that have to be crossed. The going in the above photo is so bad that a Sherman tank has bogged down and is having to be recovered by the crew. On the path is a company of mules, carrying ammunition and you don't see any of them bogged down. In fact, in conditions like this it was only possible to supply front line units in the mountains by mule train.
Immortalised!
Something Went Badly Right
As you should surely know by now, Conrad is wary of the blog becoming too popular, because he ceaselessly slanders the FSB, The Metro, First Bus and Russell Brand, all of whom doubtless have retained lawyers.
So, seeing this was a tad worrying. Art!
I Warned You
Your Humble Scribe did mention that my version of Bigos was on the go yesteryon; I add jalapenos to give it a little bite, and throw in a noodle cake to soak up excess liquid, and whatever meats we have in the fridge that look old and lonesome. Art!
This time I was able to add in proper Kielbasa, which I purchased from Sainsbo's; it looked like a giant truncheon made of meat. Plus a whole large jar of sauerkraut. 'Pig and stodge' opined Rosie of Teuton cuisine, which I think is typical of Eastern European cuisine generally.
Next Thing You Know It'll Be SKYNET!
Conrad had heard of this thing called ChatGPT, if a little vaguely, in the same sense that he'd heard of Storm Shadow and knew it to be a missile and that was pretty much it. Art!
It sneaked into existence last year and apparently the foolish amongst Hom. Sap. have been asking it questions, because it's answers sound like another person responding back to you. Doubtless the feedback loop that this creates will be further sharpened by the algorithm and eventually, in less than a decade, you won't know who's a human or who's a bot on the internet.
THIS IS NOT GOOD! NOT GOOD AT ALL!
You see, ChatGPT has already learned to lie. Conrad well remembers a strip from the early years of '2000 AD' where a crucial plot point was the inability of robots to rebel against their fleshy masters BECAUSE THEY COULD NOT LIE.
The BBC has highlighted the hilarious irony of a pair of South Canadian lawyers set to be sanctioned if not disbarred, because they relied upon ChatGPT to source legal precedence in other cases similar to the one they were prosecuting. Well, ChatGPT plain up lied about half a dozen cases that were completely fictional, but it did so in an earnest voice that oozed with sincerity. Art!
CAUTION! Do not trust.
Finally -
We like to finish with small matters of domestic concern, so allow me to inform you that Your Modest Artisan is going to scrape the bristles from his face and venture into Babylon-Lite (Oldham if we're being formal) in order to GIVE AWAY BOOKS to one of the charity shops. I can't promise not to immediately buy more be strong, Conrad, be strong.
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