Russia On Fire!

Every Word True -

Just not how you were expecting.  No!  This Intro is nothing to do with the war in Ukraine - ooops I just got a seven year jail sentence - nor Ruffians sabotaging trains and planes.  Instead I wanted to explore the topic of - Art?

RUSSIAN VOLCANOES!

     This is a corollary of 'Russian earthquakes' that I was digging up info about, because 1)  Why not? and 2) That's how my mind works*.

     It transpires that, in European Ruffia, earthquakes are vanishingly rare.  Much as in This Sceptred Isle, I suspect, except where they  try fracking (a subject worthy of a whole Intro in itself).  However, if you look at a graphic that displays the "Ring Of Fire" - Art!

     You can see where the Eurasian Plate butts up against the Pacific Plate, causing all sorts of interesting tectonic activity such as subduction - and earthquakes.

     Put a pin in that, we'll come back to it.  Instead, let us skip lightly o'er the landscape and arrive in the picturesque Caucasus, the land of mountains, internecine warfare since time immemorial and nice wines (thank you, Georgia).  It's a bit of a stretch calling this 'European Ruffia' but if Eurovision can get away with it, so can we.  Art!

     The Caucasus is home to the only two volcanoes that European Ruffia can lay claim to: Mount Elbrus and Kazbek.  Elbrus is on the Ruffian side of the border and is regarded as dormant, having last popped it's top in 50 AD.  Conrad is unsure how long it takes for 'dormant' to become 'extinct.  Art!

     Kazbek is in Georgia, so it's a good job it's a whacking big stratovolcano, otherwise the Ruffians would probably have stolen it under some pretence ("We loaned it to you in 1457 and now we're taking it back").  Like the rest of Georgia, it has all sorts of legends and romances told about it.  The name means 'Nobleman' and may have been dubbed thus thanks to - you may be ahead of me here - a nobleman who domiciled himself on the mountain.  Art!

     This volcano seems even less impressive than Elbrus, since the last recorded eruption was 2,273 years ago in 750 BC.  However, back in 2002 the release of volcanic gasses caused the collapse of the Kolka Glacier, even though there was no subsequent eruption.  Art!

     Glacier is at bottom port.

     That's it for European Ruffia.  There are nine volcanoes in eastern Siberia, three of which are definitely extinct as their last eruptions pre-date Hom. Sap.  The others aren't that interesting, but I will detail one as an example: Aluchin.  Art!

     Actually we won't, there don't seem to be any pictures of it at all.  Mind you, it was only discovered in 1957 so it can't be that impressive and it probably hasn't been active since before the Norman Invasion.  Let's have Balagan-Tas instead.  Art!

     To give one a sense of scale, this geographical pimple is 300 yards high and last went off in 1775.  It was only discovered in 1939, so again not especially active or impressive, although one reason for not being discovered sooner is that this is in one of the incredibly thinly-populated areas of Siberia.  Art!

Not exactly in the heart of a metropolis

     Now, when it comes to the Kamchatka Peninsula and the Kurile Islands, O Boy, talk about an embarrassment of riches - more volcanoes than you can shake a stick at, and plenty of these are active angry little fire-cones of fury.  We'll cover these in more detail at a later date, but to keep your spirits up, here's Karymsky in hot pyroclastic action.  Art!

     Motley, I fancy a cone.  Kindly provide.

"Die Zauberflotë"

Which you will recognise as the Teuton for "The Magic Flute", one of Wolfie's last works before he pegged it.

     Conrad, and probably you the reader, was wondering at what point this enchanted instrument appears, so I continued reading about Tamino.  He wakes up from his temporary coma and encounters Papageno, a bird-catcher (a quaint eighteenth century career), who claims to have killed the pursuing serpent.  Art!

     Up pop the three attendants to the Queen Of The Night, who chastise Papa for lying through his teeth, sealing his lips with a padlock.  Hey, whatever piercings float your boat.  They then show Tamino a portrait of Pamina, the daughter of TQOTN, which causes him to instantly fall in love with her.  

     Gee, can you say 'shallow' loudly enough?  Tam, Tam, Tam, man - this is a painting NOT a photograph, she could have a face like the back end of a bus for all you know.  

     Still no flute, magic or otherwise.

More Baroque Star Art

Conrad is unsure if Ol' Amaddy can be considered a baroque composer or not.  Pretend that he is, then that makes a clever segue into the AI fun-fest that follows.  Art!

     Hmmmmm nope.  Still Dog Buns scary despite the embroidery.  Art!

     O yes indeed!  He looks like one of the generals at the court of Friedrich Der Grosse, lean, ascetic and skilled in the art of mid-eighteenth century warfare.

Here's One We've Not Seen In Months

Absent for no particular reason, here we re-introduce "The War Illustrated" from Conrad's ten-volume collection.  Art!

December 24th 1943, Issue 170

     Here you have a montage of the Kiwis having dinner on the quayside, having their Sherman tanks shipped as freight, going aboard and marching north from the Italian port of Taranto, having left North African shores for good.  The chap in the middle is General Freyberg, who was tougher than a pair of old boots and whom had come up through the ranks in the First Unpleasantness as a Sub-lieutenant in the Royal Naval Division.

     The Polite Australians were excellent soldiers, being an all-volunteer force like the Ockers and Canuckistanians, with consequently high morale and performance.  The Teutons were especially afraid of their Maori battalions, and with good cause.

"The Sea Of Sand"

The Doctor is trying to perk Sarah up a little, after she read documents that showed her two erstwhile Italian comrades had both perished later in wartime.

What the Doctor wondered, and might never discover, was why the two Italians had changed sides, volunteering to fight against their former allies and in concert with former enemies.  Perhaps his parting words about what the future held for them bore fruit.  Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps.

          ‘Did – or does – Professor Templeman survive?’ asked Sarah.  She wasn’t especially fond of the big old oaf, but someone from their comrades ought to survive.

          ‘Eh? Oh, the Professor.  Yes, he does.  Never quite the same afterwards, the university establishment always thought of him as “odd” after his desert adventure.  Went to Israel, if my memory serves correctly.’

          ‘And - ’ began Sarah, before the Doctor waved an irritated hand.

          ‘Yes! Yes, the bio-vore Farmers will successfully overthrow their slave-and-cull society.  Might take as long as a year, but it will happen.  Hopefully without too much bloodshed.’

          With a nod of approval, Sarah headed off to have a shower.  She was filthy, dirty, sandy and dried-out.  Emotionally she felt wrung-out.  She now began to understand why the Doctor hated war and conflict so much.  Before she closed the door the Doctor caught her with a verbal Partian shot.

          ‘Oh, you might care to know,  Angelina Piccoli will have a son who helps to establish the North African Irrigation Project.  Imagine that, wheatfields in the heart of the Sahara.  Angelina Piccoli, nee Dominione.’

          ‘How I can appreciate that!’ said Sarah over her shoulder.  ‘Water, precious water.’

     Only one bit of Epilogue left until TSOS is completely done.

     Don't worry, I have more waiting in the wings.

Finally - 

Normally Your Humble Scribe takes a constitutional stroll into Lesser Sodom on a Sunday afternoon, for exercise and to see what's going cheap at the Co-Op.  However, today I am sole guardian of Edna and don't think it's entirely fair that she should pine for probably an hour until I get back.

     See?  See how thoughtful I am?

     <Nah, simply lazy - the ghastly truth courtesy Mister Hand!>

*  I think.