The Ravioli Of Revenge

Revenge Is Best Served Hot With A Side Salad

You ought to be aware by now that Conrad is overly fond of reading Revenge and Malicious Compliance stories on Youtube's various Reddit channels.  DO NOT FOLLOW MY EXAMPLE! because they eat up the whole day.  Seriously, you can sit down to look at one - just one - and suddenly it's dark outside.

     ANYWAY Art!

Home-made ravioli

     This is home-made ravioli.  Making this stuff is Dog Buns hard, I know because I've tried to make the pasta and got nowhere with it.  

     So this particular revenge story begins with the Original Poster not getting on with her obnoxious Sister In Law, because of her entitled, arrogant attitude - a woman who had never been told 'no'.  OP, husband and friends had a dinner party after lockdown ended, where OP had hand-made ravioli.  Suddenly SIL turns up, uninvited, and husband refuses to boot her out, claiming it would be 'humiliating'.  The food is laid out and OP goes back into the kitchen to get parmesan - only to hear a loud 'clang' as SIL deliberately 'accidentally' knocked the ravioli all over the floor, then tried to shrug it off.  Art!

I leave the words to your imagination

     Predictably, OP lost it and verbally assaulted SIL, who left in tears.  

     Don't sit down, it's only starting.  Hubby Dear thought OP was being way too emotional, so next day, on his day off, OP had him make ravioli from scratch to see what was involved.  At 30 minutes he was still cocky.  At 60 minutes his arms were getting cramp from making enough dough for 60 ravioli.  After 4 hours he had made the ravioli - but not the sauce to go with them, nor a side salad, nor prepped the shrimps by which point tears were on the horizon.

     After this HD decided to re-evaluate his relationship with SIL.  He also got a message recorded by his cousin of SIL gleefully admitting the spillage was deliberate.  Oooops.  Art!

It took 16 hours to make these*

     We're nowhere near done here.  HD went round to confront SIL, who denied everything - until he played the recording, at which point she threw a tantrum.  MIL promptly took SIL's side and yarked at HD for choosing (excuse me?) his wife over his sister, which sounds rather creepy if you ask me**.  I should point out here that SIL is 31, not 17.  HD then said he was going Non-Contact with his family, who immediately started abusing OP via phone.  Art!

     Still not done!   A few weeks later their friend was staying over, and her car was badly vandalised: sides keyed, windows spray painted, tyres slashed.  It seems SIL and BIL mistook it for OP's car, as both were black.  Sadly for these sad sacks OP's house had security cameras and it was all recorded.  The cops got involved and SIL's insurance paid for the damage.  Not only did the sad sacks get arrested, BIL got fired as a result of it.

     Aaaaaand that's not all.  Brenda, HD's cousin, kept OP informed about things.  It seems the maternal grandmother, in front of the family, tore the MIL a new one, revealing that SIL was an affair baby.

     And all because of -

I Should Probably Explain

Since I am all-wise and all-knowing and you're not.  "Creepy Pasta" is a website that features horror stories of various sorts.  Art!

     A warning if you go there: it's infested with all sorts of pop-ups and adverts, which kind of spoil the moment.  I mean, it's hard to experience pant-wetting terror when getting bombarded with offers of "$100,00 to invest in stocks!!!" and yes they do use triple exclamation marks, the dirty curs.

     Here's Conrad's attempt at a Creepy Pasta:

     "There was a knock at the door.  But there was nobody there."

O Boy

You remember that waste of space Alex Jones?  The punitive damages awarded against him came out yesteryon, and they total £35 million.  How much of that will actually get paid is open to question, as the trial is in Texas and their judicial system places a monetary cap on awards.  Still, that's not small.  Conrad also wonders about the two forthcoming defamation trials, because does this one establish a precedent?  Art!

     And I found Commenters who were clearly AJ fans! which also means they're pretty dim.  One of them claimed AJ wouldn't pay a dime because it was a mistrial and he was illegally declared guilty by the judge and AJ would win on appeal.

     Er - no.  First of all, as another Commenter in touch with reality pointed out, it's a civil case; there is no such thing as a 'guilty verdict', only a 'judgement of liability'.  The Waste Of Space lost his first trial for failing to turn up in court or deliver discovery evidence, which is when he did indeed try to claim a mistrial, only to get smacked down by the judge.  He didn't appeal then and his legal team have no grounds for appealing the punitive damages, either.  He'll pay O yes indeedy.

And Now For Something Very Different

Yes, we venture back to "The Sea Of Sand" because I know you're simply thirsting to read the next extract.  The Doctor and Sarah Jane are both in peril whilst being hunted by killer alien technology.

With startling suddenness, half a dozen Italian soldiers to Sarah’s right froze into immobility.  She turned to look at them, too surprised to speak, and caught the silent agony in the face of the nearest man.  His eyes went white and then shrivelled to nothing, his cheeks hollowed then fell in, as the skin on his face contracted to become a paperlike tissue stretched over his skull.  Which in turn collapsed inwards as his body became little more than cords of stringy tissue unable to hold up his uniform.  Barely able to react, Sarah saw the other victims disintegrate also, and behind them the bulk of the evil alien machine loomed.

          The whole ghastly process took place in a second, leaving the machine free to attack more victims.  One of the arms slashed at Sarah –

          - who found herself knocked over the side of the truck in a diving tackle by one of the more alert soldiers.  She hit the hard ground hard, getting all the wind knocked out of her.

          ‘Jump!  Jump and run for it!’ yelled the Australian soldier, suiting action to words and jumping.  Alongside Sarah the Italian who had saved her put a steadying arm around her shoulder and helped her to her feet.  Stumbling off, she turned to see another half dozen soldiers caught in the truck, bodies collapsing into wasted oblivion.  The Australian soldier fired a couple of shots that merely bounced off the armour of their assailant.

          It followed us off the roadway, realised Sarah. 

     Hmmmm things are not looking too good, are they?

Finally -

Well, let's wrap this guff up and get on with things.  I need to scrape the bristles off in order to look faintly presentable, and possibly a shower too since my locks are looking lank.  Then there's lunch, and possibly walkies for Edna since Your Humble Scribe has a touch of cabin fever, thanks to working until 17:00 yesteryon.  I also need to know what rota I'm on tomorrow - probably the much-disliked 10:00 - 18:00 one, which is only bearable thanks to working from home.

*  There may be some poetic licence at play here

**  Creepy Pasta!