Aeroflop

Conrad Squinted Menacingly

Hopefully menacingly, and not as if he were experiencing bowel trouble.  Of course I am squinting MENACINGLY because there will be the foolish and ingenuous out there who will be chortling to themselves saying "Senile old duffer, he's mis-spelled "Aeroflot", the Ruffian national air carrier."

     Tread lightly O Foolish Ones, because being turned into glowing vapour by the Remote Nuclear Detonator can often offend.

What happened to my last critic?  This.

     In this Intro I wanted to take a brief look at what's happened to Ruffian airlines and airliners since 24/02/2022, after seeing a very interesting breakdown on Joe Blog's Youtube channel.
     When sanctions came into place, there were -

     Hang on, what on earth is Youtube advertising here?  Art!

     A mobile plastic chicken-coop?  How the dickens does their algorithm think Conrad is remotely interested?  This is as bad as the 'Log-counting Software' over on Facebook or th

     ANYWAY Airbus and Boeing, the two largest airplane manufacturers in the world, completely severed their business with Ruffia.  This is bad for Tsar Poutine, because 77% of all Ruffian airliners were leased from A & B.  Thus they no longer have access to spare parts, software  updates or engineer maintenance.

     But wait, there's more.  Art!

Flot  but not very Aero

     Air travel is very important for Ruffia, given that it's the largest country in the world and spans several time zones.  Not only is it large, a lot of it is either inaccessible by road or rail, or is very difficult to reach, meaning air travel is the preferred method.  Apparently over 50 Ruffian airliners have been sitting on the tarmac since July, not going anywhere because -

     The airline industry is very heavily regulated, so much so that every single part on an aircraft has a unique reference number, and a known 'life', after which it must be replaced.  If this is not done then the aircraft is deemed unsafe to fly, which means being unable to fly them outside Ruffia, as nobody wants a disintegrating bucket of bolts flying into their airspace.  Whether air traffic controllers would allow these flights to occur domestically is another point, although apparently half of the AFCs in Russia have already been sacked due to lack of demand.  Joe also mentions that the aircrew might have concerns about badly-maintained aircraft.  Art!

Grounded.  Heh!

     Six months into the sanctions things are so bad that the Ruffian carriers are already cannibalising aircraft to keep the flying ones flying.  This violates the principle of "Traceability" meaning all parts used have to be from A & B and proven to be so from ordering to installation.  Art?

Pilot's checklist:
"First, cross fingers"

     One commenter, obviously with inside knowledge, mentioned that the navigation database software needs to be updated monthly.  They also mentioned a list of other software that needs regular updates: Air collision avoidance systems; TCAS (Traffic collision avoidance systems; engine management; maintenance logs; flight management systems, etcetera.  It's not clear what happens if these systems are not updated according to schedule, but there is a clear chance that not getting a certified update (certification because EVERYTHING in the airline business needs a certificate) will shut everything down and prevent the jet from ever being used again.

     Come back in six months and see what things are looking like, since this train-wreck is only going to get worse.  As the joke goes, "What did Ruffia have before the horse and cart?  Airbus and Boeing."

     

A hanky for Dimya!

How Very Mundane

I was looking at another entry on the Youtube Reddit channel "What is the greatest unsolved mystery?" and came across one that pretty much failed on every point.  They listed "Tamam Shud", a mystery corpse found on an Australian beach, also known to the Ockers as "Somerton Man".  Art!

     Sorry, mystery lovers, he was identified earlier this year thanks to a lot of genetic jiggery-pokery, as Charles Webb, an electrical engineer from Melbourne.

     They ended their item with a confabulation of all the myths about Oak Island's "Money Pit", all of which can be shot down - or carved up - by Occam's Razor, the simplest solution being the most likely one: it was a naturally-occurring sinkhole filled in with random tree trunks and debris.  Art!

The island in question

     Of course - obviously! - there's no mileage or money in a solved mystery, which is why scrivel about TMP will continue forever.

Almost Like "The Sea Of Sand"

When last we visited, The Doctor had found two survivors at the archaeological dig, hiding under a collapsed tent.  He was relaying a few uncomfortable and unpalatable truths to both of them.

"Creatures," continued The Doctor, "Creatures larger than humans, which accounts for the scale of these structures.  Creatures that constructed this site for utilitarian purposes, thus accounting for the lack of decoration.  Creatures that are not human, and probably not native to this world."

     Professor Templeman, proving that he had more flexibility in his intellect than others might suspect, went over the evidence and found that Doctor John Smith's hypothesis covered the salient facts.

     "I have news you might welcome," added The Doctor.  "The three machines made their way to Mersa Martuba and attacked the garrison there.  They killed a lot of soldiers, British and Italian, but were destroyed themselves."

     Both the others visibly perked up at this news.

     "Why attack the soldiers?" asked Albert.  "They're armed, they can defend themselves."

     "Yes.  Why would a machine that functions as a sentinel abandon it's post?" asked Templeman.

     "Not all of them were armed.  The Italians were prisoners.  Oh - I wonder, Albert, I wonder," ended as sudden inspiration struck him.  "The Italians were the key!  Don't you see?"

     Barely visible in the sweaty gloom, both Albert and Templeman shook their heads.

     "Thirty-eight prisoners, plus J-Force, at least another thirty soldiers and the garrison - say another twenty men.  Nearly ninety people, all concentrated into one space."

     You'll need to wait until tomorrow before we reveal The Doctor's insight.  I know, I know, I'm a right swine.

Scott Free

If you recall AND YOU OUGHT TO Conrad entertained you with the spectacularly ill-advised decision of the Wizard Lizard Gizzards to appoint one Rick Scott to be a committee chair and supervise their election funds over in South Canada.  There now seems to be a $60 million hole in the accounts and angry WLG party members are calling for an audit.  Art!

     Rick as you surely recall, is the lead character behind a $1 billion medical fraud, which naturally makes him extremely trustworthy and good with money.

     Where is he when all these angry calls for accountability are coming in?

     Why, enjoying a nice holiday off the coast of Italy on his yacht.

"Rigmarie"

Another random entry from my Brewer's.  This is an old Scottish coin of low value, which takes it's name from an inscription on coins struck in the reign of Queen Anne, which had the words "Reg. Maria" upon them.  They were made out of 'billion', a numismatical term for an alloy, usually of silver and copper.  Art!

Finally -

Conrad remembered to bring in his hand-washed laundry yestereve, still damp but nowhere near as sodden as they had been when hung out, and finished them off in the tumble-drier.  This was a smart move as it rained overnight.  Also, I was up early this morning in order to take Edna for a trot, as agreed with all the night before, as this prevents Your Humble Scribe from festering in bed all morning or spending two hours on Quora, which is easily done.  How diligent I am.