Hopefully You Remember Our Charter
And what we like to talk about. I can promise you the first two in the Intro alone; Conrad will have to be a bit creative to work in the latter.
Okay, yesteryon we focussed on how important it is to allow research projects to have the time to develop progressively, rather than rushing to production in haste, only to have to recall your car or electronic-egg whisk or long-range multi-engine bomber recalled for remedial work. This is no mere sophistry, since it profoundly affected the Teutons in the latter years of the Second Unpleasantness, where they were forced to curtail development in order to rush into production. Art!
Case in point
This big ticket item is a Panther tank, yes that one the Wehraboos wet themselves with excitement about whenever it comes up in conversation. It was supposed to be a medium tank (say about 30 tons) yet ended up at 45 tons, a very definite victim of Teuton 'Design Creep'. It was rushed into production at the behest of Herr Schickelgruber, who had all the technical expertise of a magpie when it came to big shiny things that ran on tracks. So, in it's combat debut at Kursk in mid-1943, more broke down or caught fire than were lost to enemy action. Art!
This is the Panther's gearbox, a thing of awe and terror composing 60 individual pieces that was ridiculously sensitive, and which could be stripped into uselessness simply by making a bodge of shifting into first gear. Then there was the whole 'Final drive', which, if Art will put down his plate of coal -
This is the gear box and transmission, and it was a seriously poorly designed part of the tank, prone to incessant breakdown thanks to the grossly inappropriate gearing system used. Again, if you rush it you will rue it. And, another design problem, to replace a broken final drive in a Panther, you had to remove the whole engine, which required heavy-duty lifting gear and hours of work. Art!
This was never remedied and is one reason why the Allies captured so many intact.
Atom bombs! Okay, bear in mind that the Allies devoted an immense amount of men, money and materials to the Manhattan Project, giving it top priority as they feared the Teutons were well ahead of them in creating a big bang bomb (actually untrue). They operated totally without hindrance in the middle of South Canada, utterly untroubled by enemy action. Yet the war in Europe had ended months before when they finally brought about the dawn of the Atom Age at Alamogordo. Bear this in mind, we'll be coming back to it. Art!
Before After
Hah!
What we could all do with, in the current media climate of undiluted misery, is a whimsical nonsense that would ginger up everyone's spirits and make them smile. Conrad has just come across same, on the BBC's website, no thanks to their entirely absent promotion or advertising thereof. These are the 'Natural World Photography Awards' and let Art make my point for me.
Courtesy Jose Grandio
It made me laugh out loud when I saw it. It proves that weasels are our friends. Apparently this weasel took great delight in disporting itself across the snowy wastes of the French Alps, generally mucking about in the snow and thoroughly enjoying itself. Way to go Wonder Weasel!
After Which We Can Only Follow With "The Sea Of Sand"
Just for contrast, hmmm? A sea of snow versus one of sand. Very poetic. Which is entirely accidental as Conrad is far too prosaic to care about poetry, because you cannot eat it, can you?
“Oh no”?
worried Sarah to herself. “Oh no” was
not good. The TARDIS, so the Doctor had
said – practically boasted, really – was indestructible, certainly invulnerable
to attack with any human weapons. It had
once taken a direct hit from a V1 without suffering a scratch on it’s
paintwork, according to Mike Yates, so why did the Doctor seem so worried? And where had it gone?
‘I must have
left the HADS active,’ muttered the Doctor, as much to himself as Sarah. He became aware of a tugging on his
sleeve. ‘Hmm? Yes?’
Dusty, hot and
now worried, Sarah merely glared at her companion.
‘ “Hostile
Action Displacement System”,’ explained the Doctor. ‘Moves the old girl out of any danger she
might be in.’ Normally a very good idea,
enabling the vehicle to avoid danger when he wasn’t around to keep an eye on
her.
‘Oh, very
good. Moves to where?’
A slightly
crestfallen Doctor rolled his eyes.
‘Ah, yes! Where to.
A random nearby location.’
Sarah raised
her eyebrows. She looked around her,
seeing nothing but undisturbed empty desert as far as the eye could range. No familiar blue police box in sight.
‘Ah! Yes, I did say “where to”, didn’t I? There may also be an element of “when” in
addition,’ added the Doctor breezily.
‘Meaning?’
asked Sarah, dangerously quiet and calm.
The Doctor cast her a sideways glance before replying.
‘Well, meaning
that there might be a degree of temporal drift.
I haven’t reset the HADS for several decades, you know, and it may very
well throw the TARDIS off by a few months or so,’ he blustered.
‘So. We may be stuck here for several months? I don’t see that being a problem, Doctor,’
replied Sarah.
‘You don’t?’
he answered, looking relieved.
‘Because without any food, water or shelter we’re not going to last more than a day or two!’ finished Sarah, fiercely.
Definitely an 'Ooooops' moment. Don't worry, there's tens of thousands of words left, so they probably last more than a couple of days.
What Did I Tell You?
Conrad recently came across a Youtube video that had an intriguing title: "The Abandoned Soviet Lunar Base" which was news to me, not that I've kept up with post-Glasnost revelations about Sinister-era rocketry, ballistics and lunar programs. It was named "Zvezda" which is Ruffian for "Star", but was nicknamed 'Barmingrad' after the design team's head. Art!
It was a pretty ambitious scheme, with plans to send supplies ahead of human crews, all to be assembled into a partly underground base to protect from radiation and micrometeorites, which is what current designs plan to include when WHEN NOT IF we set up on the Moon. Art!
There were also various designs for lunar vehicles to go variously exploring and grubbing about on the Moon's not-very-hospitable surface, which, if Art will put down his bowl of anthracite and coke -
Pretty obviously none of this came to pass*, for which there are sound reasons that I may go into tomorrow, if I can be bothered.
"Euphrosyne"
Conrad can't remember whether or not we've had this as a subject before, although if we have it was long enough ago that I don't remember, which might mean it never happened, or it did and gin.
No, no, nothing to do with mathematics (unless you're extremely weird). The lady is one of the ancient Greek graces and if Art will stop mooning over Mara Corday -
Phew. Clad, thankfully.
As one of the Graces she was responsible for creating good cheer, frequently seen in the company of nymphs and the Muses, bringing beauty and charm to the world. Hmmmm. Looking at the world around us, I think she must be on strike.
Thanks to Steve and Oscar for generating this blog content. Well done, chaps.
Finally -
Well over the Adjusted Compositional Ton, so I shall be brief. I took the tram home yesteryon in order to shorten the journey time, because it was Official Weekly Shop. O my! Now I know what a tin of sardines experiences; everybody who could tram it instead of risking no trains - there's a strike on, you see - had clamoured and crammed themselves onto the Metro. I'm bussing it home tonight. Tram home tomorrow? We shall see. After all, it's £3.80 for a one-way ticket, and that eats into my book-buying funds. Art!
Don't ask. You wouldn't like the answer.
* Of course there will be swivel-eyed conspiranoid loonwaffles who insist that it did go ahead and if you know where to look you can see the lights of the base ...
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