Unhinged Gaetz

BE CAREFUL!

I've already vapourised half a dozen people this morning, just in a fit of pique.  NO! that is not a typo - you ought to know by now that the English language does whatever Conrad wishes and if a word seems off or odd, then it's actually an hilarious pun.  LAUGH OR DIE.  Your choice.

     "What is the demented old snark on about now?" I hear you quibble.  Pausing only to acknowledge that you, too, have read "The Hunting Of The Snark" I shall explicate, but first - Art!

Quite possibly a Snark.  Or a motley.

     There I was, pondering, about what Big Ticket Item I could use for today's afternoon Intro, when I had to log back in to my account at The Daily Beast, at which point inspiration struck and I decided to focus on TDB.  Art!

     It's a South Canadian news website that aims at an audience as interested in pop culture as news.  Conrad first came across it last year, at about this date, because it was focussing on Congressman Matt Gaetz, so I took out a subscription because it was a fascinating if tawdry subject.  Of course - obviously! - once I took out a subscription Fratty Matty became less of a fixture.  That figures.  

     Because he's not been covered in the British press at all, allow Conrad to bring you up to speed with an outline; the whole thing would take up several BOOJUM!s were I to go into detail.  Art!

'Eddie Munster' looking worried

     For years Matty knocked around with his pal Joel Greenberg, committing multiple felonies, the most serious of which is having sex with a 17 year old and transporting her across state lines.  This charge is a major felony, punishable with ten years in prison, as the female in question was a minor and the South Canadian judiciary takes an extraordinarily dim view of such offenders.  Joel is up for sentencing this year, which is likely all that is delaying an indictment against Matty; Joel, in fact, had so much factual, evidentiary-based dirt on Matty that his trial was postponed, and then postponed again, which is unheard of.  Art!

Joel The Hole

     There is already a team of prosecutors assembled for the case against Gaetz, who - despite loudly and sweatily pronouncing his innocence - has also assembled a team of attorneys for his defence, including one specialising in sexual misconduct matters.  In fact it's rumoured that Fratty Matty married his fiance years ahead of schedule so she couldn't bear witness against him, under South Canadian law.  Also, whilst Trump was still in office, Matty tried desperately to get close enough to him to beg for a blanket pre-emptive pardon; most unusually Trump took notice of his advisers, who told him not to go anywhere near Gaetz.

     The thing is, by the time this goes to trial my subscription will have expired.  I have to say TDB does offer a fascinating South Canadian-centric view of the world, especially South Canadian politics, so I may take out another.  Art!

Who's laughing now?

     I claim that all this Gaetz guff is all under seedy sleazy sordid criminal enterprise, and only peripherally Political.  That's my story and I'm sticking to it.  

     

Cyber Whingers

Conrad may have mentioned those bafunes 'Cyber Ninjas', who were responsible for the catastrophically shambolic 'audit' of the Maricopa County ballot for the 2020 election.  Their story would make for an hilarious farcial documentary, although people would find it hard to accept how stupid they were.  'Fire Throwing Clowns' were cited as a legitimate fear by one balloteer.  Art!

Clowns.  Just not throwing fire.

     You won't find any mention of them after January of this year, because they decided to fire all their employees and liquidate the company.  Their idea was to simply reconstitute the company under a different name -

     Sorry, no.  A judge ordered them to hand over all their documentation in January, and if they refused, informed them that they would be fined £38,000 PER DAY.  They still haven't handed anything over and now owe over £2,000,000.  Well, chaps, you could always start a Go Fund Me.

Enough Sordid Political Shenanigans!  Bring On Beauty!

Another Sony World Photography picture, this one is an example of the photographer - anonymous again - THANK YOU SONY - waiting to get the perfect shot, although they probably have ten others that didn't work out quite right.  Art!

     A photograph taken in Hanoi, Vietnam is all we are told about this one.  I can tell you that this cyclist is wearing the traditional 'Non la' or 'Leaf Hat', and as evinced during the Vietnamese 'Special' Military Operation, their bicycle is as overloaded as it can get whilst still being rideable.  The Vietnamese also seem to gifted with whimsy when it comes to mural decorations.

Let's Bring On "Tormentor"

Yes let's.  If you recall, Luma was being attended to by Yvonne, a helpful spirit trying to make up for her shallow, wasted life as a mortal.  Luma, understandably grumpy at nearly being sliced in two by a malevolent spirit, is heading to bed.

Once safely under the covers and able to consider himself decent company, he invited Yvonne into the room.  She came in via the bathroom wall, a sight that always made him catch himself.  Only when she or other spirits acted like that did he question the ability – perhaps The Gift was a better way to put it.

               ‘Okay, question time.  Where do you go when you aren’t here.  Why don’t spirits interact with the non-seers.  Can two spirits interact physically with each other.  Do Heaven and Hell exist.’

               Wielding a pen, he looked up to see Yvonne shake her head.

               ‘The Professor said you had endless questions.  Where do I start!  Very well.  When I’m not here I may be elsewhere, not manifested, or manifest and watching other mortals, or communicating with other spirits.  Staying in a manifest form like this takes energy and concentration.  Some spirits find it harder than others and remain out of physical form most of the time.’

               Louis busily scribbled down the answers she gave, then gave a huge yawn that made his jaw hurt.

               ‘More tired than I realised.’

               Yvonne sat on the edge of the bed, sympathy visible across her features.

               ‘Natural reaction, you poor dear.  Get to sleep, your questions can wait.’

               ****, he really was tired, more than he liked to admit.  Not that he wanted to sleep, since sleep meant dreaming, which meant having nightmare replays of the attack suffered today.  Tomorrow was Sunday, he could sleep in.

               In fact there were only the merest hints of nightmare; every time dream images took a turn for the worst they flittered away into nothingness.

               ‘Poor dear,’ murmured Yvonne, tweaking Louis’s ear for the fifth time when he started to twitch in distress.  ‘You didn’t ask for this, did you?’

     No he didn't yet he's stuck with it.  Much as you are <sniggers>.

Finally -

Yes you may skip this bit as we honk on about what Dimya's doing in Ukraine.  As you should already know his panel of advisers are the Bash Street Kids, and his planning has been done by Corporal Jones.  We believe his inner circle has recently added a new expert adviser.  Art!

     What can possibly go wrong!

     O yes, that the Ukes have gotten their hands on Perfidious Albion's 'Starstreak' anti-aircraft missile system, which makes the Stinger look old and antiquated.  Conrad, not being up on modern missile systems, hadn't heard of this until a couple of weeks ago, at which point folks on various forums were goading Perfidious Albion to send them to Kiev.  They have done. Art!

     This thing cannot be spoofed by decoys or flares as it doesn't use infra-red, making it very different from other man-portable SAMs, and the terminal velocity of those triple tungsten darts is about Mach 4, in the order of 2,500 m.p.h.  Simply put, if they hit an aircraft, they will cut it in two.  Maybe three.  Art!

"The Ruffian Air Force is unhappy."

     It has already been used by the Ukes to down a Ruffian helicopter.  No pictures here as we're not quite that tasteless; you can go look it up on Youtube should you feel ghoulish enough.

     Okay, I think that's enough to make Dimya pound the table and spill his morning kasha, so our work here is done.  Later!