Allow Me To Elucidate, Mate
Actually you don't have a choice, do you? As I have informed you already, thanks to access to Disney +, Your Humble Scribe is busy watching the Anglo-French co-production of "War Of The Worlds" and is nearing the end of Episode Five. Art!
To set the scene, Earth's population centres are hit by thousands of metallic objects, which then broadcast a killer signal that wipes out everyone not underground, underwater or in a metal box (excluding cars). Sounds bad, right? Wait, it gets worse. Conrad, working on guesstimates here, reckons that 99% of the world population has been exterminated. BUMMER.
There is a caveat here, however. That population-ending electromagnetic pulse? It was a one-off unique event that the hitherto-unseen alien invaders cannot replicate, because if they could have they would have by now - we are many days into the invasion-cum-attack. So!
Next we see these robot-dogs on the prowl, killing any survivors they come across, either with high-velocity darts or an extendable probe.
What's going on, you query? Let Conrad explicate further. You see, Helen and Bill encounter one of these robot-dogs, which exhibits all the signs of being about to end Bill's mortal existence, until Helen picks up an abandoned SA80 and shoots it. Either she got lucky or these things are a lot less bulletproof than they ought to be. That's Bill and Helen on the poster, for your information. In a nice realistic touch Helen, completely unfamiliar with automatic weapons, gets thrown about wildly by the bucking firearm. Bill, being a curious neurosurgeon, takes the rob-dog apart, finding a large chunk of tissue inside. So, they're cyber-dogs*. Art!
Three people I've not mentioned yet.
ANYWAY Conrad has worked it out. What's the current world population? Say eight billion. If only one per cent of you us survive, that's still eighty million people. Eighty million people, were they to get organised, co-ordinated, armed and efficient, would be a significate stumbling-block to these alien beggars, so they have to get rid of us before appearing in person and putting their delicate green skins at risk. Hence the cyber-dogs.
This is only a working hypothesis, since I've not read the episode list present on Wiki. For those scornful about killer cybernetic quadrupeds (and also disappointed that they have four legs, not three) let me remind you of Boston Dynamic's 'Spot'. Art!
Unarmed iteration
It would be very simple to equip this frame with a weapon; nothing more sophisticated than a long blade projecting over the front, and because it masses seventy pounds, it can deliver a killing stab. Or you could weld a firearm to it, of up to 28 pounds weight. Eventually you know it's going to happen, probably in Japan or South Korea, and there'll be Spot 2.0 patrolling the Nork border, frightening the Nork guards were they able to express it, and wondering if they could tempt it to defect with a hambone.
Can You Spell Howling Irony?
We mentioned Anton Diffring a few blogs ago, the actor who epitomised the Nazi poster-child; blond, blue-eyed and with chiselled features. Art!
If Hollywood or Ealing wanted a Nazi in their films, Anton was at the top of the casting director's list of go-to people. The thing is ...
1) He was gay and 2) his dad was Jewish. Young Anton, not slow on the uptake, decided that life in Nazi Germany would be doubly hazardous to his health and so debunked to England. As is evident from his film performances, he was fluent in English, though one wonders if he hammed-up the accent a bit.
Life. Stranger than fiction.
Whilst On That Theme
You know, the Second World 'Special' Military Operation. Let's have another picture from "The War Illustrated", shall we? Yes we shall, I've decided, so there. Art!
This is HMS 'Umbra' and to judge by that battle-flag she certainly brought darkness upon the enemy. Most of her SMOtime service was in the Mediterranean, where she claimed the unusual victory of downing a plane, a feat rare for a submarine. It transpires that one of her torpedoes caused a colossal explosion aboard an Italian freighter, just as an escort aircraft was above it. Both plane and freighter sank.
Back To The Torment
Don't fret if you're not keen on "Tormentor", we're already on Page 73 out of 81. Louis had survived another attack by evil spirits - he really is a bit of a ****-magnet, isn't he? - and had managed to revive his spirit aide, Yvonne.
Louis
managed a short doze at seven when the
dawn began. It made him feel even more
tired when he got up and went downstairs to get breakfast. By then Yvonne had vanished, leaving a big
hollow pile of duvet on the bed.
‘Surprise, love!’ said Marjory,
sitting on the settee. The lounge was
crammed with other people – actually spirits, and the Spirits-That-Write. He recognised Harry, from the college science
labs, but the others introduced themselves:
a short, red-haired man with an open expression was Tobin; the spindly
geek with Sixties dress sense was Oliver; Harold from the canal nodded and
shook hands; a diminutive blonde girl surely no older than Jen gravely
introduced herself as Amelia.
‘What’s all this?’ he asked, as
another spirit came from the kitchen carrying a tray with toast and tea. She gave a short curtsey.
‘I’m Josephine, and we all wanted
to say thank you for destroying that horror, the Margrave. And to mark the passing of The Professor.’
‘And for helping save Yvonne,’
added Marjory, primly. He could feel the
presence of Yvonne, not manifest with the others.
Feeling exactly the way he’d felt
when encountering Rowell, the Principal and the Bursar, Louis allowed himself
to be feted with hot sweet tea and slices of toast.
‘Tell me about the Margrave,’ he
asked between sipping and chewing.
Handy, that, having spirits able to make breakfast for you. Makes up for thinking you're going bananas.
Finally -
Yes, here we are again, pontificating on Dimya's O So 'Special' Military Operation in Ukraine. Predictably the latest news is not good, the Black Sea Fleet's flagship 'Moskva' has been so badly damaged by fire that the entire crew have been evacuated, leaving the Ukes rubbing their hands with glee and claiming they hit it with anti-ship missiles. The Kremlin hasn't specifically denied this, though as per Justin Bronk's observations on Ruffian carelessness with ammunition storage, it's just as feasible that thirty-year old ammunition managed to spontaneously cook off, or some dimwit crewman tried to use one as a hammer. Art!
Moskva is the ship that told Uke Border Guards on Snake Island to surrender, and that uniformed Uke is expressing in gesture what their unrepeatably rude response was.
Rather more worryingly for BOOJUM!, all our Ruffian viewers have vanished. Art!
 |
| Gone completely! |
I know what you're thinking - those 150 FSB chaps got sacked, and BOOJUM!'s Ruffian audience abruptly vanishes, that can't be a coincidence. We shall have to wait and see what happens when they get back home and log onto their home PC or laptop. Missing you already!
* Insert bad joke about Cerberus here.
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