When The World Proved To Have A Horrid Sense Of Humour

Cue Tasteless Puns About Sinking ...
Perhaps that old worry about the Curse Of Conrad, which causes any band I like to immediately break up, has been visited upon both Asia and the Antipodes, thanks to my mentioning of Djakarta yesteryon.
     If you recall, and YOU BETTER HAD, then you will remember that Djakarta is sinking at a rate of about a foot per year.  To residents there from New Year's Eve onwards, it must feel as if it's already sunk.  They have experienced torrential rains, rains that make our torrential downpours in the Pond of Eden seem like a light drizzle.  Art?

A population adrift

     This is why the Indonesian government intends to move capitals by 2050.
     Meanwhile, far to the south: I believe "Antipodes" comes from the Latin for "Against the feet", as that is where Australasia (from the Latin for "South") sits in regards to This Sceptred Isle, as do we to them -
    Where was I?  O yes - Australia, which is currently alight.  Art?

No jokes here, folks

     The situation in Oz is exceptionally grim, though it has become slightly less awful what with a drop in winds and some light rain.
     Comparing and contrasting both these scenes makes one feel that reality has broken somehow.
     Wowsers, what a downer of an Intro!  Quick, Art, bring on the dancing horses!

HORSES, Art: HORSES!

Stefan Grabinski And The White Wyrak
By way of a change of subject.  That title sounds like an excellent name for a band (hint hint Matt Hartless et al), except it's not.  Pan Grabinski was a Polish author, sometimes dubbed "The Polish Poe", and he wrote what is politely dubbed Weird Fiction.  Art?

Ol' Stef, totally rocking the Moustache Look

     His work fell into obscurity after his death in 1936, not coming to notice until a generation later; Stanislaw Lem, whom Conrad would like to dub the Polish Heinlein, was an admirer, which is recommendation enough*.
     Anyway - the White Wyrak is a monster that lives and hides in factory chimneys, and is the focus of Ol' Stef's story of the same name.  Despite having a thorough trawl I cannot find a picture of a WW, so you'll just have to use your imagination.  Art?

No, no, ignore the pig!  The chimneys, that's where you're looking.

     And with that I think we've changed the subject quite enough.  Next!    

More Data Dropping From "The Stand"
Yes, Conrad is still educating both you and himself as regards the cultural references in this novel.  Your Humble Scribe is quite proud finishing all 1,324 pages in short order <basks in his own glory>.
     Oh, it's by Stephen King, whom you may not have heard of.  Just to keep you up to speed.
     Right.  Today's input is "A Polish fire-drill".  Conrad is not entirely sure exactly what this means, as any Googling only brings up the Polish words for "Fire Drill".  There was something about an Irish Firedrill, which seems to be different from a Chinese Firedrill.

Polski Straz!

     Conrad wonders if this is not some old allusion that South Canadians used to make about Poles, who were stereotyped as not being all that bright.  Of course this was before they joined NATO, which proved they had their wits about them.  I shall have to ask either Ben or Deggsy about this one and get back to you.
     There was another difficult to decipher allusion, too: " - that chicken-ranch business in Times Square" which a little light Googling indicates is pretty sleazy, so we're not going there.  SFW, remember!

The only chicken ranch that will ever grace these pages

Caution!  Loonwaffles Are About
For Lo! we are back on the BBC's astronomical images of choice for 2019, and there's one posted there that's going to have the conspiranoid swivel-eyed loons crawling out of the woodwork.  May I present to you the rover "Curiosity", taking a picture of itself.  Art?


Curiosity.  No dead cats in sight.

     No, you can't see the robotic arm holding a camera, because the camera technicians who staged this picture wanted to show the Martian surface, and they replaced the arm with collages of the actual sands of Mars.  The whole thing took two days to film and involved 55 frames, with the arm contorting around to take said pictures.
     None of this will convince the loonwaffles, who will variously insist that there are men on Mars otherwise the photo; or that it's all being filmed in a studio (probably by Stanley Kubrick, and if you believe he's dead then you're part of the conspiracy).

"Hello, Stan?  NASA here.  Listen, we want to offer you a really sweet gig ..."

Did You Know "Skype" Is Estonian?
No word of a lie.  No ghastly puns, either.  I shall leave that to the BBC, who highlight an news item with "How Estonia Became E-Stonia", as they inform the reading public about how totally switched-on the Ents are about the internet and getting their callow youths well-immersed in teh Interwebz.  As compared to Perfidious Albion, one presumes, although our population is about 60 times larger.  Art?

Tallinn

     The Ents needs this skills base, as they are right next to the Ruffians, and Tsar Putin has been casting acquisitive eyes upon them, which has even gone to the extent of carrying out cyber-warfare attacks.  Of course that particular knife cuts both ways, and Dimya may end up getting an unpleasant surprise of his own from some small Ents.
     Here an aside.  There is a terrific thriller out of Estonia, called "Darkness In Tallinn", which is all about gangsters and returning gold bullion reserves and the innocents caught up in the middle, and it has a simple yet fantastically appropriate change half-way through that will knock your socks off**.  Art?

Oh yes, a pregnant woman about to give birth as well.

     Really, make time to see it.  CONRAD INSISTS!

     Well, that's us up to the Compositional Ton, so with that we are done!

*  You know, author of "The Cyberiad" and "Pirx the Pilot" and so on.
**  Surgical hose; no.  Only socks.