The Bad Just Got Worse

It's Snowing!
In some parts of the world this is treated as no more than a minor inconvenience, even when it's four feet deep*.  In Norway, when the inevitable Zombie Apocalypse ensues, deep snow will immobilise the zombies and allow my far-distant cousins to ski along and bash their heads in with rocks.  The zombies, that is, not the Norks**.

Rush-hour in Oslo

     Right, off to have my lunch and divert Tom from his toothache troubles with a retelling of last week's Pub Quiz questions.
     I come back to you a lot later, to report that Tom's toothache is considerably better but that he was troubled by horrible stomach pains.  Poor chap, he's just a chronic sufferer.  Hopefully I diverted him with the Pub Quiz questions.  Oh, not only was he unwell, yet his - British! - manners are so finely-honed that he requested I delay asking the questions until Russell could join us.  Faced with such politeness, what else could I do but agree***?

Okay, okay  - Uppsala

     Conrad Is - Apprehensive
Really.  This morning I turned my alarm off, then promptly fell asleep again, only waking with barely enough time to shave and shower, after donning my Human Camouflage Apparel (which you would call "skin").  My normal process in the morning is to repost yesterday's BOOJUM! with a witty update, except today I didn't have time.
     Imagine my baffled bemusement when the Stats button this very minute indicates over 900 hits today.  Art?

There you go

     Conrad is firmly convinced that there's something odd going on in the background and these aren't all real hits, because - I know we've gotten popular since early November, but do you see "Pageviews all time history"?  Less than 3 months ago that read 40,000, and that was after well over 3 years dedicated blogging.
     So we'll see what figure 12:00 midnight leaves us with, eh?

Things Continue To Get Worse
Don't worry, there will be no mutilation of the English language with terms like "worser" or "badderer".  
     "Wow, what has moved our normally stoic and implacable writer to such depths of despair?" I hear you call.  Hmmm.  I'm not sure if that's sarcasm or honesty.  Anyway -
     I'm sure you're familiar with "IMDB", which stands for "Internet Movie Data Base", which is the - sorry, let me just amend that - THE go-to site for anything to do with films.  Your first port of call.  What did Conrad's disbelieving eyes come across yesterday?  Art?

Wow.

     Conrad is horrified, yes, yet also less than surprised.  "You maniacs!  You blew it up!" just about sums it up as most Message Boards are crammed with Message Bores, and you can guarantee that one of these Message Boors will start a thread titled "Worst film ever" for EVERY SINGLE TITLE.
     There are honourable exceptions, of course.  An industry insider posted a series of very long, detailed exposes about the execrable remake of "Fantastic 4" on the Message Boards for that film.  Go read 'em before they get deleted.  You might also notice a familiar name cropping up on the "Battle of Britain" MB's, somebody going by the name of "ComsatAngel" ...



Things Are Still Bad But Not Quite As Bad As Before
One thing that always puts a smile on your humble scribe's face - a rather frightening look really, and be grateful you don't get to see it personally - is the arrival of Naval & Military Press' monthly catalogue, which resembles a tabloid newspaper in length.
     Because Conrad has spent at least £1400.97 with N&M they insist on sending the catalogue, bless them, although it arrives in the fallow time ahead of payday next week.  Not only that, they sent me TWO copies, so they must think well of me.

Right, I haven't covered anything that I'd intended to, so I shall end with what I briefly mentioned yesterday: "Carbide Schieten".  This is an hilarious Dutch custom of putting calcium carbide in an empty milk churn, chucking some water in, then sealing the top.  Giving the carbide time to give off explosive gases, a large naked flame is applied to the base of the milk churn.  BANG!
     Here's some people being ambitious:

Hmmm.  Over-egging the pudding in my opinion.

*  None of that Metric rubbish here, Imperial all the way!
**  Said in a jovial and amiable tone so referring to Norway, not North Korea.
***  Yes, I could have ignored him and begun straight away, but that would be churlish and Not British.